The one thing that came out of the wedding yesterday that was mildly amusing was the following story. If you are easily embarrassed,look away now.
O'Malley was a great maker of nails in Ireland, and the culmination of his art was the O'Malley 10 inch special ( that's 25 cms in case you don't know).
O'Malley reckoned it was a world beater, and decided to go all out with an advertising campaign.
The ad agency was chosen ( as these things in Ireland are over a pint or two of Guinness) and on the appointed day O'Malley was ushered into the screening room at the agency. Once he had a pint in his hand ( as did everyone else) the ad rolled.
A barren landscape unrolls, and the word " GOLGOTHA" fades in and then out. A Roman centurion is seen hammering nails, and the voice over says " He'll not get away, because I'm using O'Malley's 10 inch specials" and the tag line comes up. "O'Malley's make sure they can't get loose"
" JESUS H.CHRIST" shouts O'Malley, spilling his drink as he jumps to his feet." Are yez totally stupid? This'll get me excommunicated. Get that destroyed and go away and come back with something I can use in 24 hours."
24 hours later he filed back into the room, and even refused a drink ( it was that serious).
The clip rolled - same scene, same fade in and out. But in the distance there was a hairy chap running away for all he was worth, with blood streaming from his hands and feet.
And the voiceover said:
" Ah, to be sure, that wouldn't have happened if yer man had been using O'Malley's 10 inch specials...."
And the tag line came up: " With O'Malley's they don't get loose"