Down and Out on Stevenson Beach

As you know, Mrs. Lear is doing a course at Auchencruive in eco-land management.
Amongst other things, she and her group have to do a project and the choice fell to Stevenson Beach, which has been designated a Site of Special Interest. Of course, it isn't really as it's mostly used by quad bikers and drunks. The locals managed to get it made an SSI so they could ban the quad bikers - but a Scottish drunk is made of sterner stuff. There are always lots of empty cans and Eldorado and Lanliq bottles lying about.
So Mrs. Lear, dressed for the dreadful weather today including a beany hat, and her group were staggering about, and, as you do, she started collecting some of the empties to put them in in a bin. Her cohort fell over and she leaned over to give him a hand up.
" Are you all right down there?" said a very twee voice from above them. Looking up, there were two Ayrshire ladies with their smart dogs.
" Come away, Agnes, it's just a couple of drunks",
As they walked away, Mrs. Lear heard one say to the other "It's disgusting. That woman is pure dead drunk at 11 in the morning.. "
" Yes," says the other, "And just imagine what she's up to with that man."
" Quite dreadful.."