I've had a pleasant couple of days, if somewhat motorway centric, driving to Salisbury for a Gurkha Welfare Trust meeting.
I went with our new (Scottish Branch) Treasurer, who proved a delightful companion, and we managed to talk nearly the whole way there and back.
We were asked to put our expenses in in order to get a cheque before leaving, which we duly did.
As we had only had a couple of sandwiches and 2 coffees on the way down, it was deemed appropriate that we should receive simply double this paltry figure for sustenance.
I had intended to take our Treasurer to a London lap dancing club, eat at Mr. Chows and stay at the Ritz, but sadly it was not to be. Perhaps if our Chairman had been with us...
So with GBP 11.60 in hand, we got as far as Tebay before stopping.
Now you probably know that even the most unappetising plate in such places is GBP10, so the Treasurer - excellent chap that he is - said as I was the driver, he would have a packet of crisps.
But a solution was found - two bowls of soup, rolls and butter, juice and a yogurt came to GBP 10.56, leaving GBP 1.04.
The Treasurer, true to his excellent accountant's honesty, suggested we should send back this sum.
I, true to my spendthrift tendencies, bought a packet of crisps and blew the budget.
We had used the Tom Tom and ended up doing about 40 miles over some rather nice country roads.
When we were discussing this with one of the girls in Salisbury, she brought up the business of map reading. In descending order, the best map readers are supposed to be heterosexual males, followed by lesbians, gay men and heterosexual females bringing up the rear.
I know its incredibly non-pc, but we discussed why gay men should be worse than gay women, or straight men.
"Ah" said our hostess "They have difficulty keeping their hands pointing in the right direction."
So there you have it.