As Reggie Perrin's boss CJ used to say " I didn't get where I am today by..." followed by a reasonably fatuous statement.
Well, I didn't get to be the cynical, bitter and twisted person I am today by thinking that anything ever works. I may have thought so once, but not any more.
So a couple of little stories. Mrs. Lear's accountant, filling in her tax return online some weeks ago, discovered there was no way to enter a minus figure. For anything. So a paper form has to be submitted. This then gets followed up by HMRC reducing Mrs. Lear's tax code from about 591 to 16, and when queried we are told - and I quote - " Oh there are thousands that have been sent out in error." I suspect this is probably millions.
When a friend was filling in his form - admittedly at the last minute - it wouldn't work. It kept asking ridiculous follow up questions " Are you a company director? Answer :yes. Up pops : "Put in your Teacher's pension number" I'm not joking. They have spent several billion on this IT system, especially to bring Revenue together with Customs. This particular bit of genius is a forgotten bit of Brown's idiocy which will eventually degrade tax and other levy gathering.
So you can see I have reason to be cynical.
Oh, and sending out all the wrong tax demands? Well that's quite sneaky. When the Pre-Budget report is done, the Treasury can say " X is the amount of tax we have to collect, so the borrowing requirement is Y." Unfortunately, X is complete rubbish, as HMRC makes such a hash of everything that X is probably nearer zero than even half X. So the next time round the borrowing requirement - surprise surprise - has risen. This is why the budget each year for the last 5 has had to admit that the borrowing requirement is higher than the one promulgated 4 months earlier.
So it is with great pleasure that I report on two things that happened this week which have restored my faith in whatever it is.
Firstly, Scottish Power - not noted for their efficiency - spoken to on Wednesday, appointment made for Thursday 10am, hole dug Thursday PM, connection installed by 11:30 Friday morning. Unheard of. I can only think they have nothing to do at the moment as there are little or no new buildings to install power into.
Secondly, my mobile died on Friday morning - not the phone bit, everything else, reducing me to a text that only fitted the outer screen, didn't store any of them, made no record of calls made etc etc. Disaster. Phone call to Orange. Diagnostic over the ether. New phone dispatched and told it would be with me Saturday morning by 10am.
Huge cynicism. Dispelled by ringing of door bell at 9:15am and delivery of new phone.
Now maybe both of these straws in the wind are down to the recession ( and believe me it is, and its still getting worse) with companies desperate to keep their clients.
If so, and to make sure opprobrium will be heaped on me from all angles, recession is a price worth paying to get service.
Of course, the difference is these are both private enterprise companies.
HMRC is not.
Glasgow based filthy property speculator with three daughters. Chess playing, food-loving, Francophile Cavalier King Charles lover with a heavy emphasis on doing as little as possible
Showing posts with label Service. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Service. Show all posts
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
True Freedom consists in Service* - part 1
What's the difference between service and non-service? You may think this is a strange question, but I assure you it may well be the difference between the UK going bust and making a go of it.
I needed someone in Scottish Power ( or whatever they are nowadays) to send a body out to look at a power cable head and the attendant meter.
I spoke to Scottish Power's main switchboard and was told I needed the reconnection section. I explained I doubted it.
I phoned the reconnection section. They said I needed to speak to customer services.
Customer services said I need emergency call out.
Emergency call out asked if I was a hospital or school, and when they heard I wasn't, said I should talk to new supply.
Sighing, I phoned new supply, who immediately told me I didn't want them I wanted the reconnection section.
I explained I had spoken to them and definitely didn't need reconnecting. So the lady said I should speak to Cardiff ( Cardiff!) and she put me through.
Cardiff wondered where the post code was - was it in Wales? Ah, Scotland, you want customer services in Scottish Power.
Thoroughly fed up, I retraced my steps to customer services and got a different lady, who put me through to reconnection ( again) but reconnection, when I explained I had already spoken to them, and what the problem was, said she had been told a completely different story, and couldn't help.
BUT - and here's the but - she said she would make enquiries and call me back.
By this stage I can only say my spirit was broken and simply getting off the phone made me inclined to thank her profusely. I'd spent more than 4 hours off and on by now.
I had no real faith I would ever hear from Heather again.
Lo and behold, about an hour later my phone rang and it was Heather. She had spoken to a supervisor in the survey section ( the one section no one had suggested) and if I would phone this number and ask for Archie he would see me right.
Wondrous tidings! Not only could Archie help, he would help to such an extent that he scheduled what I required immediately.
My point is this.
We are a services country. Only about 14% of our economy is made up by manufacturing. If we are going to persuade people to buy from us, they need to want to, and we need to give them the right answers to their questions to make them do so.
So well done Heather and Archie. My only question is, what are all the other sections I spoke to doing?
Not a lot by the sound of it.
* It's not a Shakespearean quote, it's the meaning of The Tempest - as long as you don't listen to American academics.
I needed someone in Scottish Power ( or whatever they are nowadays) to send a body out to look at a power cable head and the attendant meter.
I spoke to Scottish Power's main switchboard and was told I needed the reconnection section. I explained I doubted it.
I phoned the reconnection section. They said I needed to speak to customer services.
Customer services said I need emergency call out.
Emergency call out asked if I was a hospital or school, and when they heard I wasn't, said I should talk to new supply.
Sighing, I phoned new supply, who immediately told me I didn't want them I wanted the reconnection section.
I explained I had spoken to them and definitely didn't need reconnecting. So the lady said I should speak to Cardiff ( Cardiff!) and she put me through.
Cardiff wondered where the post code was - was it in Wales? Ah, Scotland, you want customer services in Scottish Power.
Thoroughly fed up, I retraced my steps to customer services and got a different lady, who put me through to reconnection ( again) but reconnection, when I explained I had already spoken to them, and what the problem was, said she had been told a completely different story, and couldn't help.
BUT - and here's the but - she said she would make enquiries and call me back.
By this stage I can only say my spirit was broken and simply getting off the phone made me inclined to thank her profusely. I'd spent more than 4 hours off and on by now.
I had no real faith I would ever hear from Heather again.
Lo and behold, about an hour later my phone rang and it was Heather. She had spoken to a supervisor in the survey section ( the one section no one had suggested) and if I would phone this number and ask for Archie he would see me right.
Wondrous tidings! Not only could Archie help, he would help to such an extent that he scheduled what I required immediately.
My point is this.
We are a services country. Only about 14% of our economy is made up by manufacturing. If we are going to persuade people to buy from us, they need to want to, and we need to give them the right answers to their questions to make them do so.
So well done Heather and Archie. My only question is, what are all the other sections I spoke to doing?
Not a lot by the sound of it.
* It's not a Shakespearean quote, it's the meaning of The Tempest - as long as you don't listen to American academics.
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