What's your idea of decadence? Is it sipping champagne from a ladies slipper? Having naked young women peel you a grape?
Being a chap, I can only think that decadence involves nubile young ladies doing things for you ( in the spirit of peeling grapes, feeding you ortolan piece by piece and so on).
But what would a lady regard as decadent? I don't have a clue. I can only ever think of men "being" decadent. The girls are there to help him, not actually be decadent themselves.
Maybe it's a bit like the self-sacrifice thing. Some time ago, I postulated that there were no female equivalents in literature of Cyrano de Bergerac, who gave up everything so his love could have the dolt she wanted. I would happily stand to be corrected here, but please note I am NOT suggesting merely dying as an alternative.
The thought does strike me that it might be better to be the dolt.