We have a friend staying who decided, after a year of not asking, that he would quite like to get back some of the money the British Government took from him. I refer, of course, to the dole, or, as we say not in Jockshire but in SCOTLAND - the Broo. This is lingua franca for The Bureau, short for the Employment Bureau, which is what everyone used to call the offices now called - who knows, but the place you go to sign on if you are out of a job.
He carefully phoned for an appointment, and was told there was a long waiting list. After some discussion - and reluctance on the part of the person supposed to give him some of his own money back - a date one week after the phone call, was agreed.
Because he decided to visit us, he phoned again to say he would be unable to come on the appointed date. More than a certain amount of belligerence was expressed, especially as he justified his non-appearance because he intended to look for a job in Glasgow.
" You'll need to bring proof, otherwise we can't help you" said the harridan. After some more fruitless discussion, my friend put the 'phone down, and rang back five minutes later.
" I want to apply for jobseekers allowance," he said, disguising his normal mellifluent tones with some difficulty. He says it was worse than Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
" There's a very long waiting list -have you applied before?"
"No" Sharp intake of breath at the other end of the phone.
" It'll be at least two or three weeks. What time could you come in?"
" What time do you open?" " 9am"
" That's fine I'll come in at 9am"
" Seriously? You could come in at 9am?" " Yes"
" Oh, well, you could come in any day you like - even tomorrow. Noone ever comes in before 11"
Now in theory, if you have to sign on, it appears you get a letter saying you have to be there for 9am. But noone ever is.
And these are people with no jobs and nothing to do. I hate to think when someone who actually did have something to do would turn up.
No comments:
Post a Comment