Gurkha Welfare Trust Curry Lunch

I was in Edinburgh today for the Curry lunch. For the first time in a long time we managed to get outside - normally the wind and rain is such that only a madman would venture out. Within 10 minutes the sun went and the rain returned - only to reverse itself about 20 minutes later, and thereafter at regular intervals.
I was in charge of the raffle, and I am pleased to say we raised more than had ever been raised before. The lunch was excellent. Last year, there were no poppadums - there had been at the Glasgow event and there was much acerbic comment. This year, in an effort to outdo Glasgow, Edinburgh laid on not only poppadums but PRAWN CRACKERS as well. These are not Nepali. People didn't bother with them. Much acerbic comment again. I think it has something to do with Edinburgh.
One of the lovely people there bewailed the fact that she found people in Edinburgh not particularly friendly. " If only the Glaswegians lived in Edinburgh. Then it would be a perfect City". But then, of course it would not be Edinburgh.
Our capital City suffers from the close Calvinism associated with John Knox. If you turn up to visit someone in Edinburgh at an appropriate time, you are not greeted with, " Come in come in. We're just making some tea." No. You get " Yer'll've had yer tea." The Glaswegians have shortened this to " Yer tea's oot". It's Parliamo Glasgow for " you're on a hiding to nothing."
The lunch, of course, was organised by the Army. Things go well when this is the case. The food is ready and out on time. Everyone gets a drink in double quick time. There are enough chairs to go round. The loos are clean and work. Anyway, you get the picture.
Except.... I learnt today that last year could have been very different. For some reason, noone had mentioned to the skeleton staff that we were coming. The entire battalion had gone off on manoeuvres. There was one corporal and his oppo. When the organising ex-Gurkha officer appeared at 11am, the heating hadn't been on for a week, the kitchens had had everything turned off, and the few chairs were stacked onto tables.
Undeterred, the corporal dug out some miscreants who were on jankers and by 12:15 the rooms were heating up, the place was polished, the chairs were out and the kitchen was ready for the food to arrive.
It was suggested that the miscreants should receive some mitigation for their crimes.
" Oh no sir," said the corporal. " Just doin' this was miti-bloody-gation enough"