Utilityprices.com R US!

I got sent a link to utilityprices.com Normally I would never bother, but there's been lots in the papers about reductions in gas and electricity prices. So I clicked the link and was pleasantly surprised to discover I could save £432 a year - a saving of around 30% from my previous supplier. The process was very easy - no complicated stuff, just put in what you are paying monthly and it does all the difficult stuff. Anyway, I thought it was worth sharing, and hey, you could save some money.

Angling through Adversity

Do you like fishing? Do you like social systems and growing up? The you need to read Angling through Adversity. Written by Roddy Finnie ( wonderful name for someone connected with fishing).Roddy is a journalist and avid fisherman. It would be true to say he has fished his entire life and still gets that electric thrill when the rod bends. His journalistic interests are sport, human interest, history, politics and the natural world. He is a member of the NUJ . He began by writing short angling stories and submitting them to various publications. His break came when a Texas lady, a professional angler, gave him the opportunity to write for her own online magazine. He got paid $135 for a 1,500 word piece. The story was called “Brown Trout from White Water” and was their best read online. Subsequently he had stories published by the subscription-only magazine, Waterlog, one of the best angling magazines in the world. He is either the longest or the second longest serving angling club secretary in Scotland, and is a Director (Trustee) of the River Clyde Fisheries Management Trust Limited . He is also a Scottish Ministers Appointed Water Bailiff for the Clyde System. He is a happily unmarried 59-years young guy who lives in Cathcart on the south side of Glasgow. His present passion is to raise funds to teach kids (or adults) to angle properly and safely. But what of the book? “Angling through Adversity” is not just a book about how a child became interested in angling and the influences that shaped his lifelong love of the sport. The book starts with Roddy Finnie (the author) as a young boy who is entranced by everything around him and who has an immediate love of discovering nature in all its forms. Throughout the book, the reader sees Roddy grow his skills and improve his understanding of the world. As the book unfolds, the cultural, economic and industrial differences that have taken place during his life are brought into play. The book is written not just with anglers in mind, but for lay folk too, who may never have lifted a rod or cast a fly. Roddy sends his stories to his non-angling sister and asks her a double-barrelled question: on the one hand did she understand it and did she enjoy it. If the answer is in the affirmative then he knows he has achieved his objective The second half of the book takes us away from Roddy’s childhood though his teenage years and on into adulthood. He became a roadie for a Glasgow Rock Band and changed his angling from mainly sea and coarse fishing towards fishing for trout and salmon. The later parts of the book touch on Roddy’s experiences during his thirties, forties and fifties. He has managed to retain his humour (albeit with a little cynicism) while seeing the need for practical conservation and fisheries protection. It is a life story of angling, events, natural phenomenon, animals, people and what they do and say and how ridiculous (on occasion) they can be to the point of embarrassment.

Relationship smelationship

Do you ever wonder where you have gone wrong with your partner or search for a partner? Unless you have been extraordinary lucky or you don't care, I would bet that at some time in your life you have seriously questioned where you are. Take a look at therelationshipbridge.com. It has quite a lot of answers, and seems to me to address today's issues in a modern way, not in a judgemental or blame apportioning way. Take a look anyway

dosh.net and loosejoints.com

Both these domains are on sale at godaddy auctions. See them here:dosh.net and here for loosejoints.com

rented.tv

Rented.tv is on auction at cax.com No reserve! http://cax.com/rented.tv

Education, education, education ( redux)

I haven't written much recently, but this piece by Fraser Nelson in the Spectator deserves our full attention. In essence, it shows that despite City academies proving an enormous boost to education ( and don't forget it was Tony Blair and Lord Adonis who fought for them) Labour has now said it would effectively abolish them. If any clearer signpost was needed that the Labour party is merely a pawn for the big unions and in particular the teaching unions, Twigg's speech couldn't make it plainer. Brown tested throwing money at schools ( ie bribing teachers) to destruction, and British schools have plummeted in the rankings. The difference? Good teachers - which, I suspect, is why the unions don't want payment by merit - ie they KNOW how bad some of their members really are. Fraser's article proves the point that education not only helps the disadvantaged to escape, it also gives a huge boost to the economy. Work nowadays is brain, not brawn, and all the Poles, Czechs etc etc who come here prove it every day. As an example, if just the bottom 10% of bad teachers in America were disposed of, and replaced by merely average ones, the American economy would absolutely soar. So the next time anyone tells you the Conservatives a) aren't doing anything and b) don't care about the disadvantaged, re-read the article.

Not Just for Kicks

Over at Elderjuice we have a great new novel for you to read. It's all about the fabulous Tiller Girls and I'm sure you will like it! It's called "! Not just for Kicks". Two eleven year olds, Beth and Suzy are reluctantly thrown together, and although from different backgrounds become soul mates, through their passion for dancing. In the hedonistic days of the mid-sixties, they bring havoc, chaos and laughter to the harsh world of show business with their lust for fame and fortune, and their friendship becomes even closer. Beth, a raven-haired beauty, quickly learns how to use her sexual charms, and with the outrageous tomboy Suzy, the two make their way in the pressurised world of live TV, theatre….and of men! But their close relationship is tested severely when they realise that their dreams are heading in different directions. Their ambitions and misconceptions cause a rift, dramatically tearing them apart. Time passes, and 20 years on and thousands of miles from home Beth reaches a crisis in her life, and realising she needs her dearest friend, the search for Suzy begins. Amazingly, they find each other, but where has the passage of time left these two former friends, and although only having achieved notoriety in the world of show business, their dreams of fame and fortune is staring them in the face.

The Astrology report

"The Astrology Report aims to provide you with guidance and foresight to help you through the good and the bad times of your life. Over time, we will feature spiritual guidance as a tool to better understand where you are right now, and how to move onwards and upwards to a better situation. Our weekly and monthly astrological reports will give you an overview of how the stars are shaping up to influence what is happening to you, how to take a view on and help with your job, your finances, your love life, and, most importantly, your inner well being. We hope to give guidance in order to give you a better understanding of your own, innate powers and how you might go about developing them. We will be reviewing books on all aspects of astrology, Tarot and psychic powers. New products that come to market will be looked at and reviewed objectively. We aim to bring you experts on Chinese horoscopes, Indian horoscopes, numerology, rune readings and the like."

I love Coffee

So I was very interested to read this over on The Gaffer.

Awesome gun!

The gaffer has a story about this awesome gun. 1 million rounds per minute. In theory, the AK-47 Kalashnikov can fire 600 rounds per minute, and the M-34 6000. In reality you can't because you have to change magazines. But even if you COULD, the barrels would probably melt

How long .. how much... making your life easier

At the Gaffer we are always trying to keep our readers informed and amused at the same time. So this post about how long to cook things, how long things last in the fridge, the freezer or the cupboard, how much water you need and so on. Take a look.

Play Poker and never lose any money!

Over on thegaffer.com, we have a poker game called Grampa Grumble's Poker game. It's really good and you'll never lose any cash!

thegaffer.com has five hundred posts up!

Here's thegaffer.com's five hundredth post! and the five hundred and first as well!

If you never thought our world was just stunning, look at these

Thegaffer.com has two lots of 30 amazing photographs from around the world. Have a look here and prepared to be amazed, in the true sense of the word.

Cyprus - an alternative view!

Basically Cyprus is screwed - but for a lighthearted look, take a look HERE!

Thegaffer.com

Take a look at thegaffer.com. Takes the news with a pinch of organic salt....

Elderjuice horoscopes for November 2012

Elderjuice's resident astrologer has done November 2012 hoeoscopes

She did it!

Our 60 year old enduring heart finally " did the deed" with R. She shares her thoughts with us at elderjuice.

Antiques Roadtrip with Anita Manning on Elderjuice.

Anita Manning has described what it's like to be on Antiques Roadtrip, and let's elderjuice readers into the secrets.

Weekly horoscopes on Elderjuice

We've just started our first weekly horoscopes on elderjuice! Check them out here

Half Life of Hannah makes number 1!

Nick Alexander's exciting and romantic new book is now officially a best seller. It's made number 1 on Amazon. Pick up your free copy here.

Have a laugh with The Country Banker

Millicent Pyle ( if that's really her name) nearly wets herself at the prospect of being unmasked...on elderjuice.com

Elderjuice special offer now live!

Elderjuice has a special offer of a free download for The Half Life of Hannah by Nick Alexander. Sign up to our special offers email and get the free book. I promise you will enjoy it!

Free book download

From 2nd September, elderjuice.com will be offering a free download of The Half life of Hannah by Nick Alexander to all readers who sign up for special offers. This is a time limited offer for our readers so check out elderjuice.com around lunchtime on 2nd September and get your free copy.

Enduring heart has published her second installment on elderjuice.com. Read it here. And Nick Alexander's latest installment of The Half Life of Hannah is also out.

Enduring heart - a love -and sex - affair at 60

Elderjuice is serialising the love affair of "enduring heart". Why should younger people go " Yuck!" when over 60s have sex? Read her heart-warming , happy story here

Nick Alexander - Part 4 of the Half life of Hannah

Elderjuice is already onto Part 4 of Nick's great new novel. Read it exclusively on elderjuice.com.

August horoscopes

elderjuice has a new resident astrologer. Pop in and see what your stars hold for you in August

New writing on Elderjuice

We have a new section on elderjuice.com - we are calling it "New Writers" we will have all sorts of writers, but we have started with Nick Alexander and his "13:55" shortly to be followed by a world exclusive in the first serialisation of his latest book " The half Life of Hannah". We are also serialising John Archibald's " Gurkhas in the Mist" Both are well worth a read

Tory Tim and Lord's Reform

Tory Tim talks about Lords reform here. Red Ron will reply next week.

Anita manning - auctioneer extraordinaire

Elderjuice has a great interview with Anita Manning. Her carreer only started in her 50s.

Horoscopes for May 2012

Today is the day you can find out what next month will bring. Elderjuice has Silver's May Horoscopes just for you

Charles Evans masterclass.

If you want to know how to paint a picture Charles Evans tells you how here on elderjuice.com

Stuart Sotcliffe - the fifth Beatle

Stuart Sutcliffe died 50 years ago this week. See his story here on elderjuice.com

March Horoscopes

Elderjuice has a new look and feel. Check it out here and catch your March Horoscope

February Astrological Horoscopes

Elderjuice's resident astrologer Silver Astro Artisan has her February readings here.Just what you need to brighten a winter's day!

Burns night,25th. January

If you know anything about Robert Burns, it is probably that he was a bit of a lad as far as the ladies ( lassies) were concerned. Elderjuice has a " Toast to the Lassies" in honour of the day as well as words praising the Bard in " To the immortal memory"

Mr. Lavish and Mr.Frugal go on holiday

The new episodes in the lives of Frugal an d Lavish can be found now on elderjuice.com.
Mr. Lavish goes to Monte Carlo, whilst Mr.Frugal goes to Merthyr Tydfil

Maggie The Iron Lady

Meryl Streep and Jim Broadbent give the performances of their lives in "The Iron Lady". See what Douglas Mitchell has to say about it on Elderjuice.

2012 horoscopes

2012 horoscopes for each star sign are here on elderjuice, available at just $3.99

December Horoscopes on Elderjuice

Astro Artisan has her December Horoscopes here on elderjuice.com

My Fathers fortune by Michael Frayn

Every now and again you read a book that tells you more about yourself than about the protagonists.This book - reviewed her on elderjuice.com - is a delight,profoundly moving and thought provoking

Stars on elderjuice

Elderjuice likes stars rather than celebrities. We have Daniel O'Donnell. We have Reginald D.Hunter We have Anthony Newley.
And soon we will have Dorothy Squires and Alexander Mccall Smith.
Worth a read

The stars in November

Here are elderjuice.com's November horoscopes by Silver

Bright Colours Only - Irish Theatre

The most extraordinary article about death from Belfast to Brazil. Read it here on elderjuice.com

seaweed for beauty and health

Green slimy stuff is apparently really good for you in all sorts of ways. Read about it here at elderjuice.com

Yoga for the over 50s

Elderjuice has a good article about keeping fit with Yoga for the over 50s.

On elderjuice.com

There is an article about diabetes, the silent killer

October horoscopes are up on elderjuice

You can find them here:HOROSCOPES

Spain for the over 50s

Great article by Tina Irving about retiring to spain on elderjuice

Daniel O'Donnell

Elderjuice has a great NEW and EXCLUSIVE interview with DANIEL O'Donnell - who hardly ever does an interview...

GETTING THE MOST FROM ELDERJUICE.

Visit elderjuice.com. It is a site aimed at the over 50s, with offers for older people.Elderdating.co.uk as a resource for older people looking for friends, for romance or something more. Soon there will be insurance and travel subsidiaries. Airport parking with special offers for elderjuice readers, as well as offers from Marks and Spencer, B&Q and John Lewis.
If you are over 50, interested in arts and entertainment,lifestyle, astrology,charity, travel, making new friends and finding about our amazing over 50s world, then read elderjuice.com

Daniel O'Donnell, Alexander McCall Smith

Coming soon on elderjuice.comEXCLUSIVE ELDERJUICE INTERVIEWS
* Irish singing superstar, Daniel O'Donnell
* Worldwide best-sellling author, Alexander McCall Smith.


RETIRING TO THE SUN
* Financing your Spanish villa
* Things to do in Spain
* Using Spain as a base


AND MORE...
* Your October astrological charts
* Political debate: Lenny the Lefty vs Toby the Tory
* Money: Mr Frugal vs Mr Lavish


PLUS...
Travel..film..books..families..dating..shopping..
health..fitness..motoring..technology..pets..
fashion..humour..food & drink.

Find the TV remote

When you get to my age, there are certain things like the remote for the TV which are hard to find. ELDERJUICE has the definitive guide....

September's stars

Silver, Elderjuice's resident astrologer, has posted her September readings. He whole year book for 2012 will be available to buy through Elderjuice from November

Doll good show!

Over on elderjuice.com we have a REVIEW of Dolly Parton's new tour, starting in Glasgow

Is it good for you?

Elderjuice's regular astronomer, Silver, has her August predictions here.

A holiday for £100!

This Friday, 29th July, Easyjet holidays are offering 100 fantastic holidays for just £100,
Elderjuice.com has the special offer right here!

Whisky Galore!

Compton Mackenzie's classic is re-released this Friday. See this article here on elderjuice.com

Easy airport parking

Tired of lugging suitcases around at the airport? ELDERJUICE has the answer to trouble free easy airport parking

Savings for over 60's

Elderjuice has some nifty savings if you are doing a cultural trip around Europe.

Elderjuice.com...

..is now live here.Help us by telling us what you would like to read about...

Elderjuice already

well very nearly.
We will be live Tuesday 14th June 2011.
Please come and see us...

Elderjuice

You might have noticed there is an Elderjuice blog.
Actually, there is an elderjuice.com website coming soon.
So if you want to read any of my musings in future, you'll need to find them there...

Tsunami shmunani

Yes the devastation and loss of life is terrible in Japan. Yes it will cost billions to sort out and people's lives will be forever changed. Yes you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy ( well actually you might)
But there is just a little contarrian view to this.
Japan has been struggling for years with demand problems within it's economy and effectively a 20 plusw year standstill - which amongst other things has allowed C hina to overtake it on one measure of trading power.
Just think for a moment. All that infrastucture and material goods (roads,cars,planes, trains, houses etc etc) will all have to be rebuilt and replaced.The fiscal stimulus will be a geometric size bigger than all the government stimuli over the last umpteen years.
All the money the insurance companies sit on doing nothing will all come out of mothballs, and hey, it'll go into making things and building things and employing people.
I thjink that's what's called a light at the end of the tunnel ( and not a bullet train speeding towards you either)

How to be a succesful, beloved president ( or Prime Minister)

It should not be forgotten that is was the era when Communism was smashed, when Britain re-gained it's self-respect, and STILL people in Scotland hate Maggie Thatcher with a venom and bile that defies description. Of course, they hate her ( and Reagan) because they were made to face reality.
Sadly, I don't think the present government has it in them to do the same.




By ARTHUR B. LAFFER
For 16 years prior to Ronald Reagan's presidency, the U.S. economy was in a tailspin—a result of bipartisan ignorance that resulted in tax increases, dollar devaluations, wage and price controls, minimum-wage hikes, misguided spending, pandering to unions, protectionist measures and other policy mistakes.

In the late 1970s and early '80s, 10-year bond yields and inflation both were in the low double digits. The "misery index"—the sum of consumer price inflation plus the unemployment rate—peaked at well over 20%. The real value of the S&P 500 stock price index had declined at an average annual rate of 6% from early 1966 to August 1982.

For anyone old enough today, memories of the Arab oil embargo and price shocks—followed by price controls and rationing and long lines at gas stations—are traumatic. The U.S. share of world output was on a steady course downward.

Then Reagan entered center stage. His first tax bill was enacted in August 1981. It included a sweeping cut in marginal income tax rates, reducing the top rate to 50% from 70% and the lowest rate to 11% from 14%. The House vote was 238 to 195, with 48 Democrats on the winning side and only one Republican with the losers. The Senate vote was 89 to 11, with 37 Democrats voting aye and only one Republican voting nay. Reaganomics had officially begun.

President Reagan was not alone in changing America's domestic economic agenda. Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker, first appointed by Jimmy Carter, deserves enormous credit for bringing inflation down to 3.2% in 1983 from 13.5% in 1981 with a tight-money policy. There were other heroes of the tax-cutting movement, such as Wisconsin Republican Rep. Bill Steiger and Wyoming Republican Sen. Clifford Hansen, the two main sponsors of an important capital gains tax cut in 1978.

View Full Image

Associated Press

Ronald Reagan after signing his first tax cut, Aug. 14, 1981.
What the Reagan Revolution did was to move America toward lower, flatter tax rates, sound money, freer trade and less regulation. The key to Reaganomics was to change people's behavior with respect to working, investing and producing. To do this, personal income tax rates not only decreased significantly, but they were also indexed for inflation in 1985. The highest tax rate on "unearned" (i.e., non-wage) income dropped to 28% from 70%. The corporate tax rate also fell to 34% from 46%. And tax brackets were pushed out, so that taxpayers wouldn't cross the threshold until their incomes were far higher.

Changing tax rates changed behavior, and changed behavior affected tax revenues. Reagan understood that lowering tax rates led to static revenue losses. But he also understood that lowering tax rates also increased taxable income, whether by increasing output or by causing less use of tax shelters and less tax cheating.

Moreover, Reagan knew from personal experience in making movies that once he was in the highest tax bracket, he'd stop making movies for the rest of the year. In other words, a lower tax rate could increase revenues. And so it was with his tax cuts. The highest 1% of income earners paid more in taxes as a share of GDP in 1988 at lower tax rates than they had in 1980 at higher tax rates. To Reagan, what's been called the "Laffer Curve" (a concept that originated centuries ago and which I had been using without the name in my classes at the University of Chicago) was pure common sense.

There was also, in Reagan's first year, his response to an illegal strike by federal air traffic controllers. The president fired and replaced them with military personnel until permanent replacements could be found. Given union power in the economy, this was a dramatic act—especially considering the well-known fact that the air traffic controllers union, Patco, had backed Reagan in the 1980 presidential election.

On the regulatory front, the number of pages in the Federal Register dropped to less than 48,000 in 1986 from over 80,000 in 1980. With no increase in the minimum wage over his full eight years in office, the negative impact of this price floor on employment was lessened.

And, of course, there was the decontrol of oil markets. Price controls at gas stations were lifted in January 1981, as were well-head price controls for domestic oil producers. Domestic output increased and prices fell. President Carter's excess profits tax on oil companies was repealed in 1988.

The results of the Reagan era? From December 1982 to June 1990, Reaganomics created over 21 million jobs—more jobs than have been added since. Union membership and man-hours lost due to strikes tumbled. The stock market went through the roof. From July 1982 through August 2000, the S&P 500 stock price index grew at an average annual real rate of over 12%. The unfunded liabilities of the Social Security system declined as a share of GDP, and the "misery index" fell to under 10%.

Even Reagan's first Democratic successor, Bill Clinton, followed in his footsteps. The negotiations for what would become the North American Free Trade Agreement began in Reagan's second term, but it was President Clinton who pushed the agreement through Congress in 1993 over the objections of the unions and many in his own party.


President Clinton also signed into law the biggest capital gains tax cut in our nation's history in 1997. It effectively eliminated any capital gains tax on owner-occupied homes. Mr. Clinton reduced government spending as a share of GDP by 3.5 percentage points, more than the next four best presidents combined. Where Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton slipped up was on personal income tax rates—allowing the highest personal income tax rate to eventually rise to 39.6% from 28%.

The true lesson to be learned from the Reagan presidency is that good economics isn't Republican or Democrat, right-wing or left-wing, liberal or conservative. It's simply good economics. President Barack Obama should take heed and not limit his vision while seeking a workable solution to America's tragically high unemployment rate.

Mr. Laffer is the chairman of Laffer Associates and co-author of "Return to Prosperity: How America Can Regain Its Economic Superpower Status" (Threshold, 2010).

How very very true....

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son..
He gives the young boy three 10p coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face....
The father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him
on the back..
The boy coughs up 2 of the 10p's but is still choking.
Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business
suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of
coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down,
neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat
and
makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants; takes hold of
the boy's' testicles and
starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly..
tighter and tighter !!!
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs
up the last of the 10p's, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and
walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father
rushes over
to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do
anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
'No,' the woman replied. I'm with the Inland Revenue..'

Sorry for the delay...

Dear Reader I apologise for the lack of posts.
Several conjunctions have rendered me helpless in the face of technology, of work and indeed lack of ideas.
But today - Halleluliah! - something caught my eye.
Fraser Nelson makes the very valid point over on Coffee House that a great man once said
"Economic forecasting only exists to make astrologers look good."
There is however one prediction I will make.
Whatever governments, businesses, individuals do, however much they borrow or save, however much they spend or hoard, the present malaise will only cure with time and the eighth wonder of the world.
That's compound interest, in case you don't know.
PS I apologise for the present blackness of the blog.
A well meaning friend fiddled - and somehow we can't fiddle it back.....

Clev-errr

I wonder how many people have picked up on the very clever allusion in the new AA ad for home cover insurance?

And why, you may ask, is John Cleese, who has pots and pots of money, doing it?

Well, I suspect he has been offered so much money for a day's work that he couldn't turn it down ( or he's got a book/film to publicise).

So what is it?

Well, as the water pours down through the ceiling, his " daughter" says she will call the AA.

He replies," The AA? For faulty showers?"

Bliss.

Sic Transit...

The crown Prince of Japan, an extremely erudite man, spent some time at Oxford.

The story goes that when he went for his interview, which mostly consisted of having dinner with the Master of Balliol, the following exchange took place.

Now Balliol regards itself as rather grand, a bit like the second regiment of the Gurkhas, or just about any Guards regiment.

At dinner, which was proceeding most smoothly, as you would imagine, the Master was making conversation and said to HRH " I've always been fascinated with Japan and it's culture and spiritual life. How exactly does the Royal Family fit into that?"

" Well," said the prince," There are, for instance, two sides to my position."

" How interesting, and what would they be?"

" Naturally, there is the temporal, which clearly defines my position as next in line to the throne."

" Of course, " said the Master, with an unctious smile." And the other?"

" The other is the spiritual, which, from my point of view, means I am a god."

" Ah, yes, I see, " said the Master." In that case, I'm sure you will feel very at home at Balliol."

True Phlegm

I know I'm not keeping up with the pace, but hey, sometimes I have stuff to do.

I had an exceptionally fine dinner last Thursday night for the Gurkhas in the New Club in Edinburgh, complete with regimental silver, generals, lords,kilts,trews,medals and an after dinner speech.

The speech was given by Professor David Purdie, who not only gave his services free but also donated the pre-dinner drinks. The reason was his 90 year old father-in-law had fought with the Gurkhas in Korea, and is ( possibly) the last surviving Gurkha officer from that period.

He gave an excellent speech, not so much for the content but for the delivery. It was replete with military stories of the great and good, none more so than the Brigadier in the Carlton Club which was blown up by the IRA in 1990.

He represented everything a British Brigadier is known for: shoes so shiny you could see your face in them; suit immaculately correct; regimental tie; and true phlegm.

The Brig was having his dinner when the bomb went off. He was eating his dessert, and as the building collapsed around him, a cone of plaster formed on his head - and on the spoon of pud that was making it's way to his mouth.

As he came to rest somewhere between the first floor and the basement, complete with table and chair and himself intact, he took stock of the situation with a mind honed from years of command.

In his own words :" As I dusted off the plaster from the spoon, and ate my pudding, my thought was that this was no ordinary kitchen mishap."

It became the quote of the year - and reminds me of Sid James in " Carry on Up the Khyber."

A decade in Afghanistan

08.10.2010
MEDIA RELEASE
STUDENTS LAUNCH NATIONWIDE CAMPAIGN TO REMEMBER 10 YEARS IN AFGHANISTAN
Scotland is set to host the main events of a national appeal to raise over £350,000 for those affected by the war in Afghanistan, which will be launched in October. An ambitious team of students from the Universities of Exeter and Plymouth lead the ‘DecAid’ campaign, which will honour the decade long contribution of British Armed Forces in Afghanistan since 2001. how of solidarity. DecAid deserves to s
The official launch on 13th October in 7 Rifles Barracks, Davies Street, London, will be supported by DecAid’s patrons; Lieutenant General Sir Nicholas Parker KCB CBE, Deputy Commander of ISAF Forces in Afghanistan; Hamish Clark of ‘Monarch of the Glen’; the Lord Lieutenant of Devon, and sponsors; Exeter University Innovation Centre; Plymouth University; Exeter University and NRG Direct Mail.
DecAid’s latest patron, former BBC war correspondent and independent politician, Martin Bell, comments "I find it most heartening that these young people, on their own initiative, are doing so much to support our soldiers in Afghanistan. This is not a celebration but a show of solidarity.”
DecAid proceedings will dominate 2011 in a coordinated year-long campaign. The opening ceremony, a spectacular ‘Massed Pipes and Drums’ event, on 26th June 2011, will see 2,011 musicians march along the Royal Mile in Edinburgh, in conjunction with the Armed Forces Day events.
The appeal has set a series of extreme physical challenges which will involve several thousand people nationally, including ex-servicemen, their family and friends. The challenges include;
The ‘Munro Mission’, in Scotland, which aims to conquer 283 mountains in 49 days, climbing the height of Mount Everest every three days. The team will complete the 1600 mile route without the use of motorised transport, instead travelling on foot, and by bicycle and kayak. Ever Munro will be dedicated to service men and women who have lost their lives in Afghanistan. In this challenge the team will look to raise money for additional service charities such as the Gurkha Welfare Trust.
‘The Ride 2 Remember’ static bike race from London to Kabul,
‘The Big Tow’, in which vehicles will be towed around Rockingham race track in a tri-service competition; and
‘Stretched to the Limit’ where 30 teams will attempt the arduous trek up Snowdon, the highest mountain in England and Wales, carrying a heavy stretcher.
The DecAid enterprise will donate to three service charities;
‘Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Families Association’ (SSAFA);
‘The British Limbless Ex-Servicemen Association’ (BLESMA); and
‘Talking 2 Minds’,
It is the brainchild of Rupert Laing, aged 24, who lives in Moray and is a former Exeter University graduate.
Laing comments “we want to encourage the population of the UK, particularly our generation of under 25 year olds, to stand up and show their support for the work of the courageous and inspiring members of our armed forces on the 10th anniversary of the conflict.” Laing leads the DecAid Team which is made up of current and former members of the Exeter University Officer Training Corps (EUOTC).
As well as its own proceedings, DecAid will oversee individually organised events which can be advertised on their website www.decaid.co.uk. All of the money raised will go towards helping those affected by the decade long conflict in Afghanistan.
Ends
Notes for Editors:
For further information contact: Rupert Laing – decaid@live.co.uk or 07709 430 127
Several of the participants have already completed challenges such as climbing the five highest mountains of the UK and Eire in five days, each involving a marathon, and briefly held the World Record for the most people joined together to complete a marathon.

Jest Magic!

You might not believe this, but I was in the company of an erstwhile fund-raiser for the Labour party today. Yes, I know, very uncharacteristic.

He is, however, properly speaking, a dirty rotten capitalist, but also quite a nice chap, and we have business dealings with him that generally work out well.

We were chatting away when he suddenly broke off.

" Ya know, Kingy, I have to tell ya this. I'm this close to voting for that David Bluidy Cameron of yours. He's jest magic!"

There could be no more ringing endorsement...

A Rose Red City...

I've been away, dear reader in Canada and the States.

Apart from putting on about half a stone ( 3.5kgs if you are under 40) I had an excellent time.

The most interesting part was being in Detroit.

This once truly great American city has lost about 65% of it's population over the last 7 or 8 years. Whole sections of the city are derelict, cut off from their surroundings by the roads and dead car parks that leaders of the Automakers insisted be provided.

There are no buses or trains or trams - they wouldn't allow them. But they needed to get their workers to and from the huge plants dotted about the city, and they wanted them ALL to buy a car every year, so the roads got built.

Over time, it meant that sections of the city lost people, then imploded. All the shops are no longer in Detroit - they are in the malls, half an hours drive away.

The first Black Mayor ever in Detroit in the '70s ( not really surprising - over 80% of the population is Afro-Caribbean) tried hard to help the City, right into the '90s. All the things he wanted to do to redress the balance were fought tooth and nail by the car companies and by the whites. When he stepped down, he had achieved virtually nothing to redress the problems.

Now, the (white) mayor is beginning to suggest some of the things that should have been done nearly 40 years ago.

There are no people wandering around - why would they? There's nothing for them to do in terms of shopping or sports or anything. The car parks stand as mausoleums to a failed environment.

What struck me most forcibly was that even before the cars came, Detroit was a rich city. Indeed, one of the reasons the cars got built there was that the money and the infrastructure existed. The rich executives and owners of Ford, General Motors, Chrysler ( and all the long forgotten firms they swallowed up) gave millions to the city to found schools, art galleries, concert halls - they gave to the City in their droves, as well as building fine buildings both for themselves and their businesses.

Now, many of these buildings have no future other than being flattened, and the land underneath returned to pasture. Even Henry Ford's first production line factory lies derelict - a plaque claiming that in 1925 it produced over 9,000 Model T's in one day.

But why -what has happened now? People are still making money in Detroit - lots of it.

They just don't give it back, they take, and take again.

John F.Kennedy and his brothers still hold a strong grip of American's souls, and Teddy's death last year boosted that, as does the 50th Anniversary of Jack's Presidential address.

His words are everywhere, and they are as relevant today for America and for ourselves as they ever were:

" Ask not what your country can do for you, but rather, what you can do for your country."

We've all forgotten what that means.

PS The picture is of the Renaissance Centre, GM's world headquarters.

It's a fabulous building - with nothing round about it. They are starting to landscape and riverscape round about, but all the shops have gone and there are either expensive good restaurants or hash-joints in terms of food.

Recession

The compliments are coming thick and fast at the moment. Our man in China asked for a picture of me and this was his reply:

"You look as a handsome,robust,kindness man I think."

Of course, I am his customer, so there just may be a touch of sycophancy there...

Anyway, today is a day when Mrs. Lear goes to Yoga.

There are two distinct classes, the Blingers, and what she calls the Norms & Nicies.

The Blingers mostly drive black 4x4s, and get very upset if the perfect line up outside the class is broken by eg a Ford.

They arrive late and chatter.

They've all had breast enhancement. How can you tell? When they lie on their backs, their boobs stick straight up.

The Norms & Nicies on the other hand, turn up on time, concentrate on their Yoga, their boobs meld into their chests when they lie on their backs, and generally drive ordinary cars.

And they don't care where or how they are parked.

The point of this story is that the Blingers are slowly but surely diminishing in number.

This is the direct result of the present economic conditions. Some of the 4 x 4s have gone. The husbands are either having to put more money into their businesses, have lost their jobs, or, if partners in law firms,have no net salary this year.

These are the people who would normally keep the economy growing by their spending habits, but these are the very people who have been hardest hit.

The Banks, of course, have been waiting for the little glimmer of hope so they can start liquidating any problem loans ( they don't do it at the bottom, only when it starts to improve). They've also been hugely encouraged by the Basel III bank ratios, as to all intents and purposes all UK banks are well within the parameters.

Which would make you think they would start lending again.

But of course not. As someone recently told his bank manager:

" Listen, if you hadn't caused the problem in the first place, you wouldn't be causing us ALL problems now!"

PS In case you are unsure, this is NOT a picture of me. I am far more handsome... and incredibly modest.

Ah So!

I received a very nice compliment today, in that someone who had read this blog asked me to contribute to another. Regretfully, I declined, as I have too much to do at the moment as it is.

I do, however, intend to contribute to stillsexyatsixty when it's up and running. After all, I have several birthday cards from a year or two ago which say " older.... wiser.... sexier." And who am I to disagree?

Anyway, the other nice thing that happened today was I had an exchange of emails with a lady in China, who says her name is Jane Russell.

Now actually, I'm pretty sure her real name is something like Wang Bo, and she just wishes she had the body and looks of Miss Russell ( By the way, did you know Howard Hughes invented a special bra for her for one of his films? I presume he had to handle her breasts a lot to make sure it fitted...As I recall the movie was "The Outlaw" -appropriate, I think)

She is our account executive at one of the parking companies we use for domains, and her emails are a permanent delight. We ask her to do something, which she does, but then goes way way beyond the call of duty, and is pathetically eager to please. If all the Chinese that people deal with are like her then we might as well give up now.

So you can imagine my delight when the following came in from her..:

"Thanks for your reply ,I find ideas from your ideas and will tickling up to senior management."

In the UK, I'm sure she would be done for sexual harassment, but I'm pretty sure it's a good career move in China.

Inglish as wot she is spoke

Amongst a raft of other things I did today, I went in to my local bank.

There was an Asian lady waiting, not in the queue,and eventually the manager ( if that's what they are nowadays) came out to speak to her.

The Asian lady spoke with a pronounced Glaswegian accent. The gist of the conversation was that she had phoned the call centre about something - which of course was in India.

The conversation went..." An ah canna unnerstan a wurd they peeple sez."

Sic Transit Jamilla....

A Great Occasion

Yesterday was spent in Edinburgh, gearing up for the last night of the Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo.

2 Div, which is the brigade that is stationed in Scotland, were the hosts and a fine collection of punters we were. I was the only one without any medals.

This is the 60th. anniversary ( it began in 1950) and it has returned to it's roots, having flirted with less military themes in the 80's and 90's. Last night included the Pipes and Drums of the Gurkhas, which is partly why I was invited.

The final firework display was a fine ending, and I defy anyone to hear the Lone Piper spotlit on the Castle Battlements and not to feel the hair on the back of their heads bristle. Tattoo comes from the words "Doe den Tap Toe", Dutch for "turn off the taps" which was the cry in the 17th. and 18th. centuries in the Low Countries,when the fifes and drums of the local regiment marched through the streets signalling it was time for the troops to return to barracks.

This year of course was especially poignant because of the deaths in Afghanistan, and quite a number of the participants last night were not long back.

Next year, astonishingly, marks 10 years of us fighting in Afghanistan. A group of students have come together to form DECAID which will raise money for a variety of military charities, hopefully the GWT included.

Two of the projects are worth mentioning. One will be a full parade of 2,500 Pipers and Drummers marching down the Royal Mile, immediately after armed forces day next year. It will be well worth securing a view.

The other is nearer my heart. A group of 6 young men will climb ALL the 283 Munros in a seven week period. They will walk all the way, including between the peaks. It includes canoeing to the Islands.Incredibly, the record for doing this by a single person is 39 days.

The intention is that each Munro will be dedicated to a dead soldier in Afghanistan, and that will include a spell which will be dedicated the the Gurkhas.

Sadly, we are already past the 283 deaths that would cover the Munros.

Corncrakes

I've had to do a quick ( as in two days there) trip to Romania, as my incredibly valuable signature is required on a EU document to enable me to get my hands on Eur150,000 of EU cash.

Some months ago, the Gnome ( you can guess why he's called that) came across some Corncrakes on our land.

Now Corncrakes are on the red list and we should all be doing our utmost to keep them with us. Naturally, we do rather more when our palms are crossed with silver.

So the EU is providing me with money to expand the area where the Corncrakes are and to create a sort of "corridor" for them to flit to and fro between.

We can only use the land for hay thereafter, but as this will add up to about Eur 100 per hectare, and we get the EU subsidy of a further Eur 67 per ha, this will represent quite a nice return on our net costs per ha of about Eur250 after the EU grant. The Romanian government is supposed to be lobbing in a few quid as well, because they should attract eco-tourists.

It's a long term project, but what it does do is underpin and secure our business in Romania for the long term.

The Mayor has been very helpful in leasing us some extra land to cover the loss of agricultural land this will entail.

I did have to promise him that he could be the first to see them... once we find them again....

Into the yellow leaf...

I'm back from Switzerland, after my cousin's funeral.

It was a lovely time, despite the lashing rain and freezing temperatures.

Her four children and myself talked endlessly about times gone by , mulled over old pictures ( who was that?) and remembered odd things ( there should have been an enormous bowl of ice cubes on the dining table to add to her white wine.)

We all threw a white rose into the grave and some earth, and her eldest son said a few words, followed by me, who had known her longest. We both said to remember that she loved us all in her own way, and I reminded her children that she was very proud of them too.

Then we all went to the Hotel du Lac for an excellent lunch amidst general bonhomie.

The evening was spent back at her magnificent Maison de Maitre, making pasta and heating up the ubiquitous cheese tarts. No one had been there for 2 years, but the vegetable patch was still flourishing, growing produce for the gardener.

Her younger son ( No.4) and my two eldest ( Ms Lear Senior and Mrs. Rock God) had great laughs remembering all the holidays they had together. My children were always very envious of No.4 because he was allowed to do practically anything he wanted , whilst mine were always being circumscribed.

As No.4 said, " Well, that's blind indifference in upbringing." He was not wrong.

I do hope her four children and our family remain friends. I knew her all her life, and all of her children all their lives.

As we left the table, No.4 clicked his fingers and shouted " Staff! Staff!" which had always been his mother's way of dealing with anything.

It raised a good laugh but brought a tear to more than just my eye.

A life less ordinary

I've been saddened by the recent death of a cousin of mine, who was variously known as Mrs.Posh,The Hoor, and the Alkie.

This might make you think she was less than loved, but, as I was brought up with her, I never felt less than great affection for her.

Being some 9 years older than me, as a very little boy I'm sure I had to perform as her baby whilst she played little mother, and in the old days when you could dial only local numbers,she and I used to dial random numbers and ask to speak to odd people, then slam the phone down shrieking with laughter.

She hated school, and my father, who sort of looked after family matters, was continually having to take her back and ask for another chance at a whole string of places. The one school she quite liked was at Rolle in Switzerland, where she was able to get out and indulge her taste for both men and drink.

She crashed her father's Rolls into the side of her ( much older) future husband's Alfa Spider in order to make sure she got his attention. That was in the South of France when she was 18, and had just done the season - and a lot of the deb's delights too.

She married at 19 an ex-Austrian Swiss National 24 years older than herself ( having paid to repair the Spider) who had escaped from Hitler and done well. He was to go on and produce Peter Seller's films and The Go Between with her money. But he really made his wealth from buying up all the French films after the war for $10 each and then renting them worldwide at $1000 a time.

When they divorced three children later, it was - and remains - the second most expensive divorce case ever, second only to Margaret, Duchess of Argyle.

She married again and had a further son, but the marriage was short lived.

I always felt very sorry for her in that she never appeared to have any enjoyment in her life - sex and booze yes, but not contentment and happiness. It later years, even if the world was coming to an end, her response was usually that she was having problems with the swimming pool, or the staff - or both.

Just one story.

As I've said, her husband was Swiss. In those days, Swiss jurisdiction meant that she could never have her children, as they automatically became wards of the father.

Stupidly, she allowed her ex-husband to take them on a skiing trip to Switzerland, where they were promptly purloined legally by the father.

My cousin immediately appealed to my father for help. As all his brothers and sisters said he was the cleverest of them, and, rather like myself, was not one for sitting back. He was a man of instant action and reaction.

He drove immediately from London to Villars with my cousin and me. He dropped me in Geneva with airline tickets in my name and those of my cousin and her three children for the following afternoon.

At Villars, he managed to collect the children early from ski-school, and raced off south to the St.Bernard tunnel, crossing into Italy before 7pm. Luckily, as was the way in those days, children were on their mother's passport until they turned 16. My cousin and her children caught the early flight to London from Milan, and by lunch time were wards of the English Court - delegating custody to the mother.

Father (wisely) set off back to London via France.

In the meantime I was still in Geneva, and sauntered up to the check -in desk at the appointed time - whereupon several burly Swiss policemen and my cousin's husband descended on me.

Needless to say, like Manuel, I knew Nathing.

Of course, eventually the Swiss figured it out and my father was persona non-grata for a few years.

But he was always rather pleased with his escapade.

And her husband is still alive and well...

I wanna tell you a stawy

I finally have a little time to tell you a stawy, as Max Bygraves used to say.

I have a friend who is Armenian by descent, but Iranian by birth, who is now about 46. Lets call him Mr.Notsonice

He lives in London. He has no money, he is ill with ME, and he stumbles around the Iranian ex-pat community.

About four weeks ago, a friend of his, the Ex-Ambassador I mentioned some time ago,appeared on his doorstep with a young ( as in 24 year old) girl in tow. Lets call her Miss Fancypants.

Now the story is that they had never met before and he had simply asked her to accompany him to see Mr.Notso, because she was nicely dressed. And smelled nice too. Can you imagine any girl in her right mind doing that?

That was a Thursday evening. They all went out and had a meal, and on Friday Mr. N and Miss F went out together on a date. They went back to his flat and three and a half weeks later she is still there.

What's odd about that, you may ask? Well, with the best will in the world, no female in her right mind would give Mr. Notso the time of day, let alone sleep with him. He admits to never having had sex without paying for it. All of a sudden Christmas has come every day of the week as far as he is concerned.

Miss F professes undying love for Mr. N. So much so that there is talk of wedding bells, parents being introduced and the like. And yes she has a British Passport and a job in a lawyers office before you ask if that's the motive.

She is supporting him, running around after him and generally not letting him lift a finger. Mr. Notso is wandering around looking as if he has been hit over the head with an extremely large hammer.

Now call me an old cynic ( I am) but this just cannot be 100% on the level. He's a friend of mine and even I don't like him quite a lot of the time.

To my mind there are two possible reasons.

1) She is being chased by a gang of international crooks and she is using Mr.Notso as a safe house.

2) She is a plant from the Iranian Secret Service trying to get inside the dissident Iranian community in London. She is much better looking than Mata Hari .

Either way, Mr. Notso may not have long to live.....

The love that jolly well ought to speak it's name.

I have been remiss, dear reader, in not keeping you up to date with the goings on in my realm. I have, perhaps uncharacteristically, been very busy with funerals and other matters, which have kept me away from a keyboard for a longish time.
I have a tale of intrigue and skullduggery to tell, but not the time to do it today.
For the moment, I just want to bring to your attention a new production of Romeo and Juliet.
What's interesting about that, you may say.
Well, it stars Michael Byrne and Sian Phillips. The former is 67.
The latter 77 - and perhaps best known for being married in the 60's to Peter O'Toole.

But my point is, this is ROMEO and JULIET. Surely a couple of wrinklies shouldn't be allowed to play two young lovers?

All I can say is I think it's a brilliant idea. Let's reinvent romance and find such a love in our waning years.

How to handle the Taliban

SERVING BG MEDIA REPORTING

1. There has been a report in the Media of a Gurkha soldier on active service in Afghanistan, who is reported to have decapitated a member of the Taliban.

2. The incident remains under investigation by ISAF authorities.

3. Any media enquiries regarding this incident should be referred to the MOD Press Desk on 020 7218 2661.

That'll make the blighters think twice before messing with the Gurkhas!

Our three lads.

From the MOD:

I regret to inform you that the following were killed in action on operations in Afghanistan on 12 Jul whilst serving with 1 RGR:

Major James Bowman RIFLES seconded to 1 RGR – Officer Commanding A Company. James was a bachelor, his parents live in Tidworth.

Lieutenant Neal Turkington RGR – Platoon Commander A Company. Neal was a bachelor, his parents live in NI.

Corporal Arjun Purja Pun RGR – A Coy. Corporal Arjun Purja Pun was a Battle Casualty Replacement detached from Sittang Company RMAS. He was married with a son and a daughter. His wife and children live in UK. His parents live in Nepal and will be informed through HQ British Gurkhas Nepal.

Next of Kin have been informed.

Even more sadly, James Bowman was known to me. His most recent communication told of his hugely rewarding times with the Gurkhas, that they had had some "crunchy" times in Afghanistan but thankully were on top and staying there.
He had been invited to the GWT dinner in October at the New Club in Edinburgh, but had had to decline as he was to be on ops.

A Black Day

From Spean Bridge Hotel:
"We are very sad at the hotel to lose 3 of our friends today.Our flag is now half-mast. Please convey our sorrow. We are thinking of you. All keep safe. We send our love to you all..Commando bar and all staff"

Another day another hill

Well we've made it to Friday so only 2 more Munro's - Lochnagar which weirdly is a mountain - and Mount Keen.
Wednesday was the most glorious day and I accompanied the boys up the hill. When we got back down I had to reach for the moisturiser for my arms and face.Wednesday night was also the reception in Kingussie, where lots of RBLs from eg Nairn and Granton on Spey came and presented us with cheques, our piper played and we were also enjoined to dance Nepali dances to the Mardle drum rhythm. I also had the most extraordinary conversation with a perfectly nice looking chap, who clearly decided he needed to tell me all about a) his sex life and b) his likes and dislikes about the size and shape of the various parts of the female body.Fortunately I was rescued as he was working his way down...
One of the RBL Chairmen just happens to be a piper and a piping judge, and he also obliged with a few tunes which brought everyone to their feet.
Thursday as ever was the longest day and characterised by wind and rain.Tea was very required as they came in about an hour earlier than anticipated. My view is this group are even fitter and more determined than their forerunners, making quite sure their times are noted, so that next year's lot will find it hard to beat.
We stayed last night at The Inver Hotel at Crathie, where Susan always makes us most welcome and gives us free food and on this occasion accommodation as well.
One of the interesting pieces of information I have gleaned this time is about "khud" races.
In the old days, the army always posted pickets on the top of the hills around where it was marching or bivouacking, so that they would not be subject to a surprise attack.
Of course, the poor pickets had to run for their lives as they were withdrawn, and as the Gurkhas were the best mountain runners, they always got the job where speed and mountain craft were essential. The pathans used to hide in gullies trying to guess which way they would run, and obviously kill them if they could.
In general the Gurkhas won through, but on the second retreat from Kabul ( will we witness the next?) 35 Gurkhas died keeping what enemies they could away from the main force.
Tonight there is a reception in Banchory where we will be on parade to receive more cheques.

A letter from Joanna Lumley to our 7 Gurkhas

Beyond the seventh mountain,
Beyond the seventh glen,
Beyond the seventh waterfall,
March seven Gurkha men.



This could almost been written for you! In fact it comes from the Disney film of Snow White: and these eerily, almost-accurate words came from the mirror consulted by the Wicked Stepmother.

Scotland would not be the same without the tread of Gurkha feet over its hills and glens, and I am thrilled to think that this year you will be organising a scarily ambitious programme to raise money for the GWT.

May good fortune and fine weather dog your footsteps, and may the pleasure of companionship cancel out the pain of blisters. This brings a thousand good wishes and Namaste to all your fine walkers from Joanna and a whoosh of green smoke and an eerie cackle from the Wicked Stepmother (whom I am able to channel at will).

Joanna

Gurkha Highlander 2010- Day 3

The memorial service for Gurkha Highlander went off exceptionally well last night - even the sun came out, and the hills had that magnificent grandeur they take on when cloud and sun come together in a certain way.We had a lovely message read out to us from Joanna Lumley, which I know is now being disseminated through the media.
You may not know this but Joanna was married to her present husband in Fort William- just along from where we are climbing the seven summits.
Frank in the Spean Bridge Hotel had again produced his best curries, and everyone had a jolly party afterwards.
Today the lads climbed Creag Meagaidh, getting up and down in about 5 hours,although two of them did it in about 4.
When I went back to pick them up I donned my walking boots again and headed up the hill. After about 45 minutes two ladies and a dog came running towards me - I would have to say they were of the " broad bosomed, bold, becalmed, benign " of Balham fame - except their broad bosoms were anything but becalmed as they jounced about with each step. They steamed past with a cheery wave and I conti. After another 5 minutes or so, two of the boys ( who were in training for Trailwalker until they got an injury so are now in recovery training)came flying down the path towards me. I dug in my pocket and held out the van key,which one of them grabbed out of my hand on the way past.
I turned back at that point...
The leader today was a senior serving officer, whose connection is that he was in
10th Gurkhas as a Captain. The more astonishing thing about him is that he was in a class of 7 at Stirling University in his youth, along with Jack McConnel and Tommy Sheridan.He also had Eric Joyce with him, well known as the MP who claimed the most ever expenses. Amongst other subjects they were studying politics, and the discussions must have been wonderful.
Tonight we are having Baht at the organiser's house in Kingussie - followed by another party/fundraiser in the Silverfjord hotel.
Should be fun...

Gurkha Highlander 2010 - the Seven Summits

I suppose this is technically day two and the weather, as ever, continues to disappoint. Whilst most of the UK is sweltering in 80F heat, we in Spean Bridge are on about 14 C ( = 56F) with heavy rain and mist. In fact, as we drove towards the departure point this morning, there were 3 Munro's ahead of us. You could see the top of two. I asked the boys which one they thought they were going for." The one with the heavy mist, sahib" came the chorus.
Frank made us his special fish curry last night.The Nepalese are not huge fish eaters, so they were a bit circumspect to begin with when it appeared. Suffice to say it all got eaten.
We just saw the end of the Engerland match. End being the operative word.
We did, however, watch the Argentina versus Mexico in the bar, where there was a man and a women in Argentine strip, going berserk for most of the match, the lady screaming in what I assume was Argentine and the bloke in a very strong Scottish accent. At half time I asked them how they came to be here. They lived just up the road and the lady was from Argentina. The chap made it quite clear that following Scotland was toooo depressing, whilst following England was clearly out of the question. Plus it helped with matrimonial harmony if Argentina lost as they could commiserate with each other.
Before setting off this morning we had a practice at the Commando Memorial for the wreath laying we have tonight. Piper Samir played "Flowers of the Forest" most sweetly, and Sgt Dev laid the wreath with enormous aplomb. I hope it goes as well this evening when supposedly TV crews and newspaper journalists will attend.
In the meantime, I have to get in the food for tomorrow's climb, which includes lots of sweeties. Gurkhas have a sweet tooth, especially for chewy ones, so several jumbo bags will be required. Then I have to get the tea flasks ready for the boys coming down off the mountain.
As Corporal Ang said yesterday " I didn't know tea could taste as good, Sahib!"

GH 10 launch!

I'm sitting in the reception at the Spean Bridge Hotel, which is, as always, the nerve centre of the Gurkha Highlander Operation each year.This is GH10.
Frank, the owner, and all the staff are so good to us that despite the place being generally overcrowded, we love being here.
Together with my chum, we drove Arnold Clark's minibus down to Sandhurst on Friday, and I ate my first curry of the period. Quite why I'm not sure, as I could have had a KFC or a McDonalds or a kebab in the immediate vicinity of the Travelodge we were in.
On second thoughts, the curry was the most acceptable option.
It didn't stop us having an egg & sausage McMuffin for breakfast - the option of GBP7.50 or GBP 1.99 was no contest when every fiver we can save pays for the food for an old pensioner for nearly a week in Nepal.
Sandhurst itself almost brought tears to the eyes of my pal as we drove to collect the lads - he had been there 37 years earlier as a sprog lieutenant. I have to say he has lost none of his military bearing over the years, despite not being career military.
We stopped off in Stafford to collect the rest then battered on up the road. My chum got off at Croy to take the train back to Edinburgh, and I drove on.
Frank welcomed us like long lost friends, insisting all the kitchen staff met us,as well as the customers in the bar, the restaurant, the hotel and the fish and chip shop, so it took a while to get to the first drink - which Frank paid for himself.
His boar curry was delicious, as was the chicken and pork, and the rice mountains were quickly demolished. Mind you, we do not have The Man Mountain with us this year who could eat any four people under the table and still be looking round for seconds....
Sunday dawned dull and cold ( 14C) so the smart new fleeces were donned for the assault on Ben Nevis.
The format is a bit different this year ( you can read about it here) which means I will have slightly less driving to do ( if you discount the 2000 to collect and drop off the boys. This was done to save enough for 20 pensioners for a month - times are really tough in the world of charities and we have to go for even more value for money.
So please - give money if you can, but even more importantly mention the Gurkha Welfare Trust on your blog, or Facebook or whatever.
I promise you it will make you feel good....

Defeat!

The Sun ran a front page special last December after the draw for the World Cup.
It ran:
England
Algeria
Slovenia
Yanks.
Those with some linguistic ability will spot the initial letters form " EASY". The sub-title was " Best English Group since the Beatles!"
I have little or no interest in fu'baw, but I have to admit to my interest being increased by England's two appalling performances so far.
In order to progress they now have to beat Slovenia, which, from last night's performance looks a)impossible and b)has the potential for an England defeat.
I told you the reason for the white flags with the red crosses in an earlier post.
I suspect there are even more England fans with metaphorically short appendages this morning....

A fairytale romance..?

Back to Glasgow and some better weather.
Things here in the underworld are getting a little sticky.
Glasgow has always been known for it's "gangs" but of course these are just the footmen for the knights, lords, earls,dukes and kings behind them.
Sometimes a footman gets the better of himself and then things become somewhat hairy.
Jimmy, for it is he, many years ago did some odd things in Ireland, and to this day frequents a pub called the Crystal Bells on Glasgow's Gallowgate. It is entirely untrue to suggest it is an IRA drinking den.
Now Jimmy had a lady-love ( Senga - in case you don't know this is Agnes backwards. It's like houses and pubs that are called NIA ROO. This is OUR AIN backwards. Got that?)
Senga, like many a lass, had her head turned by the wealth and power of Sean, and dropped Jimmy for greener pastures.
But inside Senga's breast her attachment to Jimmy never left her, and after yet another enormous row, she dumped Sean.
Now Sean is one of the high ups in charge of various taxi firms in the town and connected to the Crystal Bells ( you need to keep up and make the connections yourself.)
Senga phones Jimmy, begs forgiveness, tells him she is finished with Sean, and can they meet - in another pub which shall remain nameless. Jimmy goes along, and he and Senga start chatting and canoodling - and then Sean walks in, alerted by just about everyone in Glasgow who he had told to let him know where Senga was.
Sean slaps Jimmy about the face a couple of times and tells him to leave Senga alone, or Sean will set about Jimmy in no uncertain terms. In order to save Jimmy from a worse fate, Senga tells him to go. Jimmy agrees, and goes to the loo to tidy up a bit.
Only he bursts out ten seconds later brandishing the knife he had down the inside of his sock, and stabs Sean 53 times, all the time shouting " Set aboot me? I'll show ya set aboot me, ya ***@@^!"
In the ensuing mayhem Jimmy escapes, leaving behind the knife sticking out of Sean.
When the police arrive,they are able to get half a dozen witnesses, DNA and fingerprints off the knife, and promptly put an APB arrest warrant for Jimmy.
That was six weeks ago. Jimmy discussed with his lawyer trying for self defence (even to lawyers and criminals with flexible minds, 53 stabs is a bit much for self defence - 8 or ten yes, but not 53...)but the lawyer said the best bet was to turn himself in.
Jimmy, of course, is heartbroken - not that he killed Sean but that Senga will now have nothing to do with him.
So the for the last 6 weeks he has been wandering around Glasgow from house to house as various relatives go away for a few days, but blind drunk most of the time.
It hasn't stopped him drinking in a large number of pubs causing problems,nor ending up in the Crystal Bells shouting he could batter any one present.
He even turned up at a police station one night when he had forgotten which house he was supposed to be hiding in and asked them to put him up for the night. As he was clearly totally drunk, the police refused to take him in,so he sat on the pavement outside and went to sleep - from which the police roused him about 7am.
But here's the thing - why are none of Sean's associates after Jimmy, and why are the police ( who would appear to be taking urgent and stringent steps to arrest him) not got him yet?
Could it be connected with various taxis being set alight in the night and the police being very grateful for Sean's death?
As Bubble would say in AbFab " Who can say..?"

Love in the time of Cholera

You may remember that I am involved in the domain name business, which has broadened my knowledge of human failings and quirks considerably.
One of the more annoying things are the emails from people saying they want a domain we own, but they have no money, and would we be really kind and just give it to them.Or say they used to own it and demand we give it back to them - again for free.I wonder if they would let me have their England fubaw shirt for free... no hang about, they well might.
Anyway, one of the things we do is dating sites - I know, tacky and sleazy - but there are something like 20 million ( yes that's MILLION) people registered with dating sites in the UK alone.
For some reason South Africa has not that many less, but of course the holy grail is North America, where there are well over 50 million men and women of every sexual orientation looking for the One - or even just a one-night stand.
In amongst these are the poor souls who have a serious problem, like an STD (HIV,herpes, aids etc).They have no fewer yearnings and needs than the rest of us, and of course there are actually quite a lot of them out there.
So it wasn't a total shock when I got a request to add to the dating sites we have one domain that has good traffic for related medication (might earn 50p per day) and
which,when translated into an STD dating site, appears to be earning USD 10-15 per day.
I do not in any way suggest, dear reader, that you have such a problem, but I can only say my eyes have been opened to another area where help is desperately needed.
Click here to find out more.
PS The title of this post refer to a rather good book by Gabriel García Márquez

A miss is as good as a mile

I'm seriously busy in Romania, catching up with all the stuff I should have done last time when a) the weather was bad and b)I spent a couple of days in bed.
It hasn't prevented everyone ( and I do mean everyone) laughing like drains at the England - USA fubaw match that ended in a draw, after one of the classic goalkeeping blunders by some overpaid stiff called Green.
I am,of course, not English, so the joke is even better as far as my Romanian friends are concerned.
I did hear a joke that superseded the match.
The new British Government is seriously worried that men's penises in the UK are becoming too small to perform properly.
As a result they have asked that every man with a penis of less than 3 inches in length display a white flag with a red cross on it either as a flag on their car or out of the windows of their houses.
If you've been in England recently you will know that there are literally millions of poor chaps in a dire state.
Can't say I've noticed any such flags in Scotland - or Wales for that matter.....

A Charitable weekend

To Corstorphine Fair on Saturday for the Gurkhas.
30,000 people attend this event which is in aid of local charities.We had a visit from mthe local MSP, the MEP, the ex-MP and the new MP, all of whom ( of course) wanted their pictures taken and to be associated with the Lumley Campaign.
I wouldn't mind so much, but not one of them put their hand in their pockets ( or handbag) to give us a donation.
Overall though, it was a good event, and apart from collecting money, we gave out lots of leaflets. In common with most military charities, our supporter's average age is increasing so we need some younger blood at the bottom end.
The preparations for Gurkha Highland 2010 proceed apace. There is no offical cap this year as we are trying to reduce the budget ( where have I heard that one before?) so I will be wearing my 2009 cap.
Or maybe the 2008 one.
On Sunday I helped out the Friends of Maxwell Park at the Ready Steady Grow event.
I really must start charging for my time...

Plus ca Change

I apologise for being away for so long, but I have had a great many problems to contend with - not least having to change my email which rendered this account inoperative for some time.
Romania finished off well apart from the weather that was poor for the time of year.
The wedding went well and instead of the bride being ransomed it ended up as the bridegroom ( Nicou) who was more than bemused with the whole thing. I managed to get candle wax and honey all down my jacket, so it is presently residing in the specialist cleaners.
In the meantime, I see we now have a coalition government. It remains to be seen whether it will be strong enough to force the banks to stop lending to it, and start lending to the poor benighted punters. I had a discussion with the regional director of RBS today, whose brief is:
1) Do not lend money on property
2) Where you have lent money in the past, claw it back
3) If you can't get it back, up the charges, margin and fees.
4) Er, that's it.
In effect, whereas bankers used to get bonusses for lending money,they are now getting bonuses for getting it back in. It will all end in tears, as all things with the banks do in time.
I am gearing up for Gurkha Highlander 2010, which is actually named "The Seven Sisters", the idea being to do 7 Munroes in 7 days. Fortunately, I am only driving again.
In the meantime, I was on the Somme again for a boy's outing, which was great fun, even if a bit chilly. It culminated in an excellent lunch on Sunday in Arras at a restaurant that had just opened two days earlier. The food was excellent as was the ambience - but we were somewhat surprised to discover that the Chef was from Swindon.
I sort of think the level of his food was a bit beyond the good people of Swindon...
As an aside, the spell check suggests " Swindlers" for Swindon...
The most extraordinary thing about the battlefields is that when the war ended there where literally thousands of square miles with nothing in them - just mud, holes,metal and bodies. These bodies keep appearing - we saw several new graves in some of the cemeteries with addenda in the registers. The thought at the time was that no one would ever live in the area again, but good land ( especially owned by a Frenchman) is precious, and the villages all grew up again quite quickly.
One of the more interesting things to do is visit a German Cemetery. There are very few as most bodies were taken back to Germany, but there are a few here and there.
Complete with Jewish headstones.
The thing is, the non-Jewish corpses have a simple black metal cross with the name, rank and job of the interee.
The Jewish ones were removed during WW2 and melted down to make bullets - so at least the Jews could be useful. The bodies were removed from their Aryan colleagues.
Now, the headstones have replaced the gaps and the bodies have been returned.
In Schlaflige Ruhe

Gie us Peace..

I couldn't stand it anymore - I had to get away from all the politics and everyone asking me questions about what I thought. Why don't they just do their own thinking?
Anyway, here I am back in Romania again, ready for another wedding ( although it will be dry as far as I am concerned)and to do lots of work ( hopefully). The flight from Luton to Sibiu on Blue Air went without a hitch, and the moment we got back to Sighisoara Alin whisked me off to talk to several groups of people about all sorts of things.
The last few days have largely been taken up with changing over my email address. Our techy Ms. Lear ( Now Mrs. Rock God) had set me up about 10 years ago on Handbag.com, which was ( is??) run by Boots for females. But it was dead easy and I could work it.Unfortunately, it moved to Tiscali some years ago and has never been that reliable. Now, they are closing the whole system as of June 3rd.
Of course, changing over the address book was easy ( especially as Mrs. Rock God actually did it for me ( Virtual Assistants are marvellous), but ploughing through the hundreds of saved and sent emails to see what I needed to keep has been much more onerous. I cannot for the life of me think why I have an email telling me all about prosthetic legs which I have carefully saved....
Sighisoara is looking lovely, as they have now finally finished redoing all the cobbles in the citadel, and they ahve added lots of uplighters to make it look very smart. As I returned from lunch about 9:30 this evening, there where a goodly number taking photos of how smart it was.
Alin has the bit between his teeth about taking a test drive in the new Dacia Duster - but he is very disappointed to hear that the 4 x 4 with aircon and leather seats is not the mere Eur 10,500 he thought it was. That's the basic model - no aircon, no 4 x 4 and naturally no leather seats. With everything it's about the same again...
The more interesting thing is the Dacia Logan we bought nearly 3 years ago for Eur 5,600 is still worth about Eur 3,500, so we have had all that motoring for about Eur 2000. I call that really good value.

The election that didn't elect.

This from a LibDem:
"It gives me absolutely no pleasure whatever to write this - I am a party member of the LibDems (or was until today - the chance of my renewing my membership has receded significantly if the party is unable to display any maturity and judgement)."
If you recall I long ago said the LibDems would do badly at this election ( actually worse than the outcome) and now I believe they will split again. We will return to effective 2 party system democracy at the next election, when the LibDems will be wiped out.

Back to the '70s

Niall Ferguson will be having an article in tomorrow's Spectator which has the following paragraph:
"The mess we are in is the result of 13 squandered years in which an unprincipled government frittered away the achievements of the Thatcher era. We are back not just in 1979, but in 1976, the last time the IMF had to bail Britain out as a consequence of Labour¹s economic mismanagement."
If anyone is in any doubt as to what this means, have a look at Greece today.
I may be eating my Romanian goats sooner than I thought...