Mrs. Lear has an electric finger.
I'm sure if she tried she could get sparks and lightning bolts to come out of it.
Her computer is continually having heart failure and her Internet connection - which is the same as mine - only works if I get her online first.
Her finger, however, has not precluded her from passing all her computer skills modules. It's taken some time, but she could now get a job.
Over the years, her finger has done amazing things to phones, mobile and fixed line, televisions, radios,electric blankets and photocopiers. This is not to mention the central heating and the lights in the house. The Bluetooth in her car is a martyr to shouted commands, with one particular gentleman having to answer his phone several times a day.
Last night she excelled herself. She was downstairs watching a programme. I was upstairs, waiting for it to finish, and as soon as it did I changed the channel on the bleepy to the programme I wanted.
All she had to do was switch off the downstairs telly.
You probably know that bleepys have a way of reminding you when there is a programme you want to watch.
Rather than the usual hiatus when one of the TVs is turned off, I saw onscreen firstly a reminder for a Dutch radio programme. Then a horror film. Then News at Ten. Then BBC News at Ten. In quick succession there were a further 4 programmes scattered about the universe.
The one thing I have learned in life is not to interfere with the upstairs bleepy when the downstairs one is in use. The last time we lost signal completely for a day whilst the Sky box people untangled their wires.
So I placidly let it be, and as each reminder came up over the next hour or so I simply deleted it.
Only to discover I was immediately taken to the reminder programme, and I couldn't then get back to the programme I was watching.
I do wish she would try the " SHAZZAAAM!" thing...