Techno-porn

In my new active lifestyle, I am meeting a completely new set of people - those who ride the buses for free.
Actually, thinking about it, although I am walking to and from work, I also spend time just hanging about waiting for buses - for perhaps just " my new lifestyle".
I am, however, beginning to get the hang of it. Some operators have an electronic reader that says if my pass is valid, others have a driver who doesn't even bother to look at it.
In the last two days I have been as far as Mauchline in Ayrshire ( bus immediately outside my office, change in Kilmarnock, total time 45 minutes as opposed to 35 by car) and into town ( identical to car time)
It's the people on the buses that I adore. I don't know if it's only in Glasgow, but everyone says thank you to the driver as they get off. Even the neds. I'm reminded of my since deceased Aunt who always insisted on thanking railway engine drivers.
Elderly people are helped by the younger, and if you have a lot of bags or luggage, you are liable to find someone helping you with them to your door. Mind you, I don't think any of the people I've travelled with have much else to do. I don't travel at rush hour, so I doubt that I have travelled with anyone who has actually paid for their ticket.
On one bus today, a pretty ropey looking bloke was sitting behind an elderly lady, and was fiddling with his mobile. He eventually extended his arm forward, urging the lady to look at his screen, as he leered over her shoulder.
" Aye very good" she said, pushing his hand away. Shortly thereafter she made her way to the front and spoke to the driver. She resumed her seat. The man repeated his showing of the mobile, and the lady nodded. The bus continued. After a few more stops, I noticed a couple of policeman standing at a corner. The bus stopped and the police got on - and promptly arrested the man and his mobile. The lady got off as well, but not before announcing to the bus:
" That's pure dead filth on tha' mobi".
My assumption is he was showing her pictures of him exposing himself on his phone.
At least it's warmer than opening your raincoat on a windy day....

Free Bus

Today was the day I finally tried out my OAP bus pass.
As it happens I wanted to go into Central Station to buy a rail ticket with my OAP railcard, and there is a bus right outside my office that goes straight to the station and then back again.
So a very green effort, and a very cost effective one too.
The only slight problem was I had the Dog with me today, and, as usual, I had no lead with me.
Not a problem.
The office string would do the trick.
So the Dog and I set off into town, and I flashed my card.
Kerching! Out comes a ticket saying something about OAPs and with £0.00p as the cost.
So far so good.
Except everybody who got on the bus asked about the Dog, who is admittedly most endearing, with a pretty wimpish look on his face.
The rail ticket having been secured ( London return via Edinburgh for a mere £42 - great value),
I made my way to the bus stop for the bus going in the opposite direction.
As I was standing on the corner, Dog on string, and looking pretty vacant, as I was unsure where the bus stop was, a man in a suit passed and pressed 20p. into my hand.
" No no," I said," I'm not in need," and offered him his money back.
He looked at me as if I had two heads. I've noticed people doing this more and more, and my conclusion is it's an age thing.
" Give it to the Dog then," he said as he marched away.
I don't think 20p. would be much use to him, so I pocketed the money and looked for a beggar to give it to.
They are like Policeman and Taxis - never one when you want one.
Anyway, I get back on the bus, and Kerching! again.
I was followed on by two more OAPs and an unemployed youth, who also got a free ride.
As I made my way to a seat, I overheard the bus driver muttering " Is no **** ever going to pay for using this bus?"
He has a point...