Sunday, February 17, 2008

50 ways to leave your lover

I was listening to Paul Simon on the car radio and was taken by the general lack of mentioning that you were leaving.
" Just nip out the back, Jack, find a new man, Stan, don't need to discuss much... just set yourself free" .
I'm sure many people do just walk out, but there must be many more for whom the actual moment of leaving is utterly traumatic, drawn out, and possibly even violent.
We were out for dinner last night and were discussing how few people the assembled company knew in Scotland who had divorced - this was because one couple we know had recently split, and there is probably a divorce pending after 30 odd years of marriage.
I suppose it usually comes down to one final straw that breaks the proverbial camel's back.
A lady present ( who admitedly was on her second husband but then she is English) told us that she had left her first husband twice, only to be " sent back" by her mother. I suspect that's putting it a bit strongly, but she says that when she married, her husband wore boxer shorts.
After a few years of marriage, the pants reduced in size to y-fronts.
Later, they became the equivalent of speedos.
" But then," she said, " I was watching him dress one morning and saw him put on what I can only describe as a thong. I could never live with a man who wore such a thing. I packed a bag after he'd gone to work and left forever."
She did, admittedly, leave a note on the table.


Winchester whisperer said...

What about your vicarious romance? How was the Valentine dinner?

In Actual Fact said...

Is that what the song's about? I always mishear lyrics....

kinglear said...

ww. no word yet - my email may no longer be delivering - but I will let you know
Mr. Fact - really, that's as bad as the mashed banana song