As She is spoke...

The Herald Diary, always one to keep you amused as one drinks one's first coffee in bed of a morning, referred to somebody as being " East Ham".
Londoners will realise this is one stop short of Barking.
It reminded me of a young man who mentioned that his trousers were Cowdenbeath. When I enquired, I was informed that Cowdenbeath had no ballroom - for the dancing.
And that's true, too