I had lunch today..

.. in an establishment that I had no idea still existed.
I was in Wigan ( where?) for reasons which are far too boring to even consider, but was taken to lunch at what I can only describe as a Lancastrian roadhouse eatery.
I could describe it in less flattering terms, but this is a family blog.
Starters were orange or apple juice , or, to be fair, soup, but I wouldn't trust it.
On arriving at the carvery ( under the hot lights you know, and all dried out - in fact the cabbage had frizzled) I decided the least awful looking thing was a piece of pork - didn't appear to have a lot of crackling on it, but still. And at the other end of the array of garbage was some cranberry sauce. Strange I thought.
Anyway, the person supposed to carve was not available - so the receptionist said he would.
"I'll have the pork please."
" Don't 'ave no pork - it's lamb, fish or turkey."
Ah, that would explain the cranberry sauce.
Carve is to use too polite a term for what he then did .He hacked it, as it was so dry.
I can't describe how bad it was.
I was ashamed to find that such places could still exist in the UK.