Sore Head

No not because I had too much to drink, but because I had a lump cut off the top.It was beautifully done by the extremely cultured and urbane Indian plastic surgeon who recently took away a couple of my moles. Having excised the lump,he then stapled the gash in what is being described as a work of art by those who have insisted on looking at it.
This is actually the third time I have had a lump removed from exactly the same area. My head looks as if it has been in a knife fight, but the lump keeps growing back.The first time it was done, my children ( quite small at the time) were in terrible tears about the blood oozing down the back of the chair I was sitting in later in the day. The second time the hospital it was done in went bust the next day and the liquidator tried to sue me, having already been paid out by the insurance company.
So this time, I very carefully spoke to the insurers, to the surgeon, to the hospital, and everything appeared to be going swimmingly. I should have known better.
The day before the op, I had a call from the hospital, informing me that NU had no record of anyone with my date of birth, nor any record of having been contacted. So I phoned and asked to speak to the person in the call centre I had spoken to previously. Shock horror, he no longer works there. Interestingly, although you get through to an Indian call centre, when it's a claim you get put back to the UK. At this point I had a small frisson, as the person I had spoken to could not find the name of the particular type of lump I was having removed, and had substituted another kind.
I had a note of this name ( take a tip: always write everything down when you talk to a call centre, and date and time - they record the conversations). So I asked if there was any record of such an operation being authorised at the time and place appointed.
" Oh yes, there is a chap here called Mr. X.Y due to have this operation. - but it's not you."
I asked how the operative knew this.
" Because the date of birth is different"
And what was the date of birth they had?
It turned out to be my wife's DOB. We are, admittedly, on the same policy.
I suppose I should have sent her to have the op.