My car was in this morning for it's MOT ( you can tell I'm cheap just from that sentence).
However, whilst in the Peugeot dealer, their maintenance manager told me the following story.
He had gone to one of the major garage groups in Scotland to get a spare part for a Renault. He collected it and signed for it in the usual way.
" Here" said the stores manager " You're entitled to a scratch card"
"No thanks," said Willie, " I never bother with those things"
" Naw naw - here, you have to take it."
" I don't want it"
" Here, I'll scratch it for you."
" I'm not bothered"
scratch scratch scratch,
" Look, you've got a star. It means you've won a prize."
" What's the prize?"
Store man reaches under counter and produces a Mars bar.
Willie is astonished, and reaches for the bar.
" No you can't have it. It's only for members of the public." And the store man proceeds to eat the bar.
Through munching teeth he says " Actually all the bars are counted against the cards and I have to sign for them every day."
A property surveyor tells me he has taken to turning off the hot water each night when he leaves his office.
" Every mickle makes a muckle," as your granny almost certainly didn't say.