As I become 60 on Sptember 3rd, I have been sent a form to fill in to collect £125 or £250 depending on my circumstances.
Now a few things come to mind as I check this form.
Nowhere does it say what the circumstances have to be to get one or the other sum of money.
It clearly has my birth-date, my NI number ( I always think of it as National HEALTH Insurance - but then I'm old) my address and my full name on the form. The accompanying leaflet tells me a) my Date of Birth is unchecked and b) my NI number is unverified as well.
Now if that's the case, how could they send me the form in the first place?
I have to send them my ORIGINAL birth certificate. This ignores the fact that all this information is actually stored by the Government both in the NI computers and the Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages computers and ledgers.
So instead of a couple of clicks on a computer, a complete industry/department has been set up to receive bits of paper, look at them, put some ticks on another bit of paper, initial it, and then post the original bits of paper back to me.
I mean, really.
PS I was collecting a cheque last night for the Gurkha Welfare Trust from a Rotary Club in Renfrew. I know these people are not left-leaners in any way, but I was staggered at the vitriol and hate that emerged about Labour, Gordon Brown and the Government in Westminster in general.
These are the people who should want to keep the Union, and who probably voted for Tony Blair.
They no longer want the Union nor anything to do with Labour.
Just shows how good a leader Brown has been.
I think "has been" is the appropriate expression.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
More on the Real Economy
Some little ******* stuck a nail in one of my tyres this morning, so off to get it fixed.
I was the only person in what is normally a very busy tyre place. The boss-man told me that it's been the same since about the end of January. People are using their cars less and driving slower, hence not needing so many tyres. He bought a new car in January when it cost him £58 to fill up. Now it costs £74. His mate owns a petrol station and he's down about 20% from last year in throughput, although his cashflow is well up.
The most interesting bit was the cost of filling his petrol tank. That is clearly a statistic that people latch on to ( viz. the publican in Cheshire recently) and certainly I've noticed the same thing.
We're heading for a serious downturn.
I was the only person in what is normally a very busy tyre place. The boss-man told me that it's been the same since about the end of January. People are using their cars less and driving slower, hence not needing so many tyres. He bought a new car in January when it cost him £58 to fill up. Now it costs £74. His mate owns a petrol station and he's down about 20% from last year in throughput, although his cashflow is well up.
The most interesting bit was the cost of filling his petrol tank. That is clearly a statistic that people latch on to ( viz. the publican in Cheshire recently) and certainly I've noticed the same thing.
We're heading for a serious downturn.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Death comes unexpectedly
I've always liked that quote from Karl Malden in Polyanna. It seems to me to encapsulate the human condition. Doctors have told me that dead people frequently have a surprised look on their faces, even if they have been ill for some time.
Except that people seem to be aware when it is near for them.
The other day a friend was telling me about his mother, who, well in her 90s, still spent a lot of time checking her bank balances, even though she could hardly move. She hated being deaf and less than able. Conversation became difficult.
And yet she clung on.
My friend was slightly surprised when she was finally taken to hospital and diagnosed with a blood clot. She died quite quickly thereafter.
My friend had been in a very difficult situation for many years, but finally, recently, the position had resolved itself, both in his own mind and in fact.
I would maintain that the old lady kept going until she knew my friend was settled and that everything would be all right. Although he had never spoken to her about it, I would suggest his demeanour told her everything she needed to know.
RIP
Except that people seem to be aware when it is near for them.
The other day a friend was telling me about his mother, who, well in her 90s, still spent a lot of time checking her bank balances, even though she could hardly move. She hated being deaf and less than able. Conversation became difficult.
And yet she clung on.
My friend was slightly surprised when she was finally taken to hospital and diagnosed with a blood clot. She died quite quickly thereafter.
My friend had been in a very difficult situation for many years, but finally, recently, the position had resolved itself, both in his own mind and in fact.
I would maintain that the old lady kept going until she knew my friend was settled and that everything would be all right. Although he had never spoken to her about it, I would suggest his demeanour told her everything she needed to know.
RIP
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Lonesomeness.com
I have been doing some work on domain names today.
One of the domains we own is Lonesomeness.com. For a variety of reasons I have been changing some of the servers over, from one monetizer to another. When you add a domain, a suggested category comes up.
When I typed in lonesomeness.com, the suggested category was " Diseases"
I'd never really thought of it like that.
The really great thing about it is it isn't catching.
One of the domains we own is Lonesomeness.com. For a variety of reasons I have been changing some of the servers over, from one monetizer to another. When you add a domain, a suggested category comes up.
When I typed in lonesomeness.com, the suggested category was " Diseases"
I'd never really thought of it like that.
The really great thing about it is it isn't catching.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Night Rider
For a variety of reasons ( mainly available dates and my perennial meanness) I have spent most of a couple of nights in airports and train stations over the last ten days or so.
I'm actually thinking of writing a book about it - I found it fascinating.
The first one was in Stansted, when a late flight from Prestwick gave me a three hour wait for check in to open to Pisa. You might ask why Pisa as I've been in Romania. Suffice it to say there is a direct flight from Bergamo ( 4 hours away) direct to Cluj in Transylvania. Yes, quite.
Anyway, there I was having a cup of coffee at 1am, doing my emails, and all around me were literally hundreds of other people doing exactly the same thing. I know Stansted is a busy airport, but it appears that it is almost impossible to get there for check-in for their 05:30 and 06:00 departures. So lots of people, reliant on public transport, take the last train out and then just sit there.
There is the endless whine of the floor cleaning machine, expertly zig-zagged through recumbent figures. All the cleaners seemed to be speaking Romanian or Polish. There was one Brit in overall charge, who could only speak to the two groups via the self-appointed leader of each nationality. And they all spent most of the time on their mobile phones. Whether any actual instructions were delivered or received is, I would suggest, entirely open to debate.
Coming back, I ended up in Liverpool airport until about 2am, where I was accosted for money every few minutes. But I did meet an extremely helpful Arriva Bus man, who told me where to go to get some sleep and even where to get the bus to take me near to Lime Street Station.
Only it didn't go near the station. The driver took me TO the station. It was like having a rather large private taxi, and half way there the driver stopped to pick up his mate who was going somewhere else.
Once at the station, it emerged it didn't open for another half hour, but the head cleaner ( no Poles here, only Scousers - presumably they worked for even less than the Poles) took me across the road to a 24 hour cafe for taxi drivers. We spent the half hour eating the most delicious bacon and tomato sandwiches and drinking freshly brewed Cona coffee, and chatting of this and that. There was a riotous card school in one corner, and memorabilia of both Everton and Liverpool on the walls. We sauntered back to the station, where he let me in ten minutes early, let me into the loo for free, and made sure I got on the right train.
Which went to Manchester, where I had to change to get the train to Glasgow.
Now Manchester Piccadilly was seriously jolly. It was literally crammed with young people all in party gear waiting for the first trains to take them home to bed. They rode up and down the escalators whilst the staff looked on benevolently, until one young man fell over trying to run up a down escalator.
" Now now," said the watcher," You'll hurt yourself doing that". Which indeed he had as he was out cold - not from concussion but from alcohol.
" We just put them in the waiting room to sober up, " the watcher confided, as he and his mate dragged the now-snoring young man along. They opened the door to the waiting room, and dragged him into the middle of the floor where there were about another 30 assorted snoring males and females.
" Do you ever get any trouble? " I asked.
" Nah, " said his mate. " They're well beyond causing any problems by the time they get here. We sometimes have to throw water on them to wake them up before 6 as that's when the coppers come on duty, but other than that, not much to bother about."
I finally got onto the Glasgow train just after 4 and was able to sleep most of the way north - except when the " Train Manager" changed at Carlisle and woke everyone up, telling us so.
I rather liked the Virgin description of Glasgow as a place to visit.
"Follow the banks of the river as it winds through the city, and take a summer walk to Ibrox."
Ibrox is where Rangers play.
They are known as the Huns.
And behave rather like them during WWII.
I'm actually thinking of writing a book about it - I found it fascinating.
The first one was in Stansted, when a late flight from Prestwick gave me a three hour wait for check in to open to Pisa. You might ask why Pisa as I've been in Romania. Suffice it to say there is a direct flight from Bergamo ( 4 hours away) direct to Cluj in Transylvania. Yes, quite.
Anyway, there I was having a cup of coffee at 1am, doing my emails, and all around me were literally hundreds of other people doing exactly the same thing. I know Stansted is a busy airport, but it appears that it is almost impossible to get there for check-in for their 05:30 and 06:00 departures. So lots of people, reliant on public transport, take the last train out and then just sit there.
There is the endless whine of the floor cleaning machine, expertly zig-zagged through recumbent figures. All the cleaners seemed to be speaking Romanian or Polish. There was one Brit in overall charge, who could only speak to the two groups via the self-appointed leader of each nationality. And they all spent most of the time on their mobile phones. Whether any actual instructions were delivered or received is, I would suggest, entirely open to debate.
Coming back, I ended up in Liverpool airport until about 2am, where I was accosted for money every few minutes. But I did meet an extremely helpful Arriva Bus man, who told me where to go to get some sleep and even where to get the bus to take me near to Lime Street Station.
Only it didn't go near the station. The driver took me TO the station. It was like having a rather large private taxi, and half way there the driver stopped to pick up his mate who was going somewhere else.
Once at the station, it emerged it didn't open for another half hour, but the head cleaner ( no Poles here, only Scousers - presumably they worked for even less than the Poles) took me across the road to a 24 hour cafe for taxi drivers. We spent the half hour eating the most delicious bacon and tomato sandwiches and drinking freshly brewed Cona coffee, and chatting of this and that. There was a riotous card school in one corner, and memorabilia of both Everton and Liverpool on the walls. We sauntered back to the station, where he let me in ten minutes early, let me into the loo for free, and made sure I got on the right train.
Which went to Manchester, where I had to change to get the train to Glasgow.
Now Manchester Piccadilly was seriously jolly. It was literally crammed with young people all in party gear waiting for the first trains to take them home to bed. They rode up and down the escalators whilst the staff looked on benevolently, until one young man fell over trying to run up a down escalator.
" Now now," said the watcher," You'll hurt yourself doing that". Which indeed he had as he was out cold - not from concussion but from alcohol.
" We just put them in the waiting room to sober up, " the watcher confided, as he and his mate dragged the now-snoring young man along. They opened the door to the waiting room, and dragged him into the middle of the floor where there were about another 30 assorted snoring males and females.
" Do you ever get any trouble? " I asked.
" Nah, " said his mate. " They're well beyond causing any problems by the time they get here. We sometimes have to throw water on them to wake them up before 6 as that's when the coppers come on duty, but other than that, not much to bother about."
I finally got onto the Glasgow train just after 4 and was able to sleep most of the way north - except when the " Train Manager" changed at Carlisle and woke everyone up, telling us so.
I rather liked the Virgin description of Glasgow as a place to visit.
"Follow the banks of the river as it winds through the city, and take a summer walk to Ibrox."
Ibrox is where Rangers play.
They are known as the Huns.
And behave rather like them during WWII.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The Flower Ladies of Sighisoara
Now here's a nice little story.
Over the last few months I have noticed an increase in little old ladies selling a few bunches of flowers around town. You may recall the basket of violets I bought some months ago and handed round to various people.
Anyway, whilst waiting for Alin today sitting in the medieval square, one little old lady was doing her trade. I hadn't watched any of them before.
People were coming up to her and taking pictures. She put on the sweetest, slightly sad smile, proferring a bunch of mixed wild flowers. Everyone refused them ( of course, they are tourists, what are they going to do with them?) but handed her a small note or a few coins.
Now you may recall that the basket of flowers I bought cost about GBP1. Well, within about 10 minutes, this lady today had been given about GBP6.
Not long afterwards, another little old lady came along and took about half the money away.
I was fascinated, and when Alin arrived, we went over to the flower lady and asked her about her trade.
Naturally cagey ( we could have been tax inspectors I suppose) she admitted that all the ladies were employed by one old lady who effectively controlled the pitches. Half of everything they earned went to this higher up lady, who provided them all with the few flowers they had.
It then dawned on me that of course their business was not selling flowers - it was having their pictures taken. When I put this to her, the lady admitted that on a good day she could earn in total about GBP50 - ie GBP25 to herself. This is the equivalent a week's wages. She also told me the boss lady had started about 4 years ago just herself, and had now built up her business to control 30 little old flower ladies. She had to pay for their licences and pitches to the City Hall, but, naturally, noone else would be allowed a look in as she made healthy contributions to the Mayor's reelection fund.
The nicest part about it was that aspiring employees had to pass a smile test - if it wasn't sweet enough, or sad enough, they didn't get taken on.
Lovely.
Over the last few months I have noticed an increase in little old ladies selling a few bunches of flowers around town. You may recall the basket of violets I bought some months ago and handed round to various people.
Anyway, whilst waiting for Alin today sitting in the medieval square, one little old lady was doing her trade. I hadn't watched any of them before.
People were coming up to her and taking pictures. She put on the sweetest, slightly sad smile, proferring a bunch of mixed wild flowers. Everyone refused them ( of course, they are tourists, what are they going to do with them?) but handed her a small note or a few coins.
Now you may recall that the basket of flowers I bought cost about GBP1. Well, within about 10 minutes, this lady today had been given about GBP6.
Not long afterwards, another little old lady came along and took about half the money away.
I was fascinated, and when Alin arrived, we went over to the flower lady and asked her about her trade.
Naturally cagey ( we could have been tax inspectors I suppose) she admitted that all the ladies were employed by one old lady who effectively controlled the pitches. Half of everything they earned went to this higher up lady, who provided them all with the few flowers they had.
It then dawned on me that of course their business was not selling flowers - it was having their pictures taken. When I put this to her, the lady admitted that on a good day she could earn in total about GBP50 - ie GBP25 to herself. This is the equivalent a week's wages. She also told me the boss lady had started about 4 years ago just herself, and had now built up her business to control 30 little old flower ladies. She had to pay for their licences and pitches to the City Hall, but, naturally, noone else would be allowed a look in as she made healthy contributions to the Mayor's reelection fund.
The nicest part about it was that aspiring employees had to pass a smile test - if it wasn't sweet enough, or sad enough, they didn't get taken on.
Lovely.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Hard work
It's been hard work today getting anyone to talk of anything other than the crucial Romania -Holland match tonight, along-side the equally critical Italy-France.
Romanians, perhaps for the first time ever, are united in their support for something.
They are not confident, but they are determined they will all be watching and shrieking at the top of their voices. There are lots of different parties on the go, and I've been invited to the one at the "Rustic" ( pronounced "roostick") in Sighisoara. It's where I eat the schnitzel & farmer's potatotes, absolutely delicious.
This being Romania, you can't get into any of these parties unless you have a connection. Mine is with the owner of the main hotel here who stood for Mayor of Sighisoara recently, and came last. You might think that isn't too impressive, until you know that this is very much a "pay your dues" society. There were six candidates. The incumbent mayor won in the second round for his second term. Next time, he will have to stand down to let the runner-up this time win. So in 8 years time, my friend will be the runner up and 4 years after that he will get to be mayor and recoup all the money it will have cost him. You might wonder about the arithmetic of this, but believe me, this is what is going to happen. Anyway Adi also owns the Rustic, and has closed it for his friends tonight.
Why am I not with the Mayor of Mosna, I hear you ask.
Yesterday was the LAG meeting, followed by the official Mayoral inauguration dinner.
I think the best thing is to pull a veil over it. The City Hall this morning was shut, and, although I saw the Mayor, he assured me he had eaten a bad sarmale and was going home.
What of the potential results tonight?
The lady who sells me the morning Fornetti ( sort of mini sausage-rolls, but with cheese in them) has had hundreds of people telling her the results. So she has taken the average.
Holand 3 Romania 1. Italy 2 France 1.
You heard it here first.
Romanians, perhaps for the first time ever, are united in their support for something.
They are not confident, but they are determined they will all be watching and shrieking at the top of their voices. There are lots of different parties on the go, and I've been invited to the one at the "Rustic" ( pronounced "roostick") in Sighisoara. It's where I eat the schnitzel & farmer's potatotes, absolutely delicious.
This being Romania, you can't get into any of these parties unless you have a connection. Mine is with the owner of the main hotel here who stood for Mayor of Sighisoara recently, and came last. You might think that isn't too impressive, until you know that this is very much a "pay your dues" society. There were six candidates. The incumbent mayor won in the second round for his second term. Next time, he will have to stand down to let the runner-up this time win. So in 8 years time, my friend will be the runner up and 4 years after that he will get to be mayor and recoup all the money it will have cost him. You might wonder about the arithmetic of this, but believe me, this is what is going to happen. Anyway Adi also owns the Rustic, and has closed it for his friends tonight.
Why am I not with the Mayor of Mosna, I hear you ask.
Yesterday was the LAG meeting, followed by the official Mayoral inauguration dinner.
I think the best thing is to pull a veil over it. The City Hall this morning was shut, and, although I saw the Mayor, he assured me he had eaten a bad sarmale and was going home.
What of the potential results tonight?
The lady who sells me the morning Fornetti ( sort of mini sausage-rolls, but with cheese in them) has had hundreds of people telling her the results. So she has taken the average.
Holand 3 Romania 1. Italy 2 France 1.
You heard it here first.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
The Mayor's Barbeque
I can't remember if I mentioned that there have been elections in Romania for all local & regional council posts and councils.
The Mayor of Mosna was returned with95% of the votes cast.
He held a barbeque to celebrate and invited many friends and supporters, which, I'm delighted to say, included me.There was of course lots of delicious food ( a whole pig, a whole sheep, a whole cow for starters) as well as the usual cabbage salad, tomatoes and chips, fried in olive oil over a huge fire-pit.
The drink was wine, tuika ( a sort of lethal Romanian whisky - it never gets aged more than about 3 weeks) champagne ( a gift from the mayor of the twin town in Germany) and liqura di padura, a sort of fruit liquor which everyone says is very non-alcoholic, until you find out the basic recipe is to start with 50 litres of neat alcohol....
Anyway, as you can imagine it was all great fun, and anyone is invited - his opponents as well.
The Mayor gave me some of his election literature, which showed him and his slogan " Man of deeds not words" and on the back seven concrete policies ( not aspirations or waffle)
Afterwards I was invited back to his house for a coffee, and I was saying that I was impressed with his policies.
His wife disappeared for a moment and came back with two other flyers.
The first was from 8 years ago when he first stood for mayor. The flyer showed a younger mayor, but the same slogan. On the back were seven concrete policies ( things like central heating for the school, not targets which can be manipulated)
The second was from four years ago. Same thing, but on the back were 7 new policies, and the list of the previous 7. Beside each was one word. "Delivered".
I asked him why he didn't have the delivered message on this year's flyer.
" Obvious" he said." Everyone knows now what I say I do. I don't need to make the point any more. So the people know they will get the new sewage system I have been working on for 5 years within the next 4."
God I wish we could have politicians like that.
The Mayor of Mosna was returned with95% of the votes cast.
He held a barbeque to celebrate and invited many friends and supporters, which, I'm delighted to say, included me.There was of course lots of delicious food ( a whole pig, a whole sheep, a whole cow for starters) as well as the usual cabbage salad, tomatoes and chips, fried in olive oil over a huge fire-pit.
The drink was wine, tuika ( a sort of lethal Romanian whisky - it never gets aged more than about 3 weeks) champagne ( a gift from the mayor of the twin town in Germany) and liqura di padura, a sort of fruit liquor which everyone says is very non-alcoholic, until you find out the basic recipe is to start with 50 litres of neat alcohol....
Anyway, as you can imagine it was all great fun, and anyone is invited - his opponents as well.
The Mayor gave me some of his election literature, which showed him and his slogan " Man of deeds not words" and on the back seven concrete policies ( not aspirations or waffle)
Afterwards I was invited back to his house for a coffee, and I was saying that I was impressed with his policies.
His wife disappeared for a moment and came back with two other flyers.
The first was from 8 years ago when he first stood for mayor. The flyer showed a younger mayor, but the same slogan. On the back were seven concrete policies ( things like central heating for the school, not targets which can be manipulated)
The second was from four years ago. Same thing, but on the back were 7 new policies, and the list of the previous 7. Beside each was one word. "Delivered".
I asked him why he didn't have the delivered message on this year's flyer.
" Obvious" he said." Everyone knows now what I say I do. I don't need to make the point any more. So the people know they will get the new sewage system I have been working on for 5 years within the next 4."
God I wish we could have politicians like that.
42 revisited
I'm in Romania and have been exceptionally busy the last few days, so have had little or no time to keep up with the news. After all, its wind-down time in the UK, summers here...
And then David Davis blows everything out of the water.
In a way, my previous post referred to the mood of the country being anti-spin and anti-waffle. We want detail, we want clarity and we want principle.
DD couldn't have qualified any better if he had tried. It's an extraordinary act, one which, should DC stumble, will win him the leadership. I cannot see the campaign being anything other than a huge success, but then, you never know.
What it really has done has made the pundits in the papers look stupid - already.
DD was doing something insane, the Tories were going to be ripped apart etc etc - except " the People" don't seem to see it like that.
They appear to be saying - it's time we had principle again. And if this is what we can expect from the Tories then we will be with them.
After the wonderful Irish "No" vote, Gordon Brown's refusal of a referendum is not only visible for what it is ( he knows it would be lost) but also as yet another mendacious political trick, one which will rebound on Labour when it next issues a manifesto.
DD is asking for no more than GBP100 per person to donate on line. I personally will be donating. I hope everyone who would like to see the end of spin and believes in principle will do the same.
And then David Davis blows everything out of the water.
In a way, my previous post referred to the mood of the country being anti-spin and anti-waffle. We want detail, we want clarity and we want principle.
DD couldn't have qualified any better if he had tried. It's an extraordinary act, one which, should DC stumble, will win him the leadership. I cannot see the campaign being anything other than a huge success, but then, you never know.
What it really has done has made the pundits in the papers look stupid - already.
DD was doing something insane, the Tories were going to be ripped apart etc etc - except " the People" don't seem to see it like that.
They appear to be saying - it's time we had principle again. And if this is what we can expect from the Tories then we will be with them.
After the wonderful Irish "No" vote, Gordon Brown's refusal of a referendum is not only visible for what it is ( he knows it would be lost) but also as yet another mendacious political trick, one which will rebound on Labour when it next issues a manifesto.
DD is asking for no more than GBP100 per person to donate on line. I personally will be donating. I hope everyone who would like to see the end of spin and believes in principle will do the same.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
42
In case you missed it, Andrew Marr this morning asked Jacqui Smith ( she of the Home Secretarial persuasion) " How did you fix on 42 days?"
She waffled on for a bit, but entirely missed the point. As readers of HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy will know, 42 is the answer to everything. You just have to figure out what the question is.
But the interesting thing was the the Government spin machine had it that " Jacqui" ( who spells like that?) had done a wonderful job of bringing the Labour rebels to heel.
Only it now appears this isn't true.
Mrs. Thatcher was at her son's party the other evening and was talking about the present mood in the country.
" Oh, yes. I sense the people no longer want spin. Politicians are going to have to get into extreme detail to carry people with them on matters."
She has more understanding even now of " the people" that Gordon Brown has of his chewed finger nails.
She waffled on for a bit, but entirely missed the point. As readers of HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy will know, 42 is the answer to everything. You just have to figure out what the question is.
But the interesting thing was the the Government spin machine had it that " Jacqui" ( who spells like that?) had done a wonderful job of bringing the Labour rebels to heel.
Only it now appears this isn't true.
Mrs. Thatcher was at her son's party the other evening and was talking about the present mood in the country.
" Oh, yes. I sense the people no longer want spin. Politicians are going to have to get into extreme detail to carry people with them on matters."
She has more understanding even now of " the people" that Gordon Brown has of his chewed finger nails.
Friday night
Mrs. Lear and I together with two friends went to the new " happening"/ " show" at SWG3 which was fine if a little strange. I fully accept I am the wrong age.
Whilst wandering about and looking at a number of different things, I chanced across some photographs which had been taken inside Glasgow City Chambers. The building itself is magnificent inside, especially the entrance hall and staircase, which had been used as the backdrop for the photos. There were various outlandish females draped around the place , but I was studying the background and the excellent photographic work that had gone into the photographs themselves.
" Ah" said a chap who sidled up to me " Admiring the divine ChengWa I see."
" No, actually I'm admiring the City Halls."
" Ah. You are clearly elegantly aged."
The emphasis was on the "ag-ed"
Whilst wandering about and looking at a number of different things, I chanced across some photographs which had been taken inside Glasgow City Chambers. The building itself is magnificent inside, especially the entrance hall and staircase, which had been used as the backdrop for the photos. There were various outlandish females draped around the place , but I was studying the background and the excellent photographic work that had gone into the photographs themselves.
" Ah" said a chap who sidled up to me " Admiring the divine ChengWa I see."
" No, actually I'm admiring the City Halls."
" Ah. You are clearly elegantly aged."
The emphasis was on the "ag-ed"
Thursday, June 05, 2008
The REAL economy
Just back from Birmingham, where all the hotels are full of people on life awareness courses. Sigh. That's going to keep the Chinese and the Indians at bay.
Anyway, on my way back up, I stopped off at a pub in Cheshire somewhere. More a gastropub with a restaurant, and I was there at about 1:30. I was the only person there.
When I asked the barman why it was so quiet ( I had seen several others shuts round about) he said it had been like this since just after New Year. They were all right as they had quite a good trade at the weekends, but 7 or 8 other pubs in the area had closed. They used to have a weekly lunchtime trade ( not great but enough to pay for itself and contribute a bit towards the bottom line) but that was all gone.
" There's no money around, of course. It used to cost me £70 to fill up my car last November. It's now £92."
There you have it.
Anyway, on my way back up, I stopped off at a pub in Cheshire somewhere. More a gastropub with a restaurant, and I was there at about 1:30. I was the only person there.
When I asked the barman why it was so quiet ( I had seen several others shuts round about) he said it had been like this since just after New Year. They were all right as they had quite a good trade at the weekends, but 7 or 8 other pubs in the area had closed. They used to have a weekly lunchtime trade ( not great but enough to pay for itself and contribute a bit towards the bottom line) but that was all gone.
" There's no money around, of course. It used to cost me £70 to fill up my car last November. It's now £92."
There you have it.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Banking
I was talking to a private banking team today.
The senior man said " I'm sorry can I pass you on to my number 2 - I've got lots of my accounts overdrawn today and I need to start phoning round."
Just bear in mind to get this private banker you have to be earning at least £100,000 pa or have assets ( not including your house) well in excess of £500,000. So lots of " rich" people are already in trouble on the third day of the month.
The number two - who sounded very cheerful - seemed to be speaking with exclamation marks at the end of each sentence " Hello! How nice to speak to you!...YES! I'll do that right away!!" I remarked that she seemed very cheerful, she laughed." Ha ha! It's more like hysteria!"
So you have been warned.
The senior man said " I'm sorry can I pass you on to my number 2 - I've got lots of my accounts overdrawn today and I need to start phoning round."
Just bear in mind to get this private banker you have to be earning at least £100,000 pa or have assets ( not including your house) well in excess of £500,000. So lots of " rich" people are already in trouble on the third day of the month.
The number two - who sounded very cheerful - seemed to be speaking with exclamation marks at the end of each sentence " Hello! How nice to speak to you!...YES! I'll do that right away!!" I remarked that she seemed very cheerful, she laughed." Ha ha! It's more like hysteria!"
So you have been warned.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Leadership & Gordon Brown
Todays report that GB will NOT be facing his critics regarding the 42 day detention debacle only underlines his lack of leadership ( and, coincidentally, anything smacking of courage)
I was reading an article in The Marketer about leadership.
DOs:
Be approachable. Be seen as part of a team.
Allow for autonomy. Set objectives, let your people get on with achieving them.
Constantly develop yourself, and make sure you are responsible for developing other leaders.
Use coaching so people take responsibility for their own problems, freeing your time to lead.
Set the tone. Attitudes are infectious.
Stimulate debate and new ideas.
I think we can all agree he fails miserably on every one of these points. I particularly agree with "Set the tone". Brown's is uniformly grim.
DON'TS
Don't dither. The best leaders are decisive.
Don't forget to be adaptable. New challenges may mean different thinking.
Don't forget you can delegate responsibility, but not overall accountability.
Don't be afraid to admit you don't like leading.Promoting bad leaders can be disastrous for business.
And for political parties too.
I was reading an article in The Marketer about leadership.
DOs:
Be approachable. Be seen as part of a team.
Allow for autonomy. Set objectives, let your people get on with achieving them.
Constantly develop yourself, and make sure you are responsible for developing other leaders.
Use coaching so people take responsibility for their own problems, freeing your time to lead.
Set the tone. Attitudes are infectious.
Stimulate debate and new ideas.
I think we can all agree he fails miserably on every one of these points. I particularly agree with "Set the tone". Brown's is uniformly grim.
DON'TS
Don't dither. The best leaders are decisive.
Don't forget to be adaptable. New challenges may mean different thinking.
Don't forget you can delegate responsibility, but not overall accountability.
Don't be afraid to admit you don't like leading.Promoting bad leaders can be disastrous for business.
And for political parties too.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Virtual Assistant
I've begun using a Virtual Assistant.
It's cheap, reliable and you don't have to bother about it being ill, pregnant, hungover or stroppy.
I thoroughly recommend it.
It's cheap, reliable and you don't have to bother about it being ill, pregnant, hungover or stroppy.
I thoroughly recommend it.
Manners
Mrs. Lear was much exercised this morning.
Two mothers of newly born babies had not replied with a thank you letter ( or a text or an email) for the gifts that had been sent.
One is the wife of her godson.
The other the daughter of one of her best friends.
I'm old fashioned, but a written thank you letter still brings pleasure to many people - especially we nearly-pensioners.
Of course,people are much more ungrateful nowadays for things than they used to be. We were with some friends recently whose daughter had received gifts for the birth of her son.
She took them all back and changed them.
Still, manners maketh man.
And in this case, might end up getting you written back into the will.
Two mothers of newly born babies had not replied with a thank you letter ( or a text or an email) for the gifts that had been sent.
One is the wife of her godson.
The other the daughter of one of her best friends.
I'm old fashioned, but a written thank you letter still brings pleasure to many people - especially we nearly-pensioners.
Of course,people are much more ungrateful nowadays for things than they used to be. We were with some friends recently whose daughter had received gifts for the birth of her son.
She took them all back and changed them.
Still, manners maketh man.
And in this case, might end up getting you written back into the will.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Times are tough
Mrs. Lear was going to a function last night. She left the house to meet up with her friend on the corner of the road.
Her friend phoned me and asked if Mrs. Lear was wearing her pink shoes. I said I had no idea.
Her friend then said. " Well we're going to be standing on the corner and it would be terrible if we were both wearing pink shoes."
" I had no idea, " says I " that things were so bad that two families in the most affluent part of Glasgow have to send out their womenfolk to stand on street corners.
And I had no idea pink shoes were required for such an enterprise."
Mrs. Lear's friend assured me they were akin to the red lights above certain doorways......
Her friend phoned me and asked if Mrs. Lear was wearing her pink shoes. I said I had no idea.
Her friend then said. " Well we're going to be standing on the corner and it would be terrible if we were both wearing pink shoes."
" I had no idea, " says I " that things were so bad that two families in the most affluent part of Glasgow have to send out their womenfolk to stand on street corners.
And I had no idea pink shoes were required for such an enterprise."
Mrs. Lear's friend assured me they were akin to the red lights above certain doorways......
Reacquaintance
I got an email from a man who did some work for me a few years ago - quite successfully until it became too expensive for the project and he had to go.
He has set up a new business on his own in the Internet field ( which seems to be the only area worth visiting nowadays - I don't see many people setting up machine shops or foundries).
I had a long conversation with him about our own domain business, and we are to meet in a couple of weeks time.
For a period of I had really enjoyed his company, and the intellectual stimulus his persona gave me. Unfortunately, at that time he was working for someone else who insisted on certain criteria, which, when applied to the business he and I were trying to get started, meant there was no point.
Now he's on his own, so I hope the market will decide the price - which varies from business to business.
I would compare this with how Doctors operated before the NHS started in 1947. Richer patients paid more or lots, poorer patients a little or virtually nothing. One of the capitalist lessons the East has learned well is about the marginal cost of production, both in services and in hard goods.
One of the more interesting jobs in his early life was when he worked for Mossad. He was an intelligence officer working in Jerusalem, who spent much of his time trying to persuade his older senior officers not to call in more air strikes. He also wanted the Palestinians to have a proper economy with jobs, which would mean lots of young men would not be hanging around being bored - and deciding to throw a few bombs at Israelis.He eventually got fired for not being hard-line enough ( and helping a Palestinian family), and left Israel shortly thereafter.
But what strikes me about him is that he has had to reinvent his life at least four or five times. His family escaped to South Africa from Zimbabwe when he was young, taking virtually nothing with them. He had to leave South Africa when he turned 18. He left Israel in his late 20s, and has had to change his career direction three times in the UK since. What it has done is make him resilient, open-minded and forward looking.
I was contrasting this with many of the people who remain in one place all their lives, doing the same thing, who turn 60 and then go into a decline. When they stop work, they seem to lose all interest in what's happening around them.
I know my reacquainted friend will never be like that.
He has set up a new business on his own in the Internet field ( which seems to be the only area worth visiting nowadays - I don't see many people setting up machine shops or foundries).
I had a long conversation with him about our own domain business, and we are to meet in a couple of weeks time.
For a period of I had really enjoyed his company, and the intellectual stimulus his persona gave me. Unfortunately, at that time he was working for someone else who insisted on certain criteria, which, when applied to the business he and I were trying to get started, meant there was no point.
Now he's on his own, so I hope the market will decide the price - which varies from business to business.
I would compare this with how Doctors operated before the NHS started in 1947. Richer patients paid more or lots, poorer patients a little or virtually nothing. One of the capitalist lessons the East has learned well is about the marginal cost of production, both in services and in hard goods.
One of the more interesting jobs in his early life was when he worked for Mossad. He was an intelligence officer working in Jerusalem, who spent much of his time trying to persuade his older senior officers not to call in more air strikes. He also wanted the Palestinians to have a proper economy with jobs, which would mean lots of young men would not be hanging around being bored - and deciding to throw a few bombs at Israelis.He eventually got fired for not being hard-line enough ( and helping a Palestinian family), and left Israel shortly thereafter.
But what strikes me about him is that he has had to reinvent his life at least four or five times. His family escaped to South Africa from Zimbabwe when he was young, taking virtually nothing with them. He had to leave South Africa when he turned 18. He left Israel in his late 20s, and has had to change his career direction three times in the UK since. What it has done is make him resilient, open-minded and forward looking.
I was contrasting this with many of the people who remain in one place all their lives, doing the same thing, who turn 60 and then go into a decline. When they stop work, they seem to lose all interest in what's happening around them.
I know my reacquainted friend will never be like that.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Mlle Tautou & the gigolo
I went to see the new Tautou film on Tuesday. It was charming with lots of lovely scenes set in lovely hotels in the South of France, and the acting was perfectly acceptable, even though the tale was a little obvious.
Irene, played by Tautou, was a girl working her way through rich men, and cutting a long story short, the person she eventually comes to love starts out as a waiter and ends up a gigolo.
That set me thinking. Gigolo may be a pejorative word, but nothing like as bad as prostitute, which is what Irene would - I suppose - strictly be.
Perhaps there ought to be an in-between word. We have mistress but that generally has an element of the man being married and having " a bit on the side".
Perhaps a gigolette would do.
I could see men using it.
But I think women would be rather like Ma Boswell. " She's a TAART!"
Irene, played by Tautou, was a girl working her way through rich men, and cutting a long story short, the person she eventually comes to love starts out as a waiter and ends up a gigolo.
That set me thinking. Gigolo may be a pejorative word, but nothing like as bad as prostitute, which is what Irene would - I suppose - strictly be.
Perhaps there ought to be an in-between word. We have mistress but that generally has an element of the man being married and having " a bit on the side".
Perhaps a gigolette would do.
I could see men using it.
But I think women would be rather like Ma Boswell. " She's a TAART!"
Monday, May 26, 2008
O Tempora! O Mores! or how Brown and Darling can't even give out money they're supposed to.
Quite by chance I came across a story that said that lots of the Yorkshire ( and other) victims of last summer's floods still hadn't had any Government compensation - which was promised at the time . Jackie Ashley brought it up today in her ridiculous piece ( none of the NuLab people get it at all.) when she said Brown was great over the floods ( er, not really). Anyway, I came across this from www.arrse.co.uk ( website of what used to be B.A.O.R.)
"What’s basically happened is that the UK was recently awarded Euro 162 million (£110 million) from the EU Solidarity Fund to help the flood victims in Yorkshire whose gaffs were made uninhabitable by the floods about a year ago. However, the UK gobment only plans to pay out £31 million and to keep the rest to help plug the holes in the national budget.Because the UK is a net payer into the EU, but has to forgo many of the subsidies handed out to France, Spain etc, Maggie Thatcher negotiated a rebate. Since 1984, something like EUR 69 billion has been paid back to the UK as a result. This rebate is generally reduced by normal EU subsidies. And this is where Brown the Clown and that Darling geezer have done a bit of clever bookkeeping, since the money for the flood victims is regarded as tantamount to a subsidy. So they reckon that two-thirds of the sum from the Solidarity Fund would have accrued to them anyway in the form of the rebate, and they’re also hanging onto a further £19 million, which would have been the UK contribution to the financial aid.Nothing is forcing them to do this, although they claim that EU financial regulations are to blame – they’re not! Brown the Clown and the fella with the Groucho Marx eyebrows are the snide, dishonest culprits.I can’t find anything in English about this, so any ARRSErs who’re better at googling than me (which probably includes just about everybody) will certainly have more luck. In the meantime, here’s the story in German from STERN: www.stern.de/politik/a...21429.html "
Oh, and in case you've forgotten, Blair, egged on by Brown ( although it was spun differently) handed back part of the rebate last year.
Treasonous Trash.
"What’s basically happened is that the UK was recently awarded Euro 162 million (£110 million) from the EU Solidarity Fund to help the flood victims in Yorkshire whose gaffs were made uninhabitable by the floods about a year ago. However, the UK gobment only plans to pay out £31 million and to keep the rest to help plug the holes in the national budget.Because the UK is a net payer into the EU, but has to forgo many of the subsidies handed out to France, Spain etc, Maggie Thatcher negotiated a rebate. Since 1984, something like EUR 69 billion has been paid back to the UK as a result. This rebate is generally reduced by normal EU subsidies. And this is where Brown the Clown and that Darling geezer have done a bit of clever bookkeeping, since the money for the flood victims is regarded as tantamount to a subsidy. So they reckon that two-thirds of the sum from the Solidarity Fund would have accrued to them anyway in the form of the rebate, and they’re also hanging onto a further £19 million, which would have been the UK contribution to the financial aid.Nothing is forcing them to do this, although they claim that EU financial regulations are to blame – they’re not! Brown the Clown and the fella with the Groucho Marx eyebrows are the snide, dishonest culprits.I can’t find anything in English about this, so any ARRSErs who’re better at googling than me (which probably includes just about everybody) will certainly have more luck. In the meantime, here’s the story in German from STERN: www.stern.de/politik/a...21429.html "
Oh, and in case you've forgotten, Blair, egged on by Brown ( although it was spun differently) handed back part of the rebate last year.
Treasonous Trash.
Old Kinglear and the Lord of the Rings
Old Kinglear has been in my mind a lot recently.
Partly this is because there have been ads for the Glasgow Memory Clinic on the local radio, and I underwent a drugs trial there to try to help with Alzheimer's, which is what OKL died of.
More importantly, a first edition of The Lord of the Rings recently sold for quite a lot of money, and I have a set.
I will never sell it, though, as it was given me by my father when I was about 7. Quite young you might think to be given such a book, but I was a voracious reader and regularly got through 2 or 3 a day of the Famous Five and the like, and OKL decided I needed some meat.
But why did he give me that particular trilogy?
I suppose in a sense it's now the most famous book of all time after the Bible ( I'm sure you all have other candidates) and The Godfather, or Peyton Place. But at it's first publication, Tolkien was almost unknown.
My father heard of the book whilst in Switzerland. It hadn't been translated at the time, but OKL was always one for gathering information - I think now such people are called mavens.
He walked into a bookshop in Berne, and happened to meet up with the then First Secretary in the UK Embassy there.
OKL had known him years before when he was Third Secretary. The budding Ambassador had then been moved to Paris as Second Secretary, and was now back in Berne as First Secretary. They chatted for a while, and then my father asked him what he was looking for.
" Well, when I was at University I was taught by a chap called Tolkien, and I'd heard on the grapevine he's got a book out."
As an aside, I'm not sure how being taught by Tolkien would have prepared anyone for the Diplomatic, but never mind.
Father was instantly interested and asked where he could get a copy.
" Oh, you can have mine. I'm actually back here returning it. It's a children's fairy story really. But it's for children."
Father was delighted and paid the enormous sum of, I think, £1.50 for the trilogy.
He never read it of course, but regularly asked me as I struggled through it how I liked it, and was permanently delighted to hear it was great.
" Ha," he would say with glee ," I know more than that idiot."
Partly this is because there have been ads for the Glasgow Memory Clinic on the local radio, and I underwent a drugs trial there to try to help with Alzheimer's, which is what OKL died of.
More importantly, a first edition of The Lord of the Rings recently sold for quite a lot of money, and I have a set.
I will never sell it, though, as it was given me by my father when I was about 7. Quite young you might think to be given such a book, but I was a voracious reader and regularly got through 2 or 3 a day of the Famous Five and the like, and OKL decided I needed some meat.
But why did he give me that particular trilogy?
I suppose in a sense it's now the most famous book of all time after the Bible ( I'm sure you all have other candidates) and The Godfather, or Peyton Place. But at it's first publication, Tolkien was almost unknown.
My father heard of the book whilst in Switzerland. It hadn't been translated at the time, but OKL was always one for gathering information - I think now such people are called mavens.
He walked into a bookshop in Berne, and happened to meet up with the then First Secretary in the UK Embassy there.
OKL had known him years before when he was Third Secretary. The budding Ambassador had then been moved to Paris as Second Secretary, and was now back in Berne as First Secretary. They chatted for a while, and then my father asked him what he was looking for.
" Well, when I was at University I was taught by a chap called Tolkien, and I'd heard on the grapevine he's got a book out."
As an aside, I'm not sure how being taught by Tolkien would have prepared anyone for the Diplomatic, but never mind.
Father was instantly interested and asked where he could get a copy.
" Oh, you can have mine. I'm actually back here returning it. It's a children's fairy story really. But it's for children."
Father was delighted and paid the enormous sum of, I think, £1.50 for the trilogy.
He never read it of course, but regularly asked me as I struggled through it how I liked it, and was permanently delighted to hear it was great.
" Ha," he would say with glee ," I know more than that idiot."
Scots Wha hae!
Being Scottish lays certain duties on a person.
One is to correct sassenachs who refer to us as " the Scotch" " Scotchmen" or " Scotties"PLEASE can we get this right.You are a Scot, or Scottish, or a Scotsman ( or woman).You are NOT a Scotchman - unless, as I have tried to point out, you drink Scotch ( a whisky, NOT whiskey which is Irish), in which case you are a Scotch-man. You are also not a Scotty - that's a dog. It's very feisty and sure of its's own self.
How would the English like it if they were referred to as Englandmen? Or Englishers? Mind you, they don't have a national drink ( except, I suppose, warm flat beer)and WE have a second National drink - Irn Bru ( Made in Scotland from Girders.)
One is to correct sassenachs who refer to us as " the Scotch" " Scotchmen" or " Scotties"PLEASE can we get this right.You are a Scot, or Scottish, or a Scotsman ( or woman).You are NOT a Scotchman - unless, as I have tried to point out, you drink Scotch ( a whisky, NOT whiskey which is Irish), in which case you are a Scotch-man. You are also not a Scotty - that's a dog. It's very feisty and sure of its's own self.
How would the English like it if they were referred to as Englandmen? Or Englishers? Mind you, they don't have a national drink ( except, I suppose, warm flat beer)and WE have a second National drink - Irn Bru ( Made in Scotland from Girders.)
Sunday, May 25, 2008
That Glasgow diet
I was taking the Dog for its walk this morning when I was joined by Another Walker.
We were remarking that there was a dearth of ducklings and the cygnets had not yet made their appearance.
A little girl and her mum were throwing stale bread in the general vicinity of ducks, gulls, pigeons, coots and one swan. There are signs all over the place saying please don't do this, but I guess they were exercising their democratic right to do what they like.
As we watched, the Other Walker turned to me and said. " Those are definitely Glasgow swans"
To be fair I'd never thought of them as anything else, but he went on. " I feed them chips sometimes. They really like the soggy ones."
We were remarking that there was a dearth of ducklings and the cygnets had not yet made their appearance.
A little girl and her mum were throwing stale bread in the general vicinity of ducks, gulls, pigeons, coots and one swan. There are signs all over the place saying please don't do this, but I guess they were exercising their democratic right to do what they like.
As we watched, the Other Walker turned to me and said. " Those are definitely Glasgow swans"
To be fair I'd never thought of them as anything else, but he went on. " I feed them chips sometimes. They really like the soggy ones."
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Boobs and Burma.
I spent the afternoon at a place called Xscape just outside Glasgow. It's a sort of semi-adult playground, where it appeared all ages were enjoying themselves.
The reason I was there was because Mrs. Lear couldn't get anyone else to help out collecting for Save the Children. I had already told her that, when I had mentioned this to odd people the day before I got several " I hope your not collecting for that Burma lot."
I'm used to collecting for the Gurkha Welfare Trust, when people come up to you all the time, pour money into your tin, and tell you interesting stories, and I was quite unprepared for the indifference to Save the Children, and the collection for Burma in particular.
I was approached by one person, who, instead of reaching for her wallet said " You should be ashamed of yourself collecting for those Generals. I hope they get all the diseases the country's getting." Another said " You should be collecting for China - they've done the job properly."
Needless to say, I didn't collect very much. One person was actually putting money in the bucket, then saw the poster, " Oh no, not for them" and walked away.
We may think the Great British Public doesn't pay attention, but the ones on display today certainly knew what they wanted - and more importantly, didn't want.
But to the boobs.
The weather was all right, warmish and not raining, but definitely not summer. That didn't seem to have stopped the girls and women from exposing acres of their upper torsos.
Apart from the 11 and 12 year olds, going on 30, and the 14 or 16 year olds with exceptionally gormless boyfriends, the vast majority of women walking towards me were large bosomed.
I was put in mind of the excellent Peter Sellers, and his " Balham, Gateway to the South." There's a poem in it that starts " Broad bosomed, bold, becalmed benign, stands Balham, full square on the Northern line". Certainly the ladies walking towards me would have qualified as "Broad bosomed"
Over 30 years ago when Mrs. Lear was having babies, she had a gynea, who had gone to New Zealand for 5 years, then returned to his native Glasgow.
He always told the story of going into his clinic waiting room in Auckland and seeing a long line of tall and blond women waiting for him. Halfway along the line was always a creature a good foot shorter, with big boobs. She always turned out to have been born in Glasgow, or her parents had.
His view was it was something in the water - or the diet - that had this strange effect. Women from Aberdeen or Dundee or Edinburgh don't seem to have the same shape at all.
So my conclusion today was that Glasgow women are still eating the fried Mars bars and drinking ginger **.
And good luck to them.
** " ginger" = generic name used in Glasgow for all and every fizzy drink.
The reason I was there was because Mrs. Lear couldn't get anyone else to help out collecting for Save the Children. I had already told her that, when I had mentioned this to odd people the day before I got several " I hope your not collecting for that Burma lot."
I'm used to collecting for the Gurkha Welfare Trust, when people come up to you all the time, pour money into your tin, and tell you interesting stories, and I was quite unprepared for the indifference to Save the Children, and the collection for Burma in particular.
I was approached by one person, who, instead of reaching for her wallet said " You should be ashamed of yourself collecting for those Generals. I hope they get all the diseases the country's getting." Another said " You should be collecting for China - they've done the job properly."
Needless to say, I didn't collect very much. One person was actually putting money in the bucket, then saw the poster, " Oh no, not for them" and walked away.
We may think the Great British Public doesn't pay attention, but the ones on display today certainly knew what they wanted - and more importantly, didn't want.
But to the boobs.
The weather was all right, warmish and not raining, but definitely not summer. That didn't seem to have stopped the girls and women from exposing acres of their upper torsos.
Apart from the 11 and 12 year olds, going on 30, and the 14 or 16 year olds with exceptionally gormless boyfriends, the vast majority of women walking towards me were large bosomed.
I was put in mind of the excellent Peter Sellers, and his " Balham, Gateway to the South." There's a poem in it that starts " Broad bosomed, bold, becalmed benign, stands Balham, full square on the Northern line". Certainly the ladies walking towards me would have qualified as "Broad bosomed"
Over 30 years ago when Mrs. Lear was having babies, she had a gynea, who had gone to New Zealand for 5 years, then returned to his native Glasgow.
He always told the story of going into his clinic waiting room in Auckland and seeing a long line of tall and blond women waiting for him. Halfway along the line was always a creature a good foot shorter, with big boobs. She always turned out to have been born in Glasgow, or her parents had.
His view was it was something in the water - or the diet - that had this strange effect. Women from Aberdeen or Dundee or Edinburgh don't seem to have the same shape at all.
So my conclusion today was that Glasgow women are still eating the fried Mars bars and drinking ginger **.
And good luck to them.
** " ginger" = generic name used in Glasgow for all and every fizzy drink.
Education Education Education.
The youngest Ms. Lear was on the phone last night. It's always lovely to hear what she is up to as it contrasts completely with what I do and what her sisters do, and frequently makes me think more deeply about how bad things really are in this country.
Having spent 4 years at University in America, she is very much in tune with how American politics is framed, and how its beginning to get here. The abortion debate is one such area where party lines pretty much divide the issue.
But the most interesting part of her conversation last night was about the safety net people enjoy. In the UK, of course, its much stronger than in the US, but here NuLabour have effectively suborned it to create a client state that will always vote for them. Unfortunately for NuLabour, most of them don't bother to vote - as Mrs. T said " I'm for the workers not the shirkers". Of course, NuLabour is effectively dead ( if it ever really existed except as Our Tone's non-existent Third Way to gather votes) and will shortly be replaced by proper Old Labour - ie the opposition until the NEW NuLabour rises in about 15 or 20 years time.
It's undeniable that Brown's incompetence and Stalinist clunkiness has effectively stopped social mobility within the UK, and this, more than anything, is perhaps the reason so many of the people who voted Mrs. T in have finally abandoned NuLabour . They rather liked that nice Mr. Blair ( Our Tone as the Sun always called him) who seemed to share their aspirations.
But that Brown, he doesn't share anything with us. He wants to control us and take away our autonomy. Of course, they don't frame it in those terms, but when they reach for the fiver for the next round and it's not there, and they see lots of ne'er do wells getting freebies, they know for sure that's not what they wanted when they voted for Labour.
So what should the safety net be? Surely it needs to be the ability to stand on your own feet. I accept there will always be some who cannot for a variety of reasons, but I refuse to believe that 5 odd million people in this country are incapable of some work.
The Americans have done some very good and forward looking work on this which appears to be capable of scaling up and being helpful. But the one thing that differentiates people - beyond a certain native wit - is education. Ms. Lear made this point forcefully last night.
Blair was absolutely right ( and spoke to the masses) when he said his three priorities were Education Education Education - they believed him and voted for it.
Blair's problem was he also told everyone he would fix the NHS, poverty, the police, crime, immigration and everything else. He did it to be sure of getting into power - remember, he even set up a deal with the LibDems, which, after the election of 1997, he conveniently forgot. In the event, Brown spent our money to absolutely no purpose whatsoever in any department. As a result he has managed to alienate every single section of society - even the people who have benefited.
I've long believed that government's - any government's - greatest failure is not getting people properly educated.
I'm not calling for the moon. I just want people to be able to read and write, have some knowledge of geography ( quiz the other day: Question: what's the capital of Finland? Answer: Holland - right first letter I suppose), history, both world and UK, be able to cook a little, clean a house , know how to balance a bank account and perhaps most important of all understand about contraception. They have to understand good behaviour, right and wrong, and respect - and not the insanity we have at the moment where people get stabbed for " Not showin' me da respec'." And I mean both girls and boys.
Failure actually has to exist. Don't pass your end of year exams? Repeat the year until you do. Have a sense of achievement.
I know that's old fashioned. But unless we start moving up the education scale ( we've dropped dramatically over the last ten years) we will end up having to do the jobs we presently have Filipinos, Romanians, Poles and Asians doing for peanuts. Our Universities, because of insane anti-selection policies, have fewer children from worse off homes than they used to, and only Oxford and Cambridge remain - just - in the top ten worldwide. Brown and his ministers, even the majority of the Guardian head honchos, all benefited from selection in education - but want to deny it to others.
Its at least a two-term - if not three-term - job but DC and the Tories have to get this one thing right - or all else will be unaffordable.
And without it we won't be worth any more than the scraps from the rich man's table of well-educated hardworking nations like - oh, say, anywhere in Asia really.
Having spent 4 years at University in America, she is very much in tune with how American politics is framed, and how its beginning to get here. The abortion debate is one such area where party lines pretty much divide the issue.
But the most interesting part of her conversation last night was about the safety net people enjoy. In the UK, of course, its much stronger than in the US, but here NuLabour have effectively suborned it to create a client state that will always vote for them. Unfortunately for NuLabour, most of them don't bother to vote - as Mrs. T said " I'm for the workers not the shirkers". Of course, NuLabour is effectively dead ( if it ever really existed except as Our Tone's non-existent Third Way to gather votes) and will shortly be replaced by proper Old Labour - ie the opposition until the NEW NuLabour rises in about 15 or 20 years time.
It's undeniable that Brown's incompetence and Stalinist clunkiness has effectively stopped social mobility within the UK, and this, more than anything, is perhaps the reason so many of the people who voted Mrs. T in have finally abandoned NuLabour . They rather liked that nice Mr. Blair ( Our Tone as the Sun always called him) who seemed to share their aspirations.
But that Brown, he doesn't share anything with us. He wants to control us and take away our autonomy. Of course, they don't frame it in those terms, but when they reach for the fiver for the next round and it's not there, and they see lots of ne'er do wells getting freebies, they know for sure that's not what they wanted when they voted for Labour.
So what should the safety net be? Surely it needs to be the ability to stand on your own feet. I accept there will always be some who cannot for a variety of reasons, but I refuse to believe that 5 odd million people in this country are incapable of some work.
The Americans have done some very good and forward looking work on this which appears to be capable of scaling up and being helpful. But the one thing that differentiates people - beyond a certain native wit - is education. Ms. Lear made this point forcefully last night.
Blair was absolutely right ( and spoke to the masses) when he said his three priorities were Education Education Education - they believed him and voted for it.
Blair's problem was he also told everyone he would fix the NHS, poverty, the police, crime, immigration and everything else. He did it to be sure of getting into power - remember, he even set up a deal with the LibDems, which, after the election of 1997, he conveniently forgot. In the event, Brown spent our money to absolutely no purpose whatsoever in any department. As a result he has managed to alienate every single section of society - even the people who have benefited.
I've long believed that government's - any government's - greatest failure is not getting people properly educated.
I'm not calling for the moon. I just want people to be able to read and write, have some knowledge of geography ( quiz the other day: Question: what's the capital of Finland? Answer: Holland - right first letter I suppose), history, both world and UK, be able to cook a little, clean a house , know how to balance a bank account and perhaps most important of all understand about contraception. They have to understand good behaviour, right and wrong, and respect - and not the insanity we have at the moment where people get stabbed for " Not showin' me da respec'." And I mean both girls and boys.
Failure actually has to exist. Don't pass your end of year exams? Repeat the year until you do. Have a sense of achievement.
I know that's old fashioned. But unless we start moving up the education scale ( we've dropped dramatically over the last ten years) we will end up having to do the jobs we presently have Filipinos, Romanians, Poles and Asians doing for peanuts. Our Universities, because of insane anti-selection policies, have fewer children from worse off homes than they used to, and only Oxford and Cambridge remain - just - in the top ten worldwide. Brown and his ministers, even the majority of the Guardian head honchos, all benefited from selection in education - but want to deny it to others.
Its at least a two-term - if not three-term - job but DC and the Tories have to get this one thing right - or all else will be unaffordable.
And without it we won't be worth any more than the scraps from the rich man's table of well-educated hardworking nations like - oh, say, anywhere in Asia really.
Friday, May 23, 2008
C & N and what it means
If you believe the spin today, Labour never thought they would win, and they expected a good kicking, and the Toff jibes and the racial slurs and the lies about Timpson personally " were an attempt to inject some fun into the proceedings".
As a friend of mine frequently says " I DON'T think so!!"
What it means is we will have a Tory government next time round with a workable majority at least ( and potentially a landslide) and there will be many fewer LibDems as well.
The people who voted for Mrs. T who left her for Tony Blair ( and it was Blair they went for, not Labour itself) have now decided Brown is not Blair, and they never liked what Labour has done to them. Originally, they thought they were prepared to pay more for better schools, NHS, police etc etc, but now they have seen the complete lack of any real progress, they want their money back.
Clinton had it right with " It's the economy, stupid". Brown unfortunately has no understanding of people, economics or life and aspirations, and never will.
When Blair talked of a " big clunking fist" he was actually being very astute. Brown is clunking in every department, and he only has one mode - the fist.
As the ineffable Mohamed Ali said " Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee - rumble young man rumble MMHMM"
Cameron is doing it perfectly.
UPDATE 1: Fraser Nelson on Coffee House has a lovely little snipette - as he says, we no longer need to bother about Labour's long term plans. There aren't any - and truth be told they probably never had any apart from GETTING POWER!!!!
What a waste they've been.
UPDATE 2: A commonly-used phrase by doctors, writing up a patient's notes in the good old days, was: "Requires a Timpsons Enema."
It meant:"Needs a boot up the arse."
Ironic that a Timpson, from the family that gave us the phrase, should deliver the biggest boot up the arse of the Labour party.
Serves them right.
As a friend of mine frequently says " I DON'T think so!!"
What it means is we will have a Tory government next time round with a workable majority at least ( and potentially a landslide) and there will be many fewer LibDems as well.
The people who voted for Mrs. T who left her for Tony Blair ( and it was Blair they went for, not Labour itself) have now decided Brown is not Blair, and they never liked what Labour has done to them. Originally, they thought they were prepared to pay more for better schools, NHS, police etc etc, but now they have seen the complete lack of any real progress, they want their money back.
Clinton had it right with " It's the economy, stupid". Brown unfortunately has no understanding of people, economics or life and aspirations, and never will.
When Blair talked of a " big clunking fist" he was actually being very astute. Brown is clunking in every department, and he only has one mode - the fist.
As the ineffable Mohamed Ali said " Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee - rumble young man rumble MMHMM"
Cameron is doing it perfectly.
UPDATE 1: Fraser Nelson on Coffee House has a lovely little snipette - as he says, we no longer need to bother about Labour's long term plans. There aren't any - and truth be told they probably never had any apart from GETTING POWER!!!!
What a waste they've been.
UPDATE 2: A commonly-used phrase by doctors, writing up a patient's notes in the good old days, was: "Requires a Timpsons Enema."
It meant:"Needs a boot up the arse."
Ironic that a Timpson, from the family that gave us the phrase, should deliver the biggest boot up the arse of the Labour party.
Serves them right.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
America again
Winchester Whisperer has a nice piece about Mr. and Mrs. America making a few adjustments. It means very little to their lifestyle overall, and not that much to their economy - but watch for 2009 moving on up.
HBOS and £500,000,000
You will probably have read in the papers that HBOS has floated off some £500million of mortgage debt.
This is good news as its the first easing proper we have seen in the mortgage market.
But before we all go wild, the average loan-to-value is 61% ( so undeniably above water even if prices fall by 38%) and the average price they are paying is 1.5% higher than they were paying before last October, when Base rate was .75% lower.
As a senior banker said to me the other day - " It's simple. We are paying 1.5-2% more for our money now than we were a year ago. The punter has to pay that. One of the ways we can squeeze up the price is by restricting mortgages for a bit, and then people don't mind paying the extra when they get desperate."
So there you have it. Economics triumphs again. Reduce the supply, up goes the price.
And actually, no one seems to be blaming the banks too much - apart from Brown and Darling who don't even understand that when you want to make a trade, you keep quiet until after you've done it.
Postscript
I had a meeting with an HBOS executive today for one of the charities I'm involved in. He simply gave us the money. " After all," he said," We know you". So remember, even though the old fashioned banker/client relationship may be dead, they still believe in it.
This is good news as its the first easing proper we have seen in the mortgage market.
But before we all go wild, the average loan-to-value is 61% ( so undeniably above water even if prices fall by 38%) and the average price they are paying is 1.5% higher than they were paying before last October, when Base rate was .75% lower.
As a senior banker said to me the other day - " It's simple. We are paying 1.5-2% more for our money now than we were a year ago. The punter has to pay that. One of the ways we can squeeze up the price is by restricting mortgages for a bit, and then people don't mind paying the extra when they get desperate."
So there you have it. Economics triumphs again. Reduce the supply, up goes the price.
And actually, no one seems to be blaming the banks too much - apart from Brown and Darling who don't even understand that when you want to make a trade, you keep quiet until after you've done it.
Postscript
I had a meeting with an HBOS executive today for one of the charities I'm involved in. He simply gave us the money. " After all," he said," We know you". So remember, even though the old fashioned banker/client relationship may be dead, they still believe in it.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Home sales in California jump nearly 27 percent
Sales of new property in California jumped nearly 27 percent
from March to April as bargain hunters found it easier to get loans and pick up
property on the cheap.
Something like 37,000 houses were sold in the month, or about 27% in one month in one State of the TOTAL UK new house sales.
The prices were marginally down month on month, and about 28% down on a year ago.
If you have been paying attention, you will know I have great respect for the fluidity and flexibility of the US economy.
Two years ago, a particular house ( excluding land) cost about $190,000 to build.
Now, that same house only costs about $120,000. How? Partly it's explained by the fact that the product mix in US houses is quite different from ours, with lumber being a big input. Contractors have squeezed prices hard, so that only the most efficient mills can keep going. In Canada, which exported over 70% of it's lumber from generally older mills to the US, the industry is in serious trouble - the Yanks are hardly taking anything from over the border.
But my point is twofold. Firstly, houses are approaching a price in the US that people recognise as value. Secondly, even the bankers are realising the same thing and are prepared to bet some money on it.
The US is not out of its problems yet, but its already looking towards the next boom.
Unfortunately, we aren't.
from March to April as bargain hunters found it easier to get loans and pick up
property on the cheap.
Something like 37,000 houses were sold in the month, or about 27% in one month in one State of the TOTAL UK new house sales.
The prices were marginally down month on month, and about 28% down on a year ago.
If you have been paying attention, you will know I have great respect for the fluidity and flexibility of the US economy.
Two years ago, a particular house ( excluding land) cost about $190,000 to build.
Now, that same house only costs about $120,000. How? Partly it's explained by the fact that the product mix in US houses is quite different from ours, with lumber being a big input. Contractors have squeezed prices hard, so that only the most efficient mills can keep going. In Canada, which exported over 70% of it's lumber from generally older mills to the US, the industry is in serious trouble - the Yanks are hardly taking anything from over the border.
But my point is twofold. Firstly, houses are approaching a price in the US that people recognise as value. Secondly, even the bankers are realising the same thing and are prepared to bet some money on it.
The US is not out of its problems yet, but its already looking towards the next boom.
Unfortunately, we aren't.
Monday, May 19, 2008
John Swinney
I was invited this afternoon to a seminar which included the above gentleman as the keynote speaker.
I'm not an SNP supporter, but if Swinney is true to his word, all of us in Scotland might just vote for him. On the other hand, he IS a politician ( and a bloody good one at that)
He spoke well, but for me there were two points at which I thought " Yes."
The first was that the piece of paper he carried around with him at the Holyrood elections last year, and which he used at the first " Cabinet" meeting thereafter said " We will make Scotland grow economically and sustainably". Brown may have thought he would do this for the UK, but unfortunately his ideology and complete lack of understanding of economics, markets or even how to make a trade blew that one out of the water.
Swinney went on to say that the critical thing about the sustainability part of his dictum was making sure that everything in Government, local Government, the Health Service, and every other Government connected body all pulled in the same direction and were focused , not on a quick fix which could fall apart just as quickly, but on a long term sustainable position.
He made the point that he and his colleagues were about to launch metrics by which their performance could be measured, " For, " he said, " Why are we bothering to do anything otherwise?" His goal was nothing less than raising Scotland's average growth rate ( which over the last 30 years has averaged about 1.8% pa) up to the same level as the UK ( about 2.7%). This would have profound effects on Scotland's prosperity.
The second point where I was silently saying " Yes!" to myself was when a questioner said "That's all very well, but with your tax varying powers, surely you're going to squeeze that prosperity with higher taxes."
Swinney smiled.
" Let me answer that with a story. In 1992, when I was working for Scottish Amicable, I was given the job of finding the perfect spot for our European headquarters.
We could have chosen anywhere, and I had visions of jetting around Europe on expenses for some months.
The only problem was, I started - not by booking the airline tickets - but by doing some basic taxation research.
I never even left the office. Ireland had just started it's low tax regime for companies. It was such a complete and utter stand out that I simply told my Director that we should put the headquarters in Dublin.
Dublin now has it's own huge financial services sector, which didn't exist 16 years ago - sustainable, high value jobs"
Now OK he's a politician trying to sell his wares, but if he genuinely goes down the low company tax route, Scotland will be rich and happy.
And so will I.
I'm not an SNP supporter, but if Swinney is true to his word, all of us in Scotland might just vote for him. On the other hand, he IS a politician ( and a bloody good one at that)
He spoke well, but for me there were two points at which I thought " Yes."
The first was that the piece of paper he carried around with him at the Holyrood elections last year, and which he used at the first " Cabinet" meeting thereafter said " We will make Scotland grow economically and sustainably". Brown may have thought he would do this for the UK, but unfortunately his ideology and complete lack of understanding of economics, markets or even how to make a trade blew that one out of the water.
Swinney went on to say that the critical thing about the sustainability part of his dictum was making sure that everything in Government, local Government, the Health Service, and every other Government connected body all pulled in the same direction and were focused , not on a quick fix which could fall apart just as quickly, but on a long term sustainable position.
He made the point that he and his colleagues were about to launch metrics by which their performance could be measured, " For, " he said, " Why are we bothering to do anything otherwise?" His goal was nothing less than raising Scotland's average growth rate ( which over the last 30 years has averaged about 1.8% pa) up to the same level as the UK ( about 2.7%). This would have profound effects on Scotland's prosperity.
The second point where I was silently saying " Yes!" to myself was when a questioner said "That's all very well, but with your tax varying powers, surely you're going to squeeze that prosperity with higher taxes."
Swinney smiled.
" Let me answer that with a story. In 1992, when I was working for Scottish Amicable, I was given the job of finding the perfect spot for our European headquarters.
We could have chosen anywhere, and I had visions of jetting around Europe on expenses for some months.
The only problem was, I started - not by booking the airline tickets - but by doing some basic taxation research.
I never even left the office. Ireland had just started it's low tax regime for companies. It was such a complete and utter stand out that I simply told my Director that we should put the headquarters in Dublin.
Dublin now has it's own huge financial services sector, which didn't exist 16 years ago - sustainable, high value jobs"
Now OK he's a politician trying to sell his wares, but if he genuinely goes down the low company tax route, Scotland will be rich and happy.
And so will I.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
60th. Birthday party
My brother-in-law turned 60 during the week, and his sister, Mrs. Lear, hosted his party last night.
Lots of old friends and family ploughed through champagne, wine, digestifs, salmon, panacotta etc etc, and I did the washing up. I did, contrary to my usual rule in UK, toast the birthday boy with a mini-glass of bubbly.
What it did make me think about was the way connections remain. Some of the people had not been seen by the BiL for more than 30 years, but they still turned up and enjoyed the reunion. This being the West of Scotland, my generation are still pretty much all here - as are the generation before and the one before that. Many years ago when Mrs. Lear and I might have gone to live abroad, one of the thoughts we used to iterate frequently was that anyone we knew would still be here if we ever came back. In the event we stayed here - and yes the others are still all here.
My children's generation, however, are much more likely to have moved away.
Two of the three Ms. Lears are in London, having been in France and America, and the Middle East, whilst their friends from when they were little are also largely removed elsewhere.
Its a phenomenon that has probably been around in England for a long time, but here it's quite new, and has resulted in a generation of people either already grandparents or approaching that state who are wondering if they should move to be nearer the children.
I simply pose this as a question, not in any pejorative way, but why should they move? Should the children not have to deal with their own children, rather than having grannie exhausting herself three or four days a week looking after them? My generation had little or no help from the ancient Ps when the children were small. Why shouldn't my generation simply do their own thing and leave the children to get on with it?
Personally, I have every intention of not being a doting grandparent.
Mrs. Lear says I bored everyone to death about my own children, and she's sure I will do the same with any grandchildren.
And will insist on them being brought frequently to be looked after.
Lots of old friends and family ploughed through champagne, wine, digestifs, salmon, panacotta etc etc, and I did the washing up. I did, contrary to my usual rule in UK, toast the birthday boy with a mini-glass of bubbly.
What it did make me think about was the way connections remain. Some of the people had not been seen by the BiL for more than 30 years, but they still turned up and enjoyed the reunion. This being the West of Scotland, my generation are still pretty much all here - as are the generation before and the one before that. Many years ago when Mrs. Lear and I might have gone to live abroad, one of the thoughts we used to iterate frequently was that anyone we knew would still be here if we ever came back. In the event we stayed here - and yes the others are still all here.
My children's generation, however, are much more likely to have moved away.
Two of the three Ms. Lears are in London, having been in France and America, and the Middle East, whilst their friends from when they were little are also largely removed elsewhere.
Its a phenomenon that has probably been around in England for a long time, but here it's quite new, and has resulted in a generation of people either already grandparents or approaching that state who are wondering if they should move to be nearer the children.
I simply pose this as a question, not in any pejorative way, but why should they move? Should the children not have to deal with their own children, rather than having grannie exhausting herself three or four days a week looking after them? My generation had little or no help from the ancient Ps when the children were small. Why shouldn't my generation simply do their own thing and leave the children to get on with it?
Personally, I have every intention of not being a doting grandparent.
Mrs. Lear says I bored everyone to death about my own children, and she's sure I will do the same with any grandchildren.
And will insist on them being brought frequently to be looked after.
Friday, May 16, 2008
The Manchester Riot
Well, it was bound to happen. A woman on the radio says the Rangers fans were all incredibly well behaved, that they only attacked the Police when the riot police came in ( er why did they need the riot police again?) - and after all, of course one throws stuff ( metal objects and the like) at heavily armored police, rather than walk away.
She also said that she had gone to ask what was happening of one of the riot police, who told her to get the F out of the way, " and that's what started the riot."
Hmm. Strikes me that people going up to riot police and asking them questions are a tad more likely to be in trouble rather than avoiding it.
I did see a selection of fans returning to Glasgow yesterday afternoon.
They looked tired.
She also said that she had gone to ask what was happening of one of the riot police, who told her to get the F out of the way, " and that's what started the riot."
Hmm. Strikes me that people going up to riot police and asking them questions are a tad more likely to be in trouble rather than avoiding it.
I did see a selection of fans returning to Glasgow yesterday afternoon.
They looked tired.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
The way we live now.
Whilst in the park the other day, a young family was watching the drakes chasing lady ducks.
" Who's that then?" asked the 3 or 4 year old little girl, pointing.
" That's the man duck's girlfriend " said her mother.
" So where are the baby ducks then?"
" Oh I expect they've left home already."
" Have they got another daddy?"
I didn't overhear the rest of the conversation as I was walking, but a couple of points emerge.
1) Even at age 3 or so, children are being told that men have girlfriends - not wives.
2) The children automatically assume that a man and girlfriend will have babies.
3)... and then the girlfriend will move on and the babies will get another daddy.
Terrifying.
" Who's that then?" asked the 3 or 4 year old little girl, pointing.
" That's the man duck's girlfriend " said her mother.
" So where are the baby ducks then?"
" Oh I expect they've left home already."
" Have they got another daddy?"
I didn't overhear the rest of the conversation as I was walking, but a couple of points emerge.
1) Even at age 3 or so, children are being told that men have girlfriends - not wives.
2) The children automatically assume that a man and girlfriend will have babies.
3)... and then the girlfriend will move on and the babies will get another daddy.
Terrifying.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
A Secretary's aspiration.
Others will be wondering why the sudden early release of Cherie, Prescott and Levy books, but the clear message is that Gordon won't be around long enough for anyone to be interested in them soon.
This is a mixed blessing for the Tories - GB is their best vote winner at the moment.
The story that stood out for me in the Cherie interview was her remark about Brown's "stinginess".
" He couldn't understand " she said " that a secretary on £18,000 pa wants to shop at Selfridges."
I think this sums the man up perfectly. He just simply does NOT understand aspiration, thinking people ought to be given things and be damned grateful too.
Except people aren't like that. The more they are given , the less it is appreciated. The more you earn yourself the more you appreciate it.
GB simply doesn't understand. Bliar's genius was that he did understand that people had aspirations, and he played mercilessly on them.
Brown will go down as the worst Chancellor and the worst Prime Minister ever, not for his incompetence and lack of economic, trading, or general business sense and understanding, but for the fact that he simply does not understand his fellow human beings.
Makes me almost sorry for him.
Almost.
This is a mixed blessing for the Tories - GB is their best vote winner at the moment.
The story that stood out for me in the Cherie interview was her remark about Brown's "stinginess".
" He couldn't understand " she said " that a secretary on £18,000 pa wants to shop at Selfridges."
I think this sums the man up perfectly. He just simply does NOT understand aspiration, thinking people ought to be given things and be damned grateful too.
Except people aren't like that. The more they are given , the less it is appreciated. The more you earn yourself the more you appreciate it.
GB simply doesn't understand. Bliar's genius was that he did understand that people had aspirations, and he played mercilessly on them.
Brown will go down as the worst Chancellor and the worst Prime Minister ever, not for his incompetence and lack of economic, trading, or general business sense and understanding, but for the fact that he simply does not understand his fellow human beings.
Makes me almost sorry for him.
Almost.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
True at all times
Charles Clarke apparently has a quotation posted above his desk, written by the American trade unionist Samuel Gompers, headed, "What does Labor Want?". The answer, set out by Gompers, was: "We want more school houses and less jails; more books and less arsenals; more learning and less vice; more constant work and less crime; more leisure and less greed; more justice and less revenge; in fact more opportunities to cultivate our better natures."
Now I have to say I'm not sure US Labor is the same as our Labour. In fact, I'm pretty sure the two are distinctly different, especially as American Labor tends NOT to want to bring down the "toffs", wishing to be upwardly mobile and join them - something our present Stalinist Government won't allow anyone other than themselves to do.
What I am sure about is that the sentiments expressed by Gompers are compatible with all political parties and all classes, and, as such, ought to be the bedrock of any political party in our nascent 21st Century.
The Left as such, largely a creation after the 1918 war in the UK, has run its course. People now insist on individual freedom and the right to self-responsibility. Strangely, the very " rights and responsibilities" as drafted by NuLabour have helped to alienate all the people Bliar managed to bring together in 1997.
It will be a very long time - if ever - before Labour gets into power again. I can see a situation where, without Scotland and Wales, they take the third party position presently occupied by the LibDems.
After all, they polled third last week.
POSTSCRIPT:
If Crewe and Nantwich turns out anywhere near the ICM poll results just out, every Labour MP will clamour for "something to be done"
Now I have to say I'm not sure US Labor is the same as our Labour. In fact, I'm pretty sure the two are distinctly different, especially as American Labor tends NOT to want to bring down the "toffs", wishing to be upwardly mobile and join them - something our present Stalinist Government won't allow anyone other than themselves to do.
What I am sure about is that the sentiments expressed by Gompers are compatible with all political parties and all classes, and, as such, ought to be the bedrock of any political party in our nascent 21st Century.
The Left as such, largely a creation after the 1918 war in the UK, has run its course. People now insist on individual freedom and the right to self-responsibility. Strangely, the very " rights and responsibilities" as drafted by NuLabour have helped to alienate all the people Bliar managed to bring together in 1997.
It will be a very long time - if ever - before Labour gets into power again. I can see a situation where, without Scotland and Wales, they take the third party position presently occupied by the LibDems.
After all, they polled third last week.
POSTSCRIPT:
If Crewe and Nantwich turns out anywhere near the ICM poll results just out, every Labour MP will clamour for "something to be done"
Thursday, May 08, 2008
ONLY 26%...
ahead. Weirdly, that might make things easier for GB. If he's so far behind no one will want to change him for themselves. Now, he has nothing to lose.
Wife in the North....
.... in case you haven't heard, voted Tory for the first time in her life last week.
And, as she says, her writing hand did not blacken and shrivel and drop off.
Now I can only say that this is the woman ( multiplied by many many thousands) who voted in Tony Blair.
So if she really has returned to her rightful mind ( that's to do with being on the right, NOT from insanity... oh well, please yourself) then her sisters and brother, husbands and friends, will all have done so as well.
So it's goodnight & goodbye from Gordon and it's goodnight & goodbye from him.
And, as she says, her writing hand did not blacken and shrivel and drop off.
Now I can only say that this is the woman ( multiplied by many many thousands) who voted in Tony Blair.
So if she really has returned to her rightful mind ( that's to do with being on the right, NOT from insanity... oh well, please yourself) then her sisters and brother, husbands and friends, will all have done so as well.
So it's goodnight & goodbye from Gordon and it's goodnight & goodbye from him.
TELL YOUR MP TO GET THE FACTS!
I don't read Right for Scotland on a regular basis, but this post makes for seriously interesting reading.
In essence the debate about 28 days or 42 days of detention is rubbish. From computers the whole thing can actually be done in 2 or 3 days, and then an interrogation of suspects where the police actually have all the answers and they either admit it, and get a reduced sentence, or don't, and get a longer one.
As RFS says, viewers of The Bill will know it as CrimInt.
So when Mr. Brown talks crap in the HoC, get your MP to stand up and tell him so.
In essence the debate about 28 days or 42 days of detention is rubbish. From computers the whole thing can actually be done in 2 or 3 days, and then an interrogation of suspects where the police actually have all the answers and they either admit it, and get a reduced sentence, or don't, and get a longer one.
As RFS says, viewers of The Bill will know it as CrimInt.
So when Mr. Brown talks crap in the HoC, get your MP to stand up and tell him so.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Smart People..
.. is a new film with Dennis Quaid ( he of the Jack Nicholson somewhat persuasion) and Sarah Jessica Parker ( who doesn't really matter). It's a lovely film about Quaid being jolted out of his misery, and has in particular two wonderful lines.
One is from a poem by William Carlos Williams - " Everybody must have a red wheelbarrow". Actually that's not a quote from the poem itself - the poem is:
so much depends
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
And reams and reams have been written about it.
But the thought in the film is that, to be human, you need the Red Wheelbarrow.
And the rain and chickens too, I would think.
But the other line made me howl with laughter.
Quaid's wife had died some year's before and he makes it to bed with SJP, and she makes him put on a condom.
Fair enough.
Except a few months later, she discovers she's pregnant.
When he eventually finds out, he says, " But how?
And SJP says " Because you don't know how to put a condom on properly."
The point, of course, is that's exactly how you make a human.
One is from a poem by William Carlos Williams - " Everybody must have a red wheelbarrow". Actually that's not a quote from the poem itself - the poem is:
so much depends
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
And reams and reams have been written about it.
But the thought in the film is that, to be human, you need the Red Wheelbarrow.
And the rain and chickens too, I would think.
But the other line made me howl with laughter.
Quaid's wife had died some year's before and he makes it to bed with SJP, and she makes him put on a condom.
Fair enough.
Except a few months later, she discovers she's pregnant.
When he eventually finds out, he says, " But how?
And SJP says " Because you don't know how to put a condom on properly."
The point, of course, is that's exactly how you make a human.
Monday, May 05, 2008
BJ v.GB
I was re-reading one of Boris's dispatches today and was struck by the following phrase:
"We do what we do because we hope to achieve happiness"
He was talking particularly about Gordon Brown and his lack of any apparent joy in anything he does.Boris, I'm sure, finds lots of happiness every day.
I'm quite sure we try to earn money, try to educate ourselves and our children, try to make our extended families cohesive, all in the name of hoping to achieve happiness.
If he extends that to his new job as Mayor of London, I'm willing to bet that living there will be less like being in purgatory and more pleasant.
And make us happier.
"We do what we do because we hope to achieve happiness"
He was talking particularly about Gordon Brown and his lack of any apparent joy in anything he does.Boris, I'm sure, finds lots of happiness every day.
I'm quite sure we try to earn money, try to educate ourselves and our children, try to make our extended families cohesive, all in the name of hoping to achieve happiness.
If he extends that to his new job as Mayor of London, I'm willing to bet that living there will be less like being in purgatory and more pleasant.
And make us happier.
Monday, April 28, 2008
What Economics can do for you
Being an economist from 1968 at the LSE, I KNOW that economics is actually the magic answer of " 42" - the answer to everything.
People think of economics in terms of money, but in reality, the medium of exchange can be lots of different things, only one of which is money.
So it was without surprise that I read today of a second FTSE 100 company decamping to Ireland.
The cost is tiny compared to the cost of staying and paying this government's taxes.
The Tories, when they get in, will have a big problem sorting this mess out, but they could start by making a flat rate tax - very appealing.
I've lived long enough to have seen three changes of power from Labour to Tory - and hope shortly to see a fourth.
After WW2, the whole country was so exhausted and bankrupt, that, to be fair, nothing would have worked. It was only after the Tories came back in in 1951 that things began, very slowly to pick up - and that because Keynes killed himself getting the Americans to help out.
The 60s had Wilson and his white heat of technology - only he cancelled TSR2 and Blue Streak and Tony Benn felt companies should be made to pay for their excessive profits - even though they were non-existent. Heath came in - regretfully he had little idea about economics, and Barber, his Chancellor, even less.
But in the 15 years from Wilson's first government to Callaghan's last in 1979, Labour dominated the economic thinking.
So by 1979 everyone was generally agreed that the UK was finished. Mrs.T saved us, and she and Major left such an excellent economic legacy that it has taken 11 years for this present Labour lot to squander it.
We will have the same effect again - Labour have ruined it, Tories will slowly sort it.
And all because Labour always try to dictate the market.
You can't.
The market will always win.
As I always say, London gets fed and watered every day.
And noone tells anyone how to do it. But economics makes it work.
People think of economics in terms of money, but in reality, the medium of exchange can be lots of different things, only one of which is money.
So it was without surprise that I read today of a second FTSE 100 company decamping to Ireland.
The cost is tiny compared to the cost of staying and paying this government's taxes.
The Tories, when they get in, will have a big problem sorting this mess out, but they could start by making a flat rate tax - very appealing.
I've lived long enough to have seen three changes of power from Labour to Tory - and hope shortly to see a fourth.
After WW2, the whole country was so exhausted and bankrupt, that, to be fair, nothing would have worked. It was only after the Tories came back in in 1951 that things began, very slowly to pick up - and that because Keynes killed himself getting the Americans to help out.
The 60s had Wilson and his white heat of technology - only he cancelled TSR2 and Blue Streak and Tony Benn felt companies should be made to pay for their excessive profits - even though they were non-existent. Heath came in - regretfully he had little idea about economics, and Barber, his Chancellor, even less.
But in the 15 years from Wilson's first government to Callaghan's last in 1979, Labour dominated the economic thinking.
So by 1979 everyone was generally agreed that the UK was finished. Mrs.T saved us, and she and Major left such an excellent economic legacy that it has taken 11 years for this present Labour lot to squander it.
We will have the same effect again - Labour have ruined it, Tories will slowly sort it.
And all because Labour always try to dictate the market.
You can't.
The market will always win.
As I always say, London gets fed and watered every day.
And noone tells anyone how to do it. But economics makes it work.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Afghanistan
Just thought you might like to see where our boys - and Prince Harry - are fighting.
Oh, and just in case you missed it, the announcement of better terms for injured soldiers just happens to have been put out before the May elections.
There is nothing this pathetic, cynical and discredited government will not do to try to keep in power, including climbing over our injured soldiers.
Shame on them.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
S&M an Last Man Standing
Chris Dillow has an interesting post here on his move to Rutland.
But if you read Wiki on Nietzsche, it has a telling line: "This 'Ubermensch' may be contrasted to a weak-willed individual, one who is tired of life, takes no risks, seeks only comfort and security: the Last Man. The last man would be the product of socialism, democracy and other egalitarian belief systems.[1]"
And further: "Nietzsche saw that nothing great is possible for the Last Man, and it is Nietzsche's contention that Western civilization (Europe) is moving in the direction of the last man, an apathetic creature, who has no great passion or commitment, who is unable to dream, who merely earns his living and keeps warm."
Now I know I'm on the right, but this looks awfully awfully like Broon the Gloom, don't you think?
But if you read Wiki on Nietzsche, it has a telling line: "This 'Ubermensch' may be contrasted to a weak-willed individual, one who is tired of life, takes no risks, seeks only comfort and security: the Last Man. The last man would be the product of socialism, democracy and other egalitarian belief systems.[1]"
And further: "Nietzsche saw that nothing great is possible for the Last Man, and it is Nietzsche's contention that Western civilization (Europe) is moving in the direction of the last man, an apathetic creature, who has no great passion or commitment, who is unable to dream, who merely earns his living and keeps warm."
Now I know I'm on the right, but this looks awfully awfully like Broon the Gloom, don't you think?
Mr. Swann, Ms. Bird & Mr. Cobb
You may not believe what I am about to write, but I promise you it's true.
In our park we have a nesting couple of swans, and the cob is seriously protective.
The other day another cob appeared on the scene and our daddy swan gave it a right doing.
Bloodied and somewhat confused, the poor thing staggered onto the main road, where it was picked up by a Mr. Swann. A car driving past stopped, and in it was Jackie Bird, a well known Scottish TV presenter.
Between them, they took it down to Hessilhead, where a Mr. Cobb cared for it.
Extraordinary.
In our park we have a nesting couple of swans, and the cob is seriously protective.
The other day another cob appeared on the scene and our daddy swan gave it a right doing.
Bloodied and somewhat confused, the poor thing staggered onto the main road, where it was picked up by a Mr. Swann. A car driving past stopped, and in it was Jackie Bird, a well known Scottish TV presenter.
Between them, they took it down to Hessilhead, where a Mr. Cobb cared for it.
Extraordinary.
Morals
Been in London for a few days which always takes forever to achieve anything.
The highpoint was a trip along the Regents and the Grand Union Canal on Thursday afternoon with the " Jason"- decidedly pleasant if a touch chilly, even in the sunshine. Lunch on another narrow boat in Little Venice was delightfully eccentric.
Catching up with the post on my return, I chanced across a magazine from The Alliance Trust of Dundee, which was talking about a Trust it invests in called Charter Trust & Agency.
Founded in 1907, there was a list of founding shareholders.
They are a fascinating mob - a count, a baron, Jesse Watson from Edinburgh ( married woman & clearly seriously wealthy), Barrister, butcher, the list goes on.
But the most interesting entries are side by side. John Anderson, reverend, from Loughborough, has 6 shares, and beside it Marie Burel, from Neuilly, France has an interest in these as well. Her profession is described as " Madam"
Now please note this is not Madame as in French married woman, it is Madam, as in a person who runs brothels.
Either she gave the rev. the shares for his good works, or he gave them to her in payment.
Or they bought them together.
In any event, I feel we were more honest about relationships then than we are now. They might have been hidden from gaze more, but people took responsibility for their actions. Nowadays we have an extremely expensive agency which does a very bad job of tracking down errant fathers. Then, the father made provision.
In my own family, coming from the wrong side of the blanket, the first of our line was educated and supported as was his serving maid mother by the 63 year old Lord who fathered him.
It's what was considered right & proper.
Now, everyone just tries to escape the consequences of their actions.
The highpoint was a trip along the Regents and the Grand Union Canal on Thursday afternoon with the " Jason"- decidedly pleasant if a touch chilly, even in the sunshine. Lunch on another narrow boat in Little Venice was delightfully eccentric.
Catching up with the post on my return, I chanced across a magazine from The Alliance Trust of Dundee, which was talking about a Trust it invests in called Charter Trust & Agency.
Founded in 1907, there was a list of founding shareholders.
They are a fascinating mob - a count, a baron, Jesse Watson from Edinburgh ( married woman & clearly seriously wealthy), Barrister, butcher, the list goes on.
But the most interesting entries are side by side. John Anderson, reverend, from Loughborough, has 6 shares, and beside it Marie Burel, from Neuilly, France has an interest in these as well. Her profession is described as " Madam"
Now please note this is not Madame as in French married woman, it is Madam, as in a person who runs brothels.
Either she gave the rev. the shares for his good works, or he gave them to her in payment.
Or they bought them together.
In any event, I feel we were more honest about relationships then than we are now. They might have been hidden from gaze more, but people took responsibility for their actions. Nowadays we have an extremely expensive agency which does a very bad job of tracking down errant fathers. Then, the father made provision.
In my own family, coming from the wrong side of the blanket, the first of our line was educated and supported as was his serving maid mother by the 63 year old Lord who fathered him.
It's what was considered right & proper.
Now, everyone just tries to escape the consequences of their actions.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
True love
The step-granny was over for lunch today, and much of the talk turned to the war years, when she was a child in Goa.
Her father, in charge of Burma Oil there, was also the Honorary British Consul. There were apparently many whispered conversations on the veranda of an evening as messages were decoded, then the replies coded and sent back.
As a child, the step-granny noticed one day that there were two German ships and one Japanese in the bay. She was shortly to go into the hills for the hot season, and thought no more about it until her return a couple of months later - when the ships were all sitting with just the tops of their masts showing. She was told they had scuttled themselves.
Many years later she discovered that the Calcutta equivalent of Dad's Army had come down from the north, donned goggles and flippers, pushed out explosives on little rafts, and blown chunks out of all three ships simultaneously.Bear in mind these where all elderly men and probably had to swim a couple of miles in each direction. We Brits are best when improvising and making do, and being amateur.
One day the Honorary Consul was visited by an attractive lady who asked if he could find out if her husband was dead or alive. He had been captured at the fall of Singapore, and she had had no word for over three years. In the bay were a Swedish and a Japanese ship that were exchanging prisoners. She had heard, from her post in Madras hundreds of miles away, that this exchange was to take place, and she wondered if the British being exchanged might have some word of her husband.
The HC told her to come back the next day, which she duly did.
She was told that he was not on the ship, but that one of the men on board knew her husband, knew he was alive, and thought he might yet be exchanged.
" Thank you" said the Lady " This is the 40th. exchange I have come to see, and the first word I've had."
" How marvellous " said the HC ." What devotion!"
The lady smiled.
" Not at all. When you truly love, nothing else means anything."
Her father, in charge of Burma Oil there, was also the Honorary British Consul. There were apparently many whispered conversations on the veranda of an evening as messages were decoded, then the replies coded and sent back.
As a child, the step-granny noticed one day that there were two German ships and one Japanese in the bay. She was shortly to go into the hills for the hot season, and thought no more about it until her return a couple of months later - when the ships were all sitting with just the tops of their masts showing. She was told they had scuttled themselves.
Many years later she discovered that the Calcutta equivalent of Dad's Army had come down from the north, donned goggles and flippers, pushed out explosives on little rafts, and blown chunks out of all three ships simultaneously.Bear in mind these where all elderly men and probably had to swim a couple of miles in each direction. We Brits are best when improvising and making do, and being amateur.
One day the Honorary Consul was visited by an attractive lady who asked if he could find out if her husband was dead or alive. He had been captured at the fall of Singapore, and she had had no word for over three years. In the bay were a Swedish and a Japanese ship that were exchanging prisoners. She had heard, from her post in Madras hundreds of miles away, that this exchange was to take place, and she wondered if the British being exchanged might have some word of her husband.
The HC told her to come back the next day, which she duly did.
She was told that he was not on the ship, but that one of the men on board knew her husband, knew he was alive, and thought he might yet be exchanged.
" Thank you" said the Lady " This is the 40th. exchange I have come to see, and the first word I've had."
" How marvellous " said the HC ." What devotion!"
The lady smiled.
" Not at all. When you truly love, nothing else means anything."
Two Swans in the Park
" Morning dear. Did you sleep well?"
" Sleep well? How dare you! How could I sleep well with 6 great hard hulking lumps under me! This is all your fault - that's the last time I let you come anywhere near me."
" Now dear, you know you're only just saying that - you don't mean it."
" Don't mean it? I tell you, when this lot hatch I'm off. No more of this producing eggs and sitting on them for months. And what do you get at the end? No bloody gratitude, I can tell you. And I'll have lost my attraction for you and you'll be off with that younger swan from the other side of the pond."
Some weeks go by.
" Morning dear, did you sleep well?"
" Sleep well? You must be joking. It's all very well for you Mrs., you just had to sit there to hatch them, I've had them under me jiggling about for days now whilst you float around with your head gracefully tucked under your wing."
"Aw but they're sweet, and follow me around all day cheeping."
" .. And keeping me awake during the day too! I can tell you, the minute their feathers start to go white I'm off."
So you see, whether you're a cob or a pen, raising babies is no fun. Which is pretty much the same for humans.
Once they turn about 25 it's not so bad.
" Sleep well? How dare you! How could I sleep well with 6 great hard hulking lumps under me! This is all your fault - that's the last time I let you come anywhere near me."
" Now dear, you know you're only just saying that - you don't mean it."
" Don't mean it? I tell you, when this lot hatch I'm off. No more of this producing eggs and sitting on them for months. And what do you get at the end? No bloody gratitude, I can tell you. And I'll have lost my attraction for you and you'll be off with that younger swan from the other side of the pond."
Some weeks go by.
" Morning dear, did you sleep well?"
" Sleep well? You must be joking. It's all very well for you Mrs., you just had to sit there to hatch them, I've had them under me jiggling about for days now whilst you float around with your head gracefully tucked under your wing."
"Aw but they're sweet, and follow me around all day cheeping."
" .. And keeping me awake during the day too! I can tell you, the minute their feathers start to go white I'm off."
So you see, whether you're a cob or a pen, raising babies is no fun. Which is pretty much the same for humans.
Once they turn about 25 it's not so bad.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Making Friends
S&M has a piece from a few days ago that I missed in connection with Longevity, Success & Friendship.
In essence, the more successful you are the longer you tend to live.
But as the post says, people who are Oscar-winning scriptwriters tend to die younger than mere nominees.
His theory is - I think - something we should all aspire to.
Because you are successful you tend to have people gravitate towards you and become friends.
But as an Oscar-winning scriptwriter, because writing is essentially a solitary pursuit, you tend to lose friends. The reason is the more successful you are in this department the more you work and the less you see friends - or make them.
So we should work less and make more friends - you know it makes sense.
In essence, the more successful you are the longer you tend to live.
But as the post says, people who are Oscar-winning scriptwriters tend to die younger than mere nominees.
His theory is - I think - something we should all aspire to.
Because you are successful you tend to have people gravitate towards you and become friends.
But as an Oscar-winning scriptwriter, because writing is essentially a solitary pursuit, you tend to lose friends. The reason is the more successful you are in this department the more you work and the less you see friends - or make them.
So we should work less and make more friends - you know it makes sense.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Labour's lack of ANY ideas
Iain Dale has a fine piece on today's First Minister's Questions ( in case you don't know this is the weekly occasion in Holyrood when Alex Salmond swats the Labourites like flies, and purrs to the Tories - if he can get them on board he's cracked it).
In essence, Wee Wendy IS the Leader of the Scottish Opposition, and has 3 questions.
Except... today she could only come up with two.
Shows just how devoid of ideas Labour really is.
In essence, Wee Wendy IS the Leader of the Scottish Opposition, and has 3 questions.
Except... today she could only come up with two.
Shows just how devoid of ideas Labour really is.
Aunties
Regretfully, I have no blood-Aunts still alive. I still have a couple of the courtesy Aunts that as a little boy were friends of my mother, and, as I think we all were, was encouraged to call "Auntie".
All of them - real and courtesy - were, in my memory, eccentric. They had all had good wars ( I always thought they had the time of their lives then) and much of their conversation in the 50s and early 60s still reflected that.
One always referred to her "target for tonight" ( which I now know was usually a good looking chap), whilst another would ask of young people " Would you be young always if you could choose?" and then burst into uncontrollable laughter. I think this is because they loved being a bit older and hence free from supervision.
The one I never understood was " Many are called ( Scottish for cold) but few are frozen". This is presumably a bastardisation of " Many are called but few are chosen". I now think this referred to her many "beaus" and the very few she turned down.
My musings today were prompted by a story about a lady assaulting a police officer. She had punched and kicked him and the poor young man " sustained injuries" - goes to show how pathetic our police are nowadays. In the old days the cuffs would have been on before you could blink.
Anyway, two of my blood aunts had gone to a fishmongers to get dressed crab for their dinner. Unfortunately it was not ready so they repaired to the pub next door - and stayed there until closing time at 2:30. They still had closing time in the 50s.
When they came out, they weaved into the fish-shop, collected the crab, and started to wander home. The crab was on plates and was permanently in peril of landing face down on the pavement.
The village Bobby met them half-way up the street.
" Afternoon Mrs. Marshall - can I just help you with those plates?"
My Aunt drew herself up to her full height.
" Young man, I am perfectly capable of placing these plates precisely where I wish!"
" Yes I'm sure you are, but I just wanted to help." Whereupon the other Aunt chimed in.." And I can too!" grabbed one of the plates and deposited it perfectly on top of the policeman's helmet.
Which was fine until it fell off, all down his uniform, and he bent down to survey the damage.
Whereupon Aunt 1 deposited the second plate upside down on the back of his neck.
At the subsequent trial the Magistrates were so unable to control their hysterics that the case was adjourned sine die.
All of them - real and courtesy - were, in my memory, eccentric. They had all had good wars ( I always thought they had the time of their lives then) and much of their conversation in the 50s and early 60s still reflected that.
One always referred to her "target for tonight" ( which I now know was usually a good looking chap), whilst another would ask of young people " Would you be young always if you could choose?" and then burst into uncontrollable laughter. I think this is because they loved being a bit older and hence free from supervision.
The one I never understood was " Many are called ( Scottish for cold) but few are frozen". This is presumably a bastardisation of " Many are called but few are chosen". I now think this referred to her many "beaus" and the very few she turned down.
My musings today were prompted by a story about a lady assaulting a police officer. She had punched and kicked him and the poor young man " sustained injuries" - goes to show how pathetic our police are nowadays. In the old days the cuffs would have been on before you could blink.
Anyway, two of my blood aunts had gone to a fishmongers to get dressed crab for their dinner. Unfortunately it was not ready so they repaired to the pub next door - and stayed there until closing time at 2:30. They still had closing time in the 50s.
When they came out, they weaved into the fish-shop, collected the crab, and started to wander home. The crab was on plates and was permanently in peril of landing face down on the pavement.
The village Bobby met them half-way up the street.
" Afternoon Mrs. Marshall - can I just help you with those plates?"
My Aunt drew herself up to her full height.
" Young man, I am perfectly capable of placing these plates precisely where I wish!"
" Yes I'm sure you are, but I just wanted to help." Whereupon the other Aunt chimed in.." And I can too!" grabbed one of the plates and deposited it perfectly on top of the policeman's helmet.
Which was fine until it fell off, all down his uniform, and he bent down to survey the damage.
Whereupon Aunt 1 deposited the second plate upside down on the back of his neck.
At the subsequent trial the Magistrates were so unable to control their hysterics that the case was adjourned sine die.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Macca long before Mucca
I used to shoot down on the Mull of Kintyre, very close to where Paul McCartney still has his Highland Estate.
When he and his extended family first moved there, one of the local farmers ( nearest the big hoose) decided it was only polite and neighbourly to ask, at the least, if he and his family would like to drop in for tea one day.
Much to Willie's astonishment, Macca said they would love to - which naturally set the cat amongst the pigeons as far as Willie's wife was concerned.
There was much baking and cleaning and general sprucing up.
The great day dawned and the McCartney family descended on the farmhouse for tea.
Needless to say it was excellent, and the two families got on really well. After tea all the children all went into the snug to watch the television.
Willie's wife had always been a great fan, and mentioned several of the gigs she had been to.
" Aw see that Yesterday song - Ah just melt when you sing that."
There was an upright piano in the corner.
" Would you like me to sing it for you?" says Sir P ( only he was just Paul then) as he sat down at the piano.
He opened the lid and struck the first couple of chords and that liquid voice gave out with "Yesterdaaay - all my troubles.." and that was as far as he got.
One of his daughters ( I have always imagined it was Stella) charged back into the room.
" Dad - for goodness sake stop that - we're trying to watch Startrek."
" Oh sorry darling." End of concert.
True story.
Nice man.
When he and his extended family first moved there, one of the local farmers ( nearest the big hoose) decided it was only polite and neighbourly to ask, at the least, if he and his family would like to drop in for tea one day.
Much to Willie's astonishment, Macca said they would love to - which naturally set the cat amongst the pigeons as far as Willie's wife was concerned.
There was much baking and cleaning and general sprucing up.
The great day dawned and the McCartney family descended on the farmhouse for tea.
Needless to say it was excellent, and the two families got on really well. After tea all the children all went into the snug to watch the television.
Willie's wife had always been a great fan, and mentioned several of the gigs she had been to.
" Aw see that Yesterday song - Ah just melt when you sing that."
There was an upright piano in the corner.
" Would you like me to sing it for you?" says Sir P ( only he was just Paul then) as he sat down at the piano.
He opened the lid and struck the first couple of chords and that liquid voice gave out with "Yesterdaaay - all my troubles.." and that was as far as he got.
One of his daughters ( I have always imagined it was Stella) charged back into the room.
" Dad - for goodness sake stop that - we're trying to watch Startrek."
" Oh sorry darling." End of concert.
True story.
Nice man.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Overheard in a London Cab
" Yu dan frum the Norf then?"
" Yes"
" You don't sand like it."
" No I moved there over 40 years ago."
" Oh, right "- pause-" So did you marry a Scots Lassie then?"
" Yes - it'll be 40 years next month."
" Oh, yer broke 6 mirrors then didja?HAR HAR HAR"
I think it's to do with 7 years bad luck for breaking a mirror.
" Yes"
" You don't sand like it."
" No I moved there over 40 years ago."
" Oh, right "- pause-" So did you marry a Scots Lassie then?"
" Yes - it'll be 40 years next month."
" Oh, yer broke 6 mirrors then didja?HAR HAR HAR"
I think it's to do with 7 years bad luck for breaking a mirror.
The Last Temptation of Chris
Stumbling and Mumbling has a very good "thought for the day" as he prepares to quit London.
I've always maintained that freedom was always an expression of will. If you want to earn squillions, you pretty much have to be in London to pay for the cars, the schooling, the big house etc etc. You need - what - £250,000 a year. But if you are prepared to forego much of this, perhaps you need as little as £20,000 pa.
Or much less if you really want to.
I've always maintained that freedom was always an expression of will. If you want to earn squillions, you pretty much have to be in London to pay for the cars, the schooling, the big house etc etc. You need - what - £250,000 a year. But if you are prepared to forego much of this, perhaps you need as little as £20,000 pa.
Or much less if you really want to.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Black Watch
Went to see this play which was commissioned by the National Theatre of Scotland and has been a huge success.
If it comes near you, you must see it. It is based on the Black Watch Regiment's experiences.
Most of the critics have mentioned it's antiwar, anti-establishment credentials, but in reality, it's message is much more powerful.
It's the politicians that have destroyed what the Army once had. It's not meant for sitting in barracks, doing nothing, sitting ducks for snipers and mortars and suicide bombers.
You would think they had learned that a static war was un-winable nearly 100 years ago. The Army needs to move and have proper intelligence, not be a political football.
The powers that be talk of a drop in recruiting. No wonder. The troops can't and don't believe in what they are doing.
Contrary to popular belief, our Army is made up of people who want to be in it and who are still the best fighting force in the world.
Unlike our snivelling politicians, with no knowledge of what soldiering means,no principles and a cynical disregard for courage and sacrifice.
In the end,as the actors say: " I fight for my regiment" " I fight for my platoon" " I fight for my section" " I fight for my mates".
They don't fight for Britain,nor for Scotland, and certainly NOT for this Government.
Postscript:
There was much talk during the play of " The Golden Thread" that ran through all the regiments at one time, being fathers, grandfathers, uncle and so on who served. As with so much else, this Government has wantonly destroyed that - and put nothing of value in its place.
If it comes near you, you must see it. It is based on the Black Watch Regiment's experiences.
Most of the critics have mentioned it's antiwar, anti-establishment credentials, but in reality, it's message is much more powerful.
It's the politicians that have destroyed what the Army once had. It's not meant for sitting in barracks, doing nothing, sitting ducks for snipers and mortars and suicide bombers.
You would think they had learned that a static war was un-winable nearly 100 years ago. The Army needs to move and have proper intelligence, not be a political football.
The powers that be talk of a drop in recruiting. No wonder. The troops can't and don't believe in what they are doing.
Contrary to popular belief, our Army is made up of people who want to be in it and who are still the best fighting force in the world.
Unlike our snivelling politicians, with no knowledge of what soldiering means,no principles and a cynical disregard for courage and sacrifice.
In the end,as the actors say: " I fight for my regiment" " I fight for my platoon" " I fight for my section" " I fight for my mates".
They don't fight for Britain,nor for Scotland, and certainly NOT for this Government.
Postscript:
There was much talk during the play of " The Golden Thread" that ran through all the regiments at one time, being fathers, grandfathers, uncle and so on who served. As with so much else, this Government has wantonly destroyed that - and put nothing of value in its place.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Things I didn't know
I found out from reading a book called "The Secret Orchard of Roger Ackerley" by Diana Petre that until the age of majority was reduce from 21 to 18, illegitimate children legally reached their majority at 18.
This means they were able to vote, incur debts and, probably most importantly, not be prevented from marriage or running away.
The book itself is a fascinating account of a second family maintained by a man from 1910 through to his death in 1929.
What was even more interesting to me was that many of the characters in the book are known to me, through the fruit business of Elders & Fyffe , and then through the friends of the mistress( Muriel)/second family and her record in both World Wars.
I can't help but think many men would happily maintain such a double life. My own family, for instance, is convinced I have a second family in Luton Airport. That's the airport, not the town.
I don't think that's quite what would be wanted.
This means they were able to vote, incur debts and, probably most importantly, not be prevented from marriage or running away.
The book itself is a fascinating account of a second family maintained by a man from 1910 through to his death in 1929.
What was even more interesting to me was that many of the characters in the book are known to me, through the fruit business of Elders & Fyffe , and then through the friends of the mistress( Muriel)/second family and her record in both World Wars.
I can't help but think many men would happily maintain such a double life. My own family, for instance, is convinced I have a second family in Luton Airport. That's the airport, not the town.
I don't think that's quite what would be wanted.
Iain Dale's Audi
Iain has been singing the praises of his new Audi with all it's jaw-dropping performance.
But here's a real advert for a real car:
" 0-100kmph in 21 seconds! Wind down windows! 25hp engine! Eco-friendly manufacture of paper,plastic & wood!"
By now I'm sure you've guessed this was for the latest Trabant some years ago.
It's delightful that the East German's thought it necessary to advertise wind down windows.I think this was as opposed to sliding ones.
In Hungary I read a translated advert for a bus trip - " Language speaking hostesses"
At least you don't have to know sign-language to get the message.
But here's a real advert for a real car:
" 0-100kmph in 21 seconds! Wind down windows! 25hp engine! Eco-friendly manufacture of paper,plastic & wood!"
By now I'm sure you've guessed this was for the latest Trabant some years ago.
It's delightful that the East German's thought it necessary to advertise wind down windows.I think this was as opposed to sliding ones.
In Hungary I read a translated advert for a bus trip - " Language speaking hostesses"
At least you don't have to know sign-language to get the message.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
The meaning of REAL happiness
The youngest Ms. Lear occasionally sends me articles which would appear to validate her idea that money grows on trees - and certainly isn't meant to be other than spent.
So I was particularly pleased with this which dropped in today.
Happiness is - well, happiness, and is not connected with very much apart from feeling happy because you are doing something.
So stop worrying about the credit crunch and where the next meal is coming from and do something that makes you happy.
It's certainly worked for her over the years.
So I was particularly pleased with this which dropped in today.
Happiness is - well, happiness, and is not connected with very much apart from feeling happy because you are doing something.
So stop worrying about the credit crunch and where the next meal is coming from and do something that makes you happy.
It's certainly worked for her over the years.
Local Action Group Medias
The main reason for my presence here in Romania this time was for the LAG meeting.
Progress is painfully slow, but I was pleased to hear from another association ( not a LAG) who came as observers, that they thought we were doing very well in 9 months, as it took them 8 years to become properly functional with all members pulling their weight.
Because it's election time, every village and town in the area is a hive of activity, with ditches being cleaned out, roads tarmaced, new playgrounds being constructed with proper benches, and a host of formal and informal lunches, dinners, drinks and promises for individual electors.
I read quite a nice story on Iain Dale's blog - a comment from an elector who was quite prepared to have female politicians sleep with him, but his vote would depend on the continuance of said sexual services. I can only say I hope the poor girls get a day off occasionally.
Mind you, I wouldn't be at all surprised if this wasn't on offer in Romania. Electioneering is still very much in the " It's a bribe, but, objectively, it's a bloody good bribe" being the most cogent argument in all circumstances.
But to return to the LAG. The real problem here is that it is very hard for people to believe that a group of people are working for the good of the whole community. They are only used to personal enrichment, so it is strange to them that we are saying in effect " put a small amount in and we will get you lots - but for the community, not the individual".
We have secured some funding from the World Bank which will enable us to get more people into our LAG, but also fund it properly for about 6 months. Our hope is that by then, some results will have filtered through, and be visible to all concerned. Simply the training on offer for free is worth while ( for example not one of the Mayors can do his own emails - but at least two of them have told me thay must learn)
The major bone of contention yesterday was a misunderstanding. Within the World Bank budget is a figure of USD2000 to bring in more members. One of our group said he thought it was bad that new members were going to be recompensed for attending meetings, and he would like recompensed as well.
It was pointed out to him that noone was going to be recompensed for attending, but merely to enable the LAG manager to visit other nearby areas and make his pitch. He immediately stated that he would not come again unless he was recompensed. It was pointed out to him that as he lived only about 200 yards from where the meetings invariably took place, he had no cost in actually getting there, and there were always snacks, cakes, coffee, and a variety of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks available once he got there.
" Ah, so you are saying this is our payment? Well, that is OK then" - and everyone was delighted that they were being "paid" to attend, as it meant they felt both worthy and rewarded.
If only loyalty could always be bought so cheaply.
Progress is painfully slow, but I was pleased to hear from another association ( not a LAG) who came as observers, that they thought we were doing very well in 9 months, as it took them 8 years to become properly functional with all members pulling their weight.
Because it's election time, every village and town in the area is a hive of activity, with ditches being cleaned out, roads tarmaced, new playgrounds being constructed with proper benches, and a host of formal and informal lunches, dinners, drinks and promises for individual electors.
I read quite a nice story on Iain Dale's blog - a comment from an elector who was quite prepared to have female politicians sleep with him, but his vote would depend on the continuance of said sexual services. I can only say I hope the poor girls get a day off occasionally.
Mind you, I wouldn't be at all surprised if this wasn't on offer in Romania. Electioneering is still very much in the " It's a bribe, but, objectively, it's a bloody good bribe" being the most cogent argument in all circumstances.
But to return to the LAG. The real problem here is that it is very hard for people to believe that a group of people are working for the good of the whole community. They are only used to personal enrichment, so it is strange to them that we are saying in effect " put a small amount in and we will get you lots - but for the community, not the individual".
We have secured some funding from the World Bank which will enable us to get more people into our LAG, but also fund it properly for about 6 months. Our hope is that by then, some results will have filtered through, and be visible to all concerned. Simply the training on offer for free is worth while ( for example not one of the Mayors can do his own emails - but at least two of them have told me thay must learn)
The major bone of contention yesterday was a misunderstanding. Within the World Bank budget is a figure of USD2000 to bring in more members. One of our group said he thought it was bad that new members were going to be recompensed for attending meetings, and he would like recompensed as well.
It was pointed out to him that noone was going to be recompensed for attending, but merely to enable the LAG manager to visit other nearby areas and make his pitch. He immediately stated that he would not come again unless he was recompensed. It was pointed out to him that as he lived only about 200 yards from where the meetings invariably took place, he had no cost in actually getting there, and there were always snacks, cakes, coffee, and a variety of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks available once he got there.
" Ah, so you are saying this is our payment? Well, that is OK then" - and everyone was delighted that they were being "paid" to attend, as it meant they felt both worthy and rewarded.
If only loyalty could always be bought so cheaply.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
A lovely day
Having escaped from Harris, then Glasgow and finally Budapest, I got back to Sighisoara this morning.
The sun was shining, the sky was a cornflower blue, and the temperature at mid-day was 23 C.
As I walked towards the Bank, a little old lady held out two small bunches of violets to me. She had a basket with about 10 bunches in all.
It transpired each bunch was the equivalent of 9p. So I gave her the equivalnet of GBP1 and took the lot.
I gave out three bunches in the Bank. I gave out 3 bunches at the lovely lawyer's. I gave two to Alin for his wife. I kept the last two and gave them to the lady who makes the most delicious "fornetti" which I buy every morning and which are like mini-sausagerolls, but filled with cheese or apple or apricots and so on, and which come in handy around 11am. She gave me a free bag this morning in exchange.
The main job this morning was trying to buy a new car. The car hire business is doing quite well; we have three bookings at the end of April and only two cars. We also have an arrangement with one of the car hire companies to use our cars when they are full, and it looks as if the summer is going to be really busy.
To cut a long story short, for Eur 200 per month we can have a brand new Logan, six years absolute warranty, airbags, aircon the lot, and in theory we therefore only need to rent it about 7 or 8 days per month on average over the year for it to pay for itself.
It's quite strange, my idea when I came here was all to do with property,houses and so on, and by accident I've fallen into a car renting business.
I think it's on the principle that if there's a gold strike, be the man who sells the picks and shovels.
The sun was shining, the sky was a cornflower blue, and the temperature at mid-day was 23 C.
As I walked towards the Bank, a little old lady held out two small bunches of violets to me. She had a basket with about 10 bunches in all.
It transpired each bunch was the equivalent of 9p. So I gave her the equivalnet of GBP1 and took the lot.
I gave out three bunches in the Bank. I gave out 3 bunches at the lovely lawyer's. I gave two to Alin for his wife. I kept the last two and gave them to the lady who makes the most delicious "fornetti" which I buy every morning and which are like mini-sausagerolls, but filled with cheese or apple or apricots and so on, and which come in handy around 11am. She gave me a free bag this morning in exchange.
The main job this morning was trying to buy a new car. The car hire business is doing quite well; we have three bookings at the end of April and only two cars. We also have an arrangement with one of the car hire companies to use our cars when they are full, and it looks as if the summer is going to be really busy.
To cut a long story short, for Eur 200 per month we can have a brand new Logan, six years absolute warranty, airbags, aircon the lot, and in theory we therefore only need to rent it about 7 or 8 days per month on average over the year for it to pay for itself.
It's quite strange, my idea when I came here was all to do with property,houses and so on, and by accident I've fallen into a car renting business.
I think it's on the principle that if there's a gold strike, be the man who sells the picks and shovels.
Monday, April 07, 2008
China TV
I was watching China TV in Budapest (don't ask) when the reports on the Olympic flame in London came on.
Now I had seen the BBC footage yesterday. I can1t say I recognised any of it. Most of the footage was taken from the Chintown area, lots of happy smiling people and nary a protester in sight.
Huge triumph as Broon the Gloom didn't touch the torch. ( How pathetic a man is he that he has to make a big thing out of this?)
As they used to say in exams, compare and contrast with Mrs. T. If she didn't think it was a good idea she would have shouted it from the rooftops.
There's a nice story from a Commonwealth Conference where she was alone in opposing sanctions on South Africa, as she was working behind the scenes to get Mandela freed.
When asked how it felt to be th lone diesnting voice with 48 other countries ranged aganst her, her reply was " I'm sorrythat they are in the wrong" Lets have a bit more belief and conviction and principle. If Britain isn't ready for the truth now it never will be.
It's lasted her more than 18 years beyond her leaving office.
Now I had seen the BBC footage yesterday. I can1t say I recognised any of it. Most of the footage was taken from the Chintown area, lots of happy smiling people and nary a protester in sight.
Huge triumph as Broon the Gloom didn't touch the torch. ( How pathetic a man is he that he has to make a big thing out of this?)
As they used to say in exams, compare and contrast with Mrs. T. If she didn't think it was a good idea she would have shouted it from the rooftops.
There's a nice story from a Commonwealth Conference where she was alone in opposing sanctions on South Africa, as she was working behind the scenes to get Mandela freed.
When asked how it felt to be th lone diesnting voice with 48 other countries ranged aganst her, her reply was " I'm sorrythat they are in the wrong" Lets have a bit more belief and conviction and principle. If Britain isn't ready for the truth now it never will be.
It's lasted her more than 18 years beyond her leaving office.
Dizzy and Berlusconis Quote
" Of course the left love the poor. They love them so much that every time they get into power they make many more of them"
Well spotted Dizzy, and too true Silvio.
Well spotted Dizzy, and too true Silvio.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Our society
I have long been an admirer of Isaac Bashevis Singer. His later books are less good than his earlier work, but he retains an imagination and an ability to evoke " the old country" better than most of the younger generation.
I am always taken with his quotations from the Mishna, the Talmud or Gemara. These may have been meant for a nomadic tribe a couple of thousand years ago, but many of the sayings remain true.
The one I most recently took to was:
"Those who pity the wicked are cruel to the just"
Isn't this exactly what's wrong with our society? We bend over backwards to be nice to thieves, rapists, murderers, illegal immigrants and many more. Who pays for this, both physically and in cash? Why, we, the just, do. Ok we may not necessarily be "Just" in the OT sense, but we are certainly Mr. and Mrs. Average who pays their taxes and abides by the rules.
It's a truism, but I regret to say that the Government finds it easy to prey on law-abiding people.
I am always taken with his quotations from the Mishna, the Talmud or Gemara. These may have been meant for a nomadic tribe a couple of thousand years ago, but many of the sayings remain true.
The one I most recently took to was:
"Those who pity the wicked are cruel to the just"
Isn't this exactly what's wrong with our society? We bend over backwards to be nice to thieves, rapists, murderers, illegal immigrants and many more. Who pays for this, both physically and in cash? Why, we, the just, do. Ok we may not necessarily be "Just" in the OT sense, but we are certainly Mr. and Mrs. Average who pays their taxes and abides by the rules.
It's a truism, but I regret to say that the Government finds it easy to prey on law-abiding people.
Bulgar hides in Funeral Parlour
That was the headline I read the other day in a newspaper.
I know I'm getting on a bit, and my eyes have been pretty poor since I was 12, and sometimes I just don't get the words right.
I had visions of a Bulgarian in national costume pretending to be dead, whilst the Immigration services searched for him.
Unfortunately, when I read the article, it was actually a BURGLAR.
And they spotted him in the coffin because he was wearing work clothes.
Shame.
I know I'm getting on a bit, and my eyes have been pretty poor since I was 12, and sometimes I just don't get the words right.
I had visions of a Bulgarian in national costume pretending to be dead, whilst the Immigration services searched for him.
Unfortunately, when I read the article, it was actually a BURGLAR.
And they spotted him in the coffin because he was wearing work clothes.
Shame.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
The Lewis Chessmen
Just having spent a few days on Harris ( in case you think you might go there, don't - unless you really like walking, and then only on roads or beaches as the hills are liable to swallow you in the bogs) I spent a while looking at the remains of the Lewis Chessmen.
To be more exact, the house where we were staying had a set laid out.
I'm not sure they are exact replicas, but a couple of the pieces certainly looked as if they were taken from the life of the relevant era.
The Queens were clutching drinking horns, showing an early predilection for the alcoholism commonly associated with the Outer Isles.With a hand up to their cheeks, and very worried expressions on their faces, they looked dead ringers for matrons from Tonbridge Wells.
The Kings, on the other hand, were looking extremely grumpy, clutching swords across their knees in an attempt to ward off the next potential assassin. Their raping and pillaging days were clearly over, which is why they looked grumpy I imagine. They probably had to keep awake in case they were set on in the night, I suppose they couldn't even have a decent drink either.
So my view would be they deserved each other, these Kings and Queens.
At least, if I lived out there, I would definitely be both grumpy and an alcoholic.
To be more exact, the house where we were staying had a set laid out.
I'm not sure they are exact replicas, but a couple of the pieces certainly looked as if they were taken from the life of the relevant era.
The Queens were clutching drinking horns, showing an early predilection for the alcoholism commonly associated with the Outer Isles.With a hand up to their cheeks, and very worried expressions on their faces, they looked dead ringers for matrons from Tonbridge Wells.
The Kings, on the other hand, were looking extremely grumpy, clutching swords across their knees in an attempt to ward off the next potential assassin. Their raping and pillaging days were clearly over, which is why they looked grumpy I imagine. They probably had to keep awake in case they were set on in the night, I suppose they couldn't even have a decent drink either.
So my view would be they deserved each other, these Kings and Queens.
At least, if I lived out there, I would definitely be both grumpy and an alcoholic.
T5
From BA's in-flight magazine:
" Fast not furious! Check-in at BA's new T5 shouldn't take more than 5 minutes!"
" Life is a carousel! We can handle over 12,000 bags an hour with our super-sophisticated software!"
" Over 90% of transit passengers can connect through T5"
Actually, I don't blame Naomi Campbell.
" Fast not furious! Check-in at BA's new T5 shouldn't take more than 5 minutes!"
" Life is a carousel! We can handle over 12,000 bags an hour with our super-sophisticated software!"
" Over 90% of transit passengers can connect through T5"
Actually, I don't blame Naomi Campbell.
Orgy!
That was the ehadline regarding Max Moseley and 5 prostitutes and nazi uniforms.
I'm not so sure.
What would you say constitutes an orgy? I think 5 women and 1 man is a bit light on the orgiastic stakes. Myself I would insist on a minimum of 10 participants of whom at least 2 must be male.
Now you may think this sexist. After all, there's nothing to stop an all-male or all-female orgy I suppose, but having done Latin as a child, my view of orgies has always been somewhat coloured by images of people lounging around on sofas with very few clothes on, groping each other. And there were always men & women involved.
I think when only one man is involved I would invoke the comment of Lord Lambton many years ago, when caught in bed with a mere two prostitutes.
" I think the ordinary man in the street would only have two words to say: Lucky bugger"
He may have tried that with them too for all I know.
I'm not so sure.
What would you say constitutes an orgy? I think 5 women and 1 man is a bit light on the orgiastic stakes. Myself I would insist on a minimum of 10 participants of whom at least 2 must be male.
Now you may think this sexist. After all, there's nothing to stop an all-male or all-female orgy I suppose, but having done Latin as a child, my view of orgies has always been somewhat coloured by images of people lounging around on sofas with very few clothes on, groping each other. And there were always men & women involved.
I think when only one man is involved I would invoke the comment of Lord Lambton many years ago, when caught in bed with a mere two prostitutes.
" I think the ordinary man in the street would only have two words to say: Lucky bugger"
He may have tried that with them too for all I know.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Decadence
What's your idea of decadence? Is it sipping champagne from a ladies slipper? Having naked young women peel you a grape?
Being a chap, I can only think that decadence involves nubile young ladies doing things for you ( in the spirit of peeling grapes, feeding you ortolan piece by piece and so on).
But what would a lady regard as decadent? I don't have a clue. I can only ever think of men "being" decadent. The girls are there to help him, not actually be decadent themselves.
Maybe it's a bit like the self-sacrifice thing. Some time ago, I postulated that there were no female equivalents in literature of Cyrano de Bergerac, who gave up everything so his love could have the dolt she wanted. I would happily stand to be corrected here, but please note I am NOT suggesting merely dying as an alternative.
The thought does strike me that it might be better to be the dolt.
Being a chap, I can only think that decadence involves nubile young ladies doing things for you ( in the spirit of peeling grapes, feeding you ortolan piece by piece and so on).
But what would a lady regard as decadent? I don't have a clue. I can only ever think of men "being" decadent. The girls are there to help him, not actually be decadent themselves.
Maybe it's a bit like the self-sacrifice thing. Some time ago, I postulated that there were no female equivalents in literature of Cyrano de Bergerac, who gave up everything so his love could have the dolt she wanted. I would happily stand to be corrected here, but please note I am NOT suggesting merely dying as an alternative.
The thought does strike me that it might be better to be the dolt.
Search for a Nancy
Actually I think it's called I'll do anything, but anyway, it's for the new Oliver!
Nancy, of course, is now a non-pc word for homosexual man ( please note its from HOMOS as in the same ( Greek) as opposed to Latin HOMO = man). Having Graham Norton involved seems a bit voracious but there you are.
The point is that Kevin Spacey ( whose own sexuality would appear a touch light in the Timberlands, but who knows?) has spoken out about a " thirteen week promotion for musicals".
And he's quite right. Why should the musicals, the opera etc etc get these free adverts when straight theatre ( I'm getting in a bit deep here) doesn't get a mention? Plays are only represented in something like 20% of West End London theatres at the moment, and certainly none that could be called " experimental" or " new".
I've said it before here, unless we make an effort to get away from what can only be called the dumbed-down performances of musicals, within a generation there will be no real theatre, and only pathetic celebrities from East Enders as our actors.
Larry, John and Nigel must be turning in their graves.
Nancy, of course, is now a non-pc word for homosexual man ( please note its from HOMOS as in the same ( Greek) as opposed to Latin HOMO = man). Having Graham Norton involved seems a bit voracious but there you are.
The point is that Kevin Spacey ( whose own sexuality would appear a touch light in the Timberlands, but who knows?) has spoken out about a " thirteen week promotion for musicals".
And he's quite right. Why should the musicals, the opera etc etc get these free adverts when straight theatre ( I'm getting in a bit deep here) doesn't get a mention? Plays are only represented in something like 20% of West End London theatres at the moment, and certainly none that could be called " experimental" or " new".
I've said it before here, unless we make an effort to get away from what can only be called the dumbed-down performances of musicals, within a generation there will be no real theatre, and only pathetic celebrities from East Enders as our actors.
Larry, John and Nigel must be turning in their graves.
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