What do you do if you are walking around the park with your Dog? I always say " 'Morning" in a clear, straight-out kind of way to everyone I walk past.
As I have now been doing this for some time - and as the Dog is known to lots of people from his walks with Mrs. Lear during the week - I am invariably greeted more effusively than my somewhat flat delivery would warrant.
The problem is, I have no idea who these people are. I recognise some of the dogs ( that's not quite right, the Dog knows the dogs) but, as far as I know, I have little in common with the owners.
So, as a sort of sop, I have instituted a gradation of " Hellos"
People without dogs get the usual " 'Morning."
Those with dogs, who the Dog ignores, but who I have seen before get the full, (stressed first word) "Good Morning."
Those with dogs that the Dog knows, and I recognise, get " Hi there!"
I feel I am doing my bit for good neighbourliness.
I was, however, somewhat taken aback this morning, when, after the "Good Morning" greeting, I quite distinctly heard the lady to whom it was addressed shout " Shut UP!"
On further investigation I noticed she had a mobile clamped to her ear, invisible under the hair and on the other side from where I was walking. I had involuntarily stopped in surprise.
" Shut UP! SHUT UP!" she shrieked. I thought it best to continue walking.
Except, the Dog had decided this was a good spot to stop and sniff, to get the news of the day.
So I stood there somewhat awkwardly as this outwardly respectable lady swore and cursed whoever was at the other end of the call - words a lady should never use I'm sure, but probably frequently does.
She made no attempt to move away, or lower her voice , or moderate her language whilst she berated the poor unfortunate - whose, crime, it would appear, was that HE ( of course) had gone off to do something , when she really really wanted to do something else NOW!
To cut a long story short, the conversation ceased abruptly. At which point the Dog started to move again, and I made to follow him.
" Lovely day!" said the lady waving gaily and walking off.
She had clearly got it all off her chest, and was now quite content, having made his day miserable.
More anon.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Friday, September 07, 2007
Sex and the Economy
I'm going to get into terrible trouble from all sorts of people for this post, but I feel I should share it with you.
The other evening, we had some friends in who were talking about a friend of theirs ( Mr.X) who had dumped his wife in exchange for a much younger, but Korean version. When they had been introduced, the wife of our guests says, this Miss Korea 2005 had sat looking immaculate, answering her husband's every whim. Now our friend's wife said that the feeling had been that Miss Korea 2005 was being exploted by the husband, but further investigation showed this might not be the case. In fact, she travelled around in business class, she had a nanny to look after the children, she had money to buy what she wanted, and all she had to do was , er, service her husband. A form of prostitution? Well, yes, but what about the wife of the person she was visiting? She worked, bought the food, cooked it, looked largely like a worn out old sweater, had to drive the children all over the place - anyway you get the picture. Who is doing the most exploitation? The husband of the Scottish girl or the Korean?
Anyway, this set my economist instincts twitching. Mrs. Lear, when a student in Florence, had a friend who was male who used to ask the local prostitutes what they charged, and wrote the answers in a little book. I'm not sure quite why he was doing this, unless he was trying to get a freebie.
So lets start with a basic premise - suppose it costs £100 for a man to have sex. Now I know it can be much less or much more, but bear with me.
According to research, it's not the French or the Italians who have the most sex, but an average European 25-45 year old male has sex three times a week. Forget older and younger for the moment. So that would cost him £300 per week with a prostitute or say £15,000 a year.
If, on the other hand, he marries, the sex is free. Actually, in economic terms, it is not.
What is the cost of the house, the children etc etc - even if the wife works, the man has a cost which probably isn't a million miles away from the £15,000 postulated above.
Where his sex becomes really expensive, is if he gets a divorce, and has to hand over half his assets - driving up the economic cost per session enormously. A 45 year old divorcing and handing over eg £250,000 increases his costs to about £200 a time.
So my thoughts on the young man in Florence are that he had already glimpsed a potential Nobel Economics Prize-winning postulation - that it is cheaper to have sex than get a divorce.
The other evening, we had some friends in who were talking about a friend of theirs ( Mr.X) who had dumped his wife in exchange for a much younger, but Korean version. When they had been introduced, the wife of our guests says, this Miss Korea 2005 had sat looking immaculate, answering her husband's every whim. Now our friend's wife said that the feeling had been that Miss Korea 2005 was being exploted by the husband, but further investigation showed this might not be the case. In fact, she travelled around in business class, she had a nanny to look after the children, she had money to buy what she wanted, and all she had to do was , er, service her husband. A form of prostitution? Well, yes, but what about the wife of the person she was visiting? She worked, bought the food, cooked it, looked largely like a worn out old sweater, had to drive the children all over the place - anyway you get the picture. Who is doing the most exploitation? The husband of the Scottish girl or the Korean?
Anyway, this set my economist instincts twitching. Mrs. Lear, when a student in Florence, had a friend who was male who used to ask the local prostitutes what they charged, and wrote the answers in a little book. I'm not sure quite why he was doing this, unless he was trying to get a freebie.
So lets start with a basic premise - suppose it costs £100 for a man to have sex. Now I know it can be much less or much more, but bear with me.
According to research, it's not the French or the Italians who have the most sex, but an average European 25-45 year old male has sex three times a week. Forget older and younger for the moment. So that would cost him £300 per week with a prostitute or say £15,000 a year.
If, on the other hand, he marries, the sex is free. Actually, in economic terms, it is not.
What is the cost of the house, the children etc etc - even if the wife works, the man has a cost which probably isn't a million miles away from the £15,000 postulated above.
Where his sex becomes really expensive, is if he gets a divorce, and has to hand over half his assets - driving up the economic cost per session enormously. A 45 year old divorcing and handing over eg £250,000 increases his costs to about £200 a time.
So my thoughts on the young man in Florence are that he had already glimpsed a potential Nobel Economics Prize-winning postulation - that it is cheaper to have sex than get a divorce.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
A billion here , a billion there....
Well, another $57 billion actually. The ECB lobbed it into the pot today, just to be sure. I make it about $400billion in total they've rammed down the collective throats of the markets.
Not that the good old BoE has done anything.
The other really interesting thing is from Wall Streets current gyrations is that someone, somewhere has clearly been tipped the wink of a cut in the Fed rate - or a massive bailout.
UPDATE: Er, another $30 odd billion between ECB and the Fed today.
Not that the good old BoE has done anything.
The other really interesting thing is from Wall Streets current gyrations is that someone, somewhere has clearly been tipped the wink of a cut in the Fed rate - or a massive bailout.
UPDATE: Er, another $30 odd billion between ECB and the Fed today.
Transylvania
Someone has taught me how to do pictures here, so I thought you might like a look at Transylvania.The picture above is of a typical Saxon town, called Cloasterf. The Church/Citadel is the defining part of these villages, all of which are between 5 and 8 km apart. Their primary use was defensive against invading Turks and Ottomans.
This is is a typical area - note the farm track and hay ricks. Also the lack of trees.
Engineers & Scientists do NOT have all the answers
Lovely story in the Telegraph today.
Apparently, Nepalese Airlines ( they of the Gurkha persuasion) were having some problems with one of their Boeing 757s. The mechanics fixed it, the engineers checked it out, and still it wouldn't work.
So they called in a Shaman. Now, this is not, to be fair, usual Boeing procedure, but in this case the man on the ground decided this was the right course of action.
Having checked out the problem, the Shaman said " Go and get two goats".
He then proceeded to slaughter them in the 'plane ( presumably using his kukri).
I can imagine the Boeing's man's thoughts - and his face.
Wiping his kukri on his coat, the Shaman opined all would now be well. Picking up the goats ( after all, waste not, want not) off he toddled, leaving a rather thunderstruck group on the 'plane.
Once they recovered themselves - and cleaned up the mess - the chief engineer said they had better see if something else was wrong, but first, try it again.
All went absolutely perfectly. They checked and checked - nothing had apparently changed, but now it worked.
So the next time the clotheswasher won't work, slaughter a goat inside it. One should do the trick if you only need two for a 757.
Apparently, Nepalese Airlines ( they of the Gurkha persuasion) were having some problems with one of their Boeing 757s. The mechanics fixed it, the engineers checked it out, and still it wouldn't work.
So they called in a Shaman. Now, this is not, to be fair, usual Boeing procedure, but in this case the man on the ground decided this was the right course of action.
Having checked out the problem, the Shaman said " Go and get two goats".
He then proceeded to slaughter them in the 'plane ( presumably using his kukri).
I can imagine the Boeing's man's thoughts - and his face.
Wiping his kukri on his coat, the Shaman opined all would now be well. Picking up the goats ( after all, waste not, want not) off he toddled, leaving a rather thunderstruck group on the 'plane.
Once they recovered themselves - and cleaned up the mess - the chief engineer said they had better see if something else was wrong, but first, try it again.
All went absolutely perfectly. They checked and checked - nothing had apparently changed, but now it worked.
So the next time the clotheswasher won't work, slaughter a goat inside it. One should do the trick if you only need two for a 757.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Baumol's disease
Chris Dillow ( www.stumblingandmumbling.typepad.com), who I am getting to like more and more, has an excellent piece on school productivity, which, if you have read Graeme Archer on Platform10 about schooling today, should give everyone involved in education and paying for it pause for thought.
In essence, Baumol's Disease says that, because you continue to increase salaries and the cost of inputs (=buildings) by definition the productivity of school teachers falls ( see article below*).
Now anyone in business knows this. Paying someone £50,000 to do a non-producing job ( that's a paper-shuffler to you and me) instead of the £45,000 you gave them last year is supposed to increase their "productivity" As far as I am concerned, you can only send so many emails, type so many letters and have so many meetings in a year. If, on the other hand, you give someone £50,000 a year for producing not 45,000 widgets (when they were on £45,000), but 55,000, their productivity has increased.
So, to get back to education, what do we want out of it? The answer is we want a workforce that can read, write, do arithmetic , and a certain number of doctors ,dentists,chemists, phycisits etc etc.
So let's stop pretending noone can fail. When I did my A levels, the pass mark was adjusted up or down so that 30% ALWAYS failed. This meant you could fail even if you got eg 60%, if 70% of the candidates did better than you. This helped the Universities to have classes that were actually ready for tertiary education ( unlike the present system where universities are having to hold summer classes to prepare students. They even need to be taught how to write an essay, for God's sake.)
Draw a line. Stop debasing exams and inflating expectations. Make sure that pupils do NOT leave primary without basic skills.
And we might just have a workforce that can take on the Indians and Chinese in a few years time. Just think - how many British school children speak Chinese? How many are learning it? It doesn't matter, because 100% of Chinese children are learning English. Yeah, right.
*
Baumol's cost disease (also known as the Baumol Effect) is a phenomenon described by William J. Baumol and William G. Bowen in the 1960s. The original study was conducted for the performing arts sector. Baumol and Bowen pointed out that the same number of musicians are needed to play a Beethoven string quartet today as were needed in the 1800s; that is, the productivity of Classical music performance has not increased.
In a range of businesses, such as the car manufacturing sector and the retail sector, workers are continually getting more productive due to technological innovations to their tools and equipment. In contrast, in some labor-intensive sectors that rely heavily on human interaction or activities, such as nursing, education, or the performing arts there is little or no growth in productivity over time. As with the string quartet example, it takes nurses the same amount of time to change a bandage, or college professors the same amount of time to mark an essay, in 2006 as it did in 1966.
Baumol's cost disease is often used to describe the lack of growth in productivity in public services such as public hospitals and state colleges. Since many public administration activities are heavily labor-intensive and have a limited desirable provider-customer ratio, there is little growth in productivity over time. As a result, the costs of the bureaucracy will inflate quicker than the growth in the GDP.( courtesy of Wikipedia)
Chris Dillow's conclusion is you need to cut functions - as in get rid of the bureaucrats.
In essence, Baumol's Disease says that, because you continue to increase salaries and the cost of inputs (=buildings) by definition the productivity of school teachers falls ( see article below*).
Now anyone in business knows this. Paying someone £50,000 to do a non-producing job ( that's a paper-shuffler to you and me) instead of the £45,000 you gave them last year is supposed to increase their "productivity" As far as I am concerned, you can only send so many emails, type so many letters and have so many meetings in a year. If, on the other hand, you give someone £50,000 a year for producing not 45,000 widgets (when they were on £45,000), but 55,000, their productivity has increased.
So, to get back to education, what do we want out of it? The answer is we want a workforce that can read, write, do arithmetic , and a certain number of doctors ,dentists,chemists, phycisits etc etc.
So let's stop pretending noone can fail. When I did my A levels, the pass mark was adjusted up or down so that 30% ALWAYS failed. This meant you could fail even if you got eg 60%, if 70% of the candidates did better than you. This helped the Universities to have classes that were actually ready for tertiary education ( unlike the present system where universities are having to hold summer classes to prepare students. They even need to be taught how to write an essay, for God's sake.)
Draw a line. Stop debasing exams and inflating expectations. Make sure that pupils do NOT leave primary without basic skills.
And we might just have a workforce that can take on the Indians and Chinese in a few years time. Just think - how many British school children speak Chinese? How many are learning it? It doesn't matter, because 100% of Chinese children are learning English. Yeah, right.
*
Baumol's cost disease (also known as the Baumol Effect) is a phenomenon described by William J. Baumol and William G. Bowen in the 1960s. The original study was conducted for the performing arts sector. Baumol and Bowen pointed out that the same number of musicians are needed to play a Beethoven string quartet today as were needed in the 1800s; that is, the productivity of Classical music performance has not increased.
In a range of businesses, such as the car manufacturing sector and the retail sector, workers are continually getting more productive due to technological innovations to their tools and equipment. In contrast, in some labor-intensive sectors that rely heavily on human interaction or activities, such as nursing, education, or the performing arts there is little or no growth in productivity over time. As with the string quartet example, it takes nurses the same amount of time to change a bandage, or college professors the same amount of time to mark an essay, in 2006 as it did in 1966.
Baumol's cost disease is often used to describe the lack of growth in productivity in public services such as public hospitals and state colleges. Since many public administration activities are heavily labor-intensive and have a limited desirable provider-customer ratio, there is little growth in productivity over time. As a result, the costs of the bureaucracy will inflate quicker than the growth in the GDP.( courtesy of Wikipedia)
Chris Dillow's conclusion is you need to cut functions - as in get rid of the bureaucrats.
True story
Accroding to The Herald's Diary,at the Celtic European game the other night, the game went to extra time and penalties.
As time went on, a voice was heard from the back of the stand " For F***s sake, get a move on. The wean's got school the morn."
The translation is " Please hurry up, my son has to go to school in the morning."
As time went on, a voice was heard from the back of the stand " For F***s sake, get a move on. The wean's got school the morn."
The translation is " Please hurry up, my son has to go to school in the morning."
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
An extra bad hair day
I got this today by email. It's from a lady in her late forties.
" An old friend of mine married (2nd time round - not that its relevant) a rather wealthy air freight company owner a few years ago .They had a son - she was desperate for children (hence ditching first husband) & all seemed well - large fancy house, no longer worked, own BMW (tacky I know but it was a la mode in those days) . She came home from shopping one day & found him dead - died intestate - mega problems- especially as his "ex" wife turned up with 2 sons - chatted to my friend B. & it transpired they had never divorced. She then said to B. what provision had been made for her ?(nothing naturally) .Next his mistress contacted her - the rent had not been paid on her flat or on her hairdressing salon. Then the Inland Revenue turned up - unpaid inc tax for employees - then the boss of the company turned up re fiddling of VAT - so on & so on. The crowning glory came with another mistress from Isle of Man turning up at the funeral - she thought he was on business trip opening another office in North east hence he'd not be in touch for a week or so. B. had a breakdown !!!! Now she is living with chap No.3- who seems a bit flaky - some folks never learn - he is much younger than her (ie 22years) - there is a certain time of life when (no matter how much nipping & tucking a woman has) the flesh gets weak & sags & is not pretty to look at with or without the light. But she seems to enjoy herself - her son now lives in US & is not impressed I gather !! But the legit wife naturally had all the problems of the financial side to bear but everyone lost their houses & business !!!"
So the next time someone says they're having a bad hair day, think on.
" An old friend of mine married (2nd time round - not that its relevant) a rather wealthy air freight company owner a few years ago .They had a son - she was desperate for children (hence ditching first husband) & all seemed well - large fancy house, no longer worked, own BMW (tacky I know but it was a la mode in those days) . She came home from shopping one day & found him dead - died intestate - mega problems- especially as his "ex" wife turned up with 2 sons - chatted to my friend B. & it transpired they had never divorced. She then said to B. what provision had been made for her ?(nothing naturally) .Next his mistress contacted her - the rent had not been paid on her flat or on her hairdressing salon. Then the Inland Revenue turned up - unpaid inc tax for employees - then the boss of the company turned up re fiddling of VAT - so on & so on. The crowning glory came with another mistress from Isle of Man turning up at the funeral - she thought he was on business trip opening another office in North east hence he'd not be in touch for a week or so. B. had a breakdown !!!! Now she is living with chap No.3- who seems a bit flaky - some folks never learn - he is much younger than her (ie 22years) - there is a certain time of life when (no matter how much nipping & tucking a woman has) the flesh gets weak & sags & is not pretty to look at with or without the light. But she seems to enjoy herself - her son now lives in US & is not impressed I gather !! But the legit wife naturally had all the problems of the financial side to bear but everyone lost their houses & business !!!"
So the next time someone says they're having a bad hair day, think on.
Atonement
As part of my BAFTA duties, we went to see Atonement tonight.
It's OK. It's nowhere as good as the critics are saying, but then, they've had nothing to actually " criticise" for some time. The summer's blockbusters don't require their efforts - even if they panned them to a man or woman they would still have the dosh rolling in.
This actually gives them something to get their teeth into - a BOOK for God's sake. As the BAFTA Director said this evening " See? Write a book and get lots of people to come to see the film."
It's a tad slow in pace, and, as with most films nowadays, 15 minutes cut out of it wouldn't make much difference, and would sharpen the tension.
The best acting was the young girl playing Briony Tallis. The divine Keira was fine, except I do wish she would eat a few more potatoes and a hunk or two of bread. It might help her dress to have some shape. But an Oscar? Not unless they give them just for looking lovely.
Which is always possible.
It's OK. It's nowhere as good as the critics are saying, but then, they've had nothing to actually " criticise" for some time. The summer's blockbusters don't require their efforts - even if they panned them to a man or woman they would still have the dosh rolling in.
This actually gives them something to get their teeth into - a BOOK for God's sake. As the BAFTA Director said this evening " See? Write a book and get lots of people to come to see the film."
It's a tad slow in pace, and, as with most films nowadays, 15 minutes cut out of it wouldn't make much difference, and would sharpen the tension.
The best acting was the young girl playing Briony Tallis. The divine Keira was fine, except I do wish she would eat a few more potatoes and a hunk or two of bread. It might help her dress to have some shape. But an Oscar? Not unless they give them just for looking lovely.
Which is always possible.
Monday, September 03, 2007
The five people who most influenced my life
Secrets and Subterfuge, better known as 007.5 , has a piece about a book she is reading.
In it, the hero ( for all sorts of reasons) after his death meets the five people who have influenced him most.
Now, you could be influenced by obscure people who you can't remember I suppose, but I have a very clear idea of those who have influenced me.
The first would be my old maths teacher, who is still alive. In truth, he wasn't that much older than me when he was teaching me, but he always had a gravitas and knowledge which has ever surpassed my own. One of the things he instilled in me was a love of the theatre, which you might think strange from a maths teacher. But that is the sort of person he remains.
The second was the headmaster at the same time. For a variety of reasons, I had to sit next to him, his wife, or a visiting dignitary at lunch every day for over a year. I'm never too sure whether it made a man of me or scarred me for life.
Third would be my mother.
Fourth would be my first girlfriend. After we went our separate ways, I contracted mumps and my landlady threw me out on the street at 1am - in pajamas and a rug. Now young men must not move when they have mumps, for fear of ruining their matrimonial prospects.The only person I could phone was the Miss Ex Girlfriend ( they were Miss in those days, and described as girlfriends) who took me in and looked after me for over three weeks. I'm convinced, had it not been for her, I would never have had children.
Finally, it would have to be the banker who first lent me money. I don't mean £50, I mean for a deal - for a business deal. In those days, the manager of the branch took 95% of all lending decisions, based on their experience and knowledge of the customer. Only when it got to be a big sum did it go up the line.Now you can't even get to talk to anyone unless you already owe them £250,000 - and you want to borrow another similar amount. But then, the middle-aged man, approaching retirement ( and yes, it was always a man) would discuss your requirements, make suggestions, and probably put you in touch with some of his other customers who might be useful.
Anyway, this man, when I asked for an appointment, immediately ushered me into his office, and offered me a seat. I think I was 19 at the time, and he treated me both with respect and as an adult. This was all the more extraordinary, as, then, you could not be held responsible for debts incurred before the age of 21 - or vote for that matter.
But he listened gravely, asked a couple of questions, and agreed that he would lend me the money.
And then he said: " Just remember, it's not your money, or my money, or even the Bank's money. It belongs to all the people who entrust their lifesavings to us. So look after it."
If only people had the same view today.
In it, the hero ( for all sorts of reasons) after his death meets the five people who have influenced him most.
Now, you could be influenced by obscure people who you can't remember I suppose, but I have a very clear idea of those who have influenced me.
The first would be my old maths teacher, who is still alive. In truth, he wasn't that much older than me when he was teaching me, but he always had a gravitas and knowledge which has ever surpassed my own. One of the things he instilled in me was a love of the theatre, which you might think strange from a maths teacher. But that is the sort of person he remains.
The second was the headmaster at the same time. For a variety of reasons, I had to sit next to him, his wife, or a visiting dignitary at lunch every day for over a year. I'm never too sure whether it made a man of me or scarred me for life.
Third would be my mother.
Fourth would be my first girlfriend. After we went our separate ways, I contracted mumps and my landlady threw me out on the street at 1am - in pajamas and a rug. Now young men must not move when they have mumps, for fear of ruining their matrimonial prospects.The only person I could phone was the Miss Ex Girlfriend ( they were Miss in those days, and described as girlfriends) who took me in and looked after me for over three weeks. I'm convinced, had it not been for her, I would never have had children.
Finally, it would have to be the banker who first lent me money. I don't mean £50, I mean for a deal - for a business deal. In those days, the manager of the branch took 95% of all lending decisions, based on their experience and knowledge of the customer. Only when it got to be a big sum did it go up the line.Now you can't even get to talk to anyone unless you already owe them £250,000 - and you want to borrow another similar amount. But then, the middle-aged man, approaching retirement ( and yes, it was always a man) would discuss your requirements, make suggestions, and probably put you in touch with some of his other customers who might be useful.
Anyway, this man, when I asked for an appointment, immediately ushered me into his office, and offered me a seat. I think I was 19 at the time, and he treated me both with respect and as an adult. This was all the more extraordinary, as, then, you could not be held responsible for debts incurred before the age of 21 - or vote for that matter.
But he listened gravely, asked a couple of questions, and agreed that he would lend me the money.
And then he said: " Just remember, it's not your money, or my money, or even the Bank's money. It belongs to all the people who entrust their lifesavings to us. So look after it."
If only people had the same view today.
The Death of Theatre
Jim White has an exceptionally good piece in the Telegraph today about the death of West End Theatre, killed off by The Musical.
I wrote about this some time ago. He argues that Sir Peter Halls exceptional Pygmalion is not transferring. It has played to full audiences of a somewhat more discerning character than the usual mixture of tourists and bus coach tours that make up a West End audience nowadays. White says that the audiences that were going to Pygmalion were precisely those which used to sustain Theatre as a whole in the UK, and are, in his words, discerning, thoughtful and grown-up.
This is just one more of the things that is being lost in our country. Quite a number of the audiences I would think have actually read the play - and probably a few more by Shaw as well. But as he is no longer taught, as English becomes beyond the grasp of our dumbed-down school children, as actors turn more and more to America, film and TV to make their money, we will lose something that can never be replaced, and something that set the UK apart from pretty much every other country in the world.
The final insult is that the theatre which might have been going to take Pygmalion is getting a musical - Bad Girls: The Musical! ( don't forget the exclamation mark), based on the gut-wrenchingly awful ITV Drama - and before you say you liked it, I can only tell you most of the population didn't.
Call me a snob and elitist if you will, but man never made any progress by lowering expectations. In fact, his finest hours have been when ( as that great song from Man of La Mancha had it, he dreamt " the impossible dream, to strive when all hope is gone, to reach the untouchable star".
And yes, I have read the original.
I wrote about this some time ago. He argues that Sir Peter Halls exceptional Pygmalion is not transferring. It has played to full audiences of a somewhat more discerning character than the usual mixture of tourists and bus coach tours that make up a West End audience nowadays. White says that the audiences that were going to Pygmalion were precisely those which used to sustain Theatre as a whole in the UK, and are, in his words, discerning, thoughtful and grown-up.
This is just one more of the things that is being lost in our country. Quite a number of the audiences I would think have actually read the play - and probably a few more by Shaw as well. But as he is no longer taught, as English becomes beyond the grasp of our dumbed-down school children, as actors turn more and more to America, film and TV to make their money, we will lose something that can never be replaced, and something that set the UK apart from pretty much every other country in the world.
The final insult is that the theatre which might have been going to take Pygmalion is getting a musical - Bad Girls: The Musical! ( don't forget the exclamation mark), based on the gut-wrenchingly awful ITV Drama - and before you say you liked it, I can only tell you most of the population didn't.
Call me a snob and elitist if you will, but man never made any progress by lowering expectations. In fact, his finest hours have been when ( as that great song from Man of La Mancha had it, he dreamt " the impossible dream, to strive when all hope is gone, to reach the untouchable star".
And yes, I have read the original.
A Good Day
I had an exceptionally good day yesterday. It was the West of Scotland Gurkha Curry Lunch, which is always good fun, as I am the organiser, and I get lots of my pals to cough up for tickets. Anyway, we raised about the same amount as last year, which I was quite pleased about. Raising money has never been harder.
The best thing, though , is the excellent grub. We get a Gurkha Chef to come up from the south ( together with a piper) and he produces such delicious food that everyone has second helpings. Pud is always a bit school daysy - yesterday it was fruit salad and three flavours of ice cream, which, because of the general age of the participants, went down a storm.Normally quite sedate dowagers waxed lyrical about Buffy in the Fourth when she had FIVE helpings of Frog Spawn with tinned peaches. And Miss Speckles had had an absolute fit!!
Some of those attending came back for tea, so by the time it was all squared away, it was late-on, and I didn't have long to wait for the Sopranos.
I don't know if you follow this programme, but the premise is that the Don, Tony Soprano, is getting help from a psychiatrist, and daren't tell anyone.
But the really nice thing is he is a normal family man, subject to all the insecurities and pressures that men approaching middle age feel. He had his 47th birthday,
last night, and his ( extremely obese) brother in law managed to lay him out.He opined that his wife would no longer love him as he was descending into decrepitude. Needless to say, as all little boys do, he got his own back.
It does raise a point, though. The assembled Ms.Lear's are of the opinion that I am 12, when in reality, today is a birthday which, I suppose, either puts me into old age, or certainly finished off my middle age. I have never felt anything other than about 20. It's only the whitening hair and increasingly frequent Senior Moments that tell a different story.
I'm sure these feelings of being less physically strong have much to do with men and their Middle Life Crises. I can't say I had one, or feel as if I'm liable to have one, but then, I've always kept my brain active and been up for new experiences. If you want to do something, do it. If you want to buy something, buy it. If you don't you'll always regret it.
And you may have noticed on my profile that doing as little as possible is one of my objects in life.
I think I can fairly say I've managed that so far.
The best thing, though , is the excellent grub. We get a Gurkha Chef to come up from the south ( together with a piper) and he produces such delicious food that everyone has second helpings. Pud is always a bit school daysy - yesterday it was fruit salad and three flavours of ice cream, which, because of the general age of the participants, went down a storm.Normally quite sedate dowagers waxed lyrical about Buffy in the Fourth when she had FIVE helpings of Frog Spawn with tinned peaches. And Miss Speckles had had an absolute fit!!
Some of those attending came back for tea, so by the time it was all squared away, it was late-on, and I didn't have long to wait for the Sopranos.
I don't know if you follow this programme, but the premise is that the Don, Tony Soprano, is getting help from a psychiatrist, and daren't tell anyone.
But the really nice thing is he is a normal family man, subject to all the insecurities and pressures that men approaching middle age feel. He had his 47th birthday,
last night, and his ( extremely obese) brother in law managed to lay him out.He opined that his wife would no longer love him as he was descending into decrepitude. Needless to say, as all little boys do, he got his own back.
It does raise a point, though. The assembled Ms.Lear's are of the opinion that I am 12, when in reality, today is a birthday which, I suppose, either puts me into old age, or certainly finished off my middle age. I have never felt anything other than about 20. It's only the whitening hair and increasingly frequent Senior Moments that tell a different story.
I'm sure these feelings of being less physically strong have much to do with men and their Middle Life Crises. I can't say I had one, or feel as if I'm liable to have one, but then, I've always kept my brain active and been up for new experiences. If you want to do something, do it. If you want to buy something, buy it. If you don't you'll always regret it.
And you may have noticed on my profile that doing as little as possible is one of my objects in life.
I think I can fairly say I've managed that so far.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Hmmmmmm...
Well, we were not quite right, the Biogeneticist and me, but we were right enough to be quite pleased.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Profit! Drink! Dancing girls!.. Or not...
Myself and the Biogeneticist are sitting on tenterhooks this afternoon.
We have been trying out a few things with the multi-billion dollar ( read 50p) business we have. If we're right ( ok,ok, if he's right) this could be not only profitable, but interesting, amusing and engaging.
If he's wrong ( ok, ok, if I'm wrong) it will still be interesting, amusing and engaging.
And the latter is probably better for my soul.
We have been trying out a few things with the multi-billion dollar ( read 50p) business we have. If we're right ( ok,ok, if he's right) this could be not only profitable, but interesting, amusing and engaging.
If he's wrong ( ok, ok, if I'm wrong) it will still be interesting, amusing and engaging.
And the latter is probably better for my soul.
Too true
“You need only do three things in this country to avoid poverty; finish High School, marry before having a child, and marry after the age of 20. Only 8 per cent of families who do this are poor; 79 per cent of those who fail are poor.” By William Galston in the Indie, curtesy of Pickled Politics.(www.pickledpolitics.com)
That's why encouragement of the family is a good thing in and of itself.
That's why encouragement of the family is a good thing in and of itself.
The Great Scottish incarceration
Tomorrow, where I live will be surrounded by police, crash-barriers, cones and police tape.
I will be unable to move more than a short distance from my house, and every time I do I will be shouted at to get out of the way.
Just because where I live is quite attractive, the Stalinists who rule Glasgow City Council like to get it on the TV as often as possible. Please note that the people in my area probably supply something like 25% of the total tax take for the city in one way or another ( not me you understand). So the Council really enjoys making our lives difficult.
So tomorrow, apart from being ghettoised, I will have to wait for:
1) the removal of the tons of litter left by thousands of sweaty smelly runners as they throw away drink cups, bottles, clothing etc. And the spectators leave even more rubbish.
2) rain to wash away the pee smell which will be everywhere.
3) Council workers on triple pay to remove the barriers which will allow me to move around again.
Now don't get me wrong. I am perfectly happy for people to run around and raise money for charity. I would just prefer if they did it somewhere that didn't interfere both with my movements and the movements of anyone trying to get around Glasgow tomorrow morning.
And I would really appreciate if they wouldn't pee in my street in their hundreds.
And especially not in my garden.
I will be unable to move more than a short distance from my house, and every time I do I will be shouted at to get out of the way.
Just because where I live is quite attractive, the Stalinists who rule Glasgow City Council like to get it on the TV as often as possible. Please note that the people in my area probably supply something like 25% of the total tax take for the city in one way or another ( not me you understand). So the Council really enjoys making our lives difficult.
So tomorrow, apart from being ghettoised, I will have to wait for:
1) the removal of the tons of litter left by thousands of sweaty smelly runners as they throw away drink cups, bottles, clothing etc. And the spectators leave even more rubbish.
2) rain to wash away the pee smell which will be everywhere.
3) Council workers on triple pay to remove the barriers which will allow me to move around again.
Now don't get me wrong. I am perfectly happy for people to run around and raise money for charity. I would just prefer if they did it somewhere that didn't interfere both with my movements and the movements of anyone trying to get around Glasgow tomorrow morning.
And I would really appreciate if they wouldn't pee in my street in their hundreds.
And especially not in my garden.
Friday, August 31, 2007
My new bank account
Have you tried to open bank account recently? Or even change one? Forget about how easy they say it is, it's almost impossible.
I've banked with my present bank for more than 20 years.They both hold my money and lend me money, have a significant amount of my savings within one of their subsidiaries, and I have not one but TWO dedicated advisors. Within the last year I filled in a form for their anti-moneylaundering requirements.
So when I phoned up and said I wanted another account for a small business venture ( no overdraft required) , I sort of thought it would just be an " account opening form" with a "signature example" requirement.
Not a bit of it.
A seriously hefty A4 envelope landed on my desk this morning. It contained a total of 7 different forms, together with a requirement to list all my personal assets and liabilities; in additon, they required originals of my driver's licence, passport, electricity ( or, to be fair, gas) bills , all to be taken to a branch, photocopied, signed and dated by me and the person who checked them.
Oh, and they would check the electoral register to make sure I wasn't lying about where I lived.
My natural reaction in these circumstances is usually to throw everything in the bin and go somewhere else, but I thought I would just check with one or other of my dedicated advisors.
He was very quiet on the 'phone when I asked him if I really had to fill all this out.
" Er, well, yes and no" he said. " If you can just sign your name I'll fill the rest in for you."
When I asked about the passport etc etc, I could hear his embarrassment down the line.
" Er well, you see, we have never actually checked that you are who you say you are. If you could possibly just take your passport into a branch that would be really helpful."
I sighed and suggested that surely the electoral register would do since I had lived for 14 years in the same house.
" Er, yes, well, the problem is you might actually be registered under a different name, whereas your passport will have a picture of you."
I gave in at that point. If these people were prepared to have me as a client for all these years without having a clue who I am, then I really ought to stick with them.
If this is what I have to do with people who have known me for nearly half my life, I hate to think what's required with a stranger. I suspect if I was an asylum seeker with no passport I could get an account just by putting a cross on a blank bit of paper.
Oh and by the way - I wouldn't bank with Barclays for now.
I've banked with my present bank for more than 20 years.They both hold my money and lend me money, have a significant amount of my savings within one of their subsidiaries, and I have not one but TWO dedicated advisors. Within the last year I filled in a form for their anti-moneylaundering requirements.
So when I phoned up and said I wanted another account for a small business venture ( no overdraft required) , I sort of thought it would just be an " account opening form" with a "signature example" requirement.
Not a bit of it.
A seriously hefty A4 envelope landed on my desk this morning. It contained a total of 7 different forms, together with a requirement to list all my personal assets and liabilities; in additon, they required originals of my driver's licence, passport, electricity ( or, to be fair, gas) bills , all to be taken to a branch, photocopied, signed and dated by me and the person who checked them.
Oh, and they would check the electoral register to make sure I wasn't lying about where I lived.
My natural reaction in these circumstances is usually to throw everything in the bin and go somewhere else, but I thought I would just check with one or other of my dedicated advisors.
He was very quiet on the 'phone when I asked him if I really had to fill all this out.
" Er, well, yes and no" he said. " If you can just sign your name I'll fill the rest in for you."
When I asked about the passport etc etc, I could hear his embarrassment down the line.
" Er well, you see, we have never actually checked that you are who you say you are. If you could possibly just take your passport into a branch that would be really helpful."
I sighed and suggested that surely the electoral register would do since I had lived for 14 years in the same house.
" Er, yes, well, the problem is you might actually be registered under a different name, whereas your passport will have a picture of you."
I gave in at that point. If these people were prepared to have me as a client for all these years without having a clue who I am, then I really ought to stick with them.
If this is what I have to do with people who have known me for nearly half my life, I hate to think what's required with a stranger. I suspect if I was an asylum seeker with no passport I could get an account just by putting a cross on a blank bit of paper.
Oh and by the way - I wouldn't bank with Barclays for now.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
The Interview
Everyone is talking about DC's interview last night. Was it good? Was it a lurch to the right? What would Paxo have done to him? Why doesn't Flash allow himself to be interviewed by Paxo? And so on.
I don't know about you, but I find it rather interesting that there is quite so much debate about it. For one thing, it must show that people actually take DC seriously, or they wouldn't bother. Dizzy has an excellent piece,which shows just how Cameron has scooped the ground out from under Flash's feet on immigration. DC's line is that uncontrolled immigration is affecting our treasured services. Labour can hardly complain that that is racist, and even Flash acknowledges that the immigration we have had over the last few years has had a detrimental effect on services.
I think what it does show is that, despite the BBC's best efforts, Cameron has a strength of character. He is engaging. He is polite and respectful ( Halelujah!). And - as far as I can see - he really does care about what's happening in the UK. Too often in the recent past politicians of all hues have mouthed platitudes without a genuine belief in anything but their own promotion.
DC doesn't seem to fit into that mould, which is why NuLabour are having such difficulty dealing with him at the moment. If you believe, its' really difficult to attack it.
I am presently reading a book about Abraham Lincoln and the three men he faced at the 1860 Republican Presidential Convention - Seward, Chase and Bates. He subsequently brought them all into his war cabinet. The most interesting thing is that debate was long and precisely argued. There were no soundbites. Positions were taken because of argument and agreement, but once a principle was set, there was no turning back despite the vicissitudes of events, political expediency or doubts.
Perhaps Mrs. Thatcher's greatest moment was her " The lady's not for turning". Principle maintained. That's what real leadership is about. Not abrogating responsibility and trimming when it suits.
So, Mr.Cameron, stick with it. You aren't in the least like Tony Bliar.
I don't know about you, but I find it rather interesting that there is quite so much debate about it. For one thing, it must show that people actually take DC seriously, or they wouldn't bother. Dizzy has an excellent piece,which shows just how Cameron has scooped the ground out from under Flash's feet on immigration. DC's line is that uncontrolled immigration is affecting our treasured services. Labour can hardly complain that that is racist, and even Flash acknowledges that the immigration we have had over the last few years has had a detrimental effect on services.
I think what it does show is that, despite the BBC's best efforts, Cameron has a strength of character. He is engaging. He is polite and respectful ( Halelujah!). And - as far as I can see - he really does care about what's happening in the UK. Too often in the recent past politicians of all hues have mouthed platitudes without a genuine belief in anything but their own promotion.
DC doesn't seem to fit into that mould, which is why NuLabour are having such difficulty dealing with him at the moment. If you believe, its' really difficult to attack it.
I am presently reading a book about Abraham Lincoln and the three men he faced at the 1860 Republican Presidential Convention - Seward, Chase and Bates. He subsequently brought them all into his war cabinet. The most interesting thing is that debate was long and precisely argued. There were no soundbites. Positions were taken because of argument and agreement, but once a principle was set, there was no turning back despite the vicissitudes of events, political expediency or doubts.
Perhaps Mrs. Thatcher's greatest moment was her " The lady's not for turning". Principle maintained. That's what real leadership is about. Not abrogating responsibility and trimming when it suits.
So, Mr.Cameron, stick with it. You aren't in the least like Tony Bliar.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
There's a tide in the affairs of men....
I had a lovely couple of days in London. A half price lobster dinner early on Sunday evening was followed by my being in bed by 9pm - which of course meant I slept until about 3 am and was wide awake the rest of the night. Monday started well with a productive meeting, a most pleasant lunch, then a visit to a cousin in hospital who had broken her hip. The day was rounded off by my giving the Eldest Ms. Lear her birthday present ( which I may say she opened a month early) and a meeting which then lasted until the early hours of Tuesday morning, but which, hopefully, will lay the foundations for good things in the future.
Prelunch on Tuesday I had a drink with someone I have long wanted to meet, who proved, if anything, more interesting in person than my imagined persona.
So all in all an excellent time. I enjoyed taking the train - somehow more relaxing than the flights ( get on getoff, security, hang about etc etc.) and pretty much the same cost overall.
I also managed to read a couple of books, neither of which, in themselves was staggeringly interesting. But from one there were a couple of insights which I found interesting, and which then threw up an extreme counterpoint.
The first was that Rome fell when the it's army was no longer regarded as a good thing in itself. We have an exact parallel at the moment - less money spent on the forces, a fall in recruitment, more being asked of serving personel, and finally Rome's army broke - long before the vandals sacked Rome. Our own forces are in desperate straights, but Flash appears to be as unconcerned as Des Browne, who has to be the worst government minister there has ever been. In the past, the ministers in charge of the armed forces actually tried to get more money, men and equipment. Browne appears to try for none of these things. Parsimony rules.
The second was the counterpoint to this.
An attractive young girl, her mother and ( I assume) father or at least step-father were arranging a party in the bar of a hotel where I was having a drink. I suspect it was either an engagement party or a wedding. In any event, the girl seemed quite laid back, but the mother was determined to have the lot - and as each item was costed and multiplied by the number of guests, I could see the poor man who was going to have to pay for it all flinching and shrinking. I felt seriously sorry for him. No expense was to be spared.
So the next time you are thinking about an expensive party, think about this - the best things in life may not be free, but they certainly don't need to be the most expensive. Tesco's £7.99 French Champagne will get everyone just as drunk as vintage Krug at £69 a bottle.
Prelunch on Tuesday I had a drink with someone I have long wanted to meet, who proved, if anything, more interesting in person than my imagined persona.
So all in all an excellent time. I enjoyed taking the train - somehow more relaxing than the flights ( get on getoff, security, hang about etc etc.) and pretty much the same cost overall.
I also managed to read a couple of books, neither of which, in themselves was staggeringly interesting. But from one there were a couple of insights which I found interesting, and which then threw up an extreme counterpoint.
The first was that Rome fell when the it's army was no longer regarded as a good thing in itself. We have an exact parallel at the moment - less money spent on the forces, a fall in recruitment, more being asked of serving personel, and finally Rome's army broke - long before the vandals sacked Rome. Our own forces are in desperate straights, but Flash appears to be as unconcerned as Des Browne, who has to be the worst government minister there has ever been. In the past, the ministers in charge of the armed forces actually tried to get more money, men and equipment. Browne appears to try for none of these things. Parsimony rules.
The second was the counterpoint to this.
An attractive young girl, her mother and ( I assume) father or at least step-father were arranging a party in the bar of a hotel where I was having a drink. I suspect it was either an engagement party or a wedding. In any event, the girl seemed quite laid back, but the mother was determined to have the lot - and as each item was costed and multiplied by the number of guests, I could see the poor man who was going to have to pay for it all flinching and shrinking. I felt seriously sorry for him. No expense was to be spared.
So the next time you are thinking about an expensive party, think about this - the best things in life may not be free, but they certainly don't need to be the most expensive. Tesco's £7.99 French Champagne will get everyone just as drunk as vintage Krug at £69 a bottle.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Strangers on a train...
I travelled to London today by train which was perfectly pleasant - and on time.
When we got to Carlisle, the train " manager" announced that we would have a ten minute stop, and if you wanted a cigarette you would have to go outside the station as Carlisle was non-smoking. From my carriage, about 15 people sprinted for the exits. But the funniest thing was seeing them sprinting back. The cigarettes had clearly taken their toll.
On another point, I bought a cup of coffee.
When I said I didn't need the natty little bag with handles I was told:
" Sorry sir, you have to have it - elf n safety"
So they're not trying to save the planet then.
When we got to Carlisle, the train " manager" announced that we would have a ten minute stop, and if you wanted a cigarette you would have to go outside the station as Carlisle was non-smoking. From my carriage, about 15 people sprinted for the exits. But the funniest thing was seeing them sprinting back. The cigarettes had clearly taken their toll.
On another point, I bought a cup of coffee.
When I said I didn't need the natty little bag with handles I was told:
" Sorry sir, you have to have it - elf n safety"
So they're not trying to save the planet then.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Horoscope
I don't for ONE MINUTE believe in Horoscopes. I do think that star signs, on average, describe people fairly well.
So I was quite interested to read mine in the Telegraph magazine today. It postulates a change in my life.
And the funny thing is I am thinking about just that.....
So I was quite interested to read mine in the Telegraph magazine today. It postulates a change in my life.
And the funny thing is I am thinking about just that.....
Friday, August 24, 2007
Radioactive pee
I'm sure lots of people know about this, but I only learned about it today, and on reflection it makes sense.
Apparently, there is some kind of medical scan which entails having some kind of radio-isotype ingested into your body. The pictures/scans are then taken and you go to sit in a waiting room.
Now, presumably for elf 'n safety reasons, you can't leave until you have passed this radioactivity out of your body. Fortunately, it comes out in pee.
BUT it does mean sitting around for a bit, feeling groggy, and peeing in a particular loo which is regularly checked to see how radioactive it is.
Now ladies, of course, generally sit down to pee, so they tend to get it into the bowl.
Men, on the other hand, seem to have an overwhelming urge to spray all over the place, even when aiming straight into the bowl.
So on the days when that loo is in use for its de-radioactivity duties, it is geiger-counted, swabbed out, and the remains put into a special safe.
Now I'm not sure what exactly happens to the safe, but I assume it is taken away and dealt with and a new one put in it's place.
All I can say is I don't want to be the one to open it.
Apparently, there is some kind of medical scan which entails having some kind of radio-isotype ingested into your body. The pictures/scans are then taken and you go to sit in a waiting room.
Now, presumably for elf 'n safety reasons, you can't leave until you have passed this radioactivity out of your body. Fortunately, it comes out in pee.
BUT it does mean sitting around for a bit, feeling groggy, and peeing in a particular loo which is regularly checked to see how radioactive it is.
Now ladies, of course, generally sit down to pee, so they tend to get it into the bowl.
Men, on the other hand, seem to have an overwhelming urge to spray all over the place, even when aiming straight into the bowl.
So on the days when that loo is in use for its de-radioactivity duties, it is geiger-counted, swabbed out, and the remains put into a special safe.
Now I'm not sure what exactly happens to the safe, but I assume it is taken away and dealt with and a new one put in it's place.
All I can say is I don't want to be the one to open it.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Someone got it right
A chap called Chris Dillow, of whom I had never heard, wrote a very interesting article on the Times Online about the one thing you must never ask an economist - which is anything about economics and wealth creation.They know lots about why people do things ( and some really bizarre things too - read Steve Levitt's Freakonomics) but have no idea what that knowledge translates to in the economy.
I have always maintained that everything links back to economics in some way, and, indeed, any problem I have pondered within the last quite a number of years has been solved by applying economic principles ( basically you catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar - shocking discovery isn't it).
Anyway, Mr.Dillow wrote the following - the bold words are stressed by me.
"Rationality is ambiguous. It would have been reasonable for the market to react with optimism to the ECB’s cash injection last week – “there’s more money around”. If so, it would have been an example of what the American philosopher Robert Nozick called – apologies for the jargon – causal expected utility. The pessimistic reaction – “things must be bad” – is what he called evidential expected utility. Both principles, he explained, are rational. Both are also contradictory and it is utterly arbitrary which way the market will jump. The idea that the rational response leads to a clear course of action is wrong."
So there you have it. This is actually the entire reason the stock market moves. Some people think buy and others think sell, and for exactly the same reason.
Although he didn't say it, there was another lovely insight. Women gravitate to men with money. Men gravitate towards good looking women. Of course, there are exceptions that prove the rule....
I have always maintained that everything links back to economics in some way, and, indeed, any problem I have pondered within the last quite a number of years has been solved by applying economic principles ( basically you catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar - shocking discovery isn't it).
Anyway, Mr.Dillow wrote the following - the bold words are stressed by me.
"Rationality is ambiguous. It would have been reasonable for the market to react with optimism to the ECB’s cash injection last week – “there’s more money around”. If so, it would have been an example of what the American philosopher Robert Nozick called – apologies for the jargon – causal expected utility. The pessimistic reaction – “things must be bad” – is what he called evidential expected utility. Both principles, he explained, are rational. Both are also contradictory and it is utterly arbitrary which way the market will jump. The idea that the rational response leads to a clear course of action is wrong."
So there you have it. This is actually the entire reason the stock market moves. Some people think buy and others think sell, and for exactly the same reason.
Although he didn't say it, there was another lovely insight. Women gravitate to men with money. Men gravitate towards good looking women. Of course, there are exceptions that prove the rule....
Links
Various people have been having a go at me.
They know perfectly well I read Guido, Dizzy, and Iain every day, and yet they are not on the links from here.
OK! I GIVE IN!
I'll do my best to add them.
They know perfectly well I read Guido, Dizzy, and Iain every day, and yet they are not on the links from here.
OK! I GIVE IN!
I'll do my best to add them.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Time off work for Men when their children are born
Over on Mr. Fact there is a story about Ze Tcherman's mocking our present touchy-feeling government and it's rules about taking time off for babies being born.
Two stories:
A friend of mine's father turned up after the birth of his son about 30 odd years ago. Fathers were very definitely NOT present at births at the time ( Matron would never have stood for it) so tended to repair to the pub with an old and dear friend. Needless to say, the net result was two somewhat inebriated people in the hospital once the baby had been delivered, cleaned up, etc etc.
Unfortunately, my friend had had a forceps delivery, and as a result his head was - shall we say - somewhat out of kilter.
" What's wrong with him?" said the less than proud father." His head's all twisted"
Whereupon the midwife knocked him out cold.
The second story concerns my own first born, some 30 odd years ago as well.
Mrs. Lear went into labour about 4am, and I drove her into the hospital. It took quite some time for things to come to fruition, but round about lunchtime they did. I saw the baby, saw Mrs. Lear, then toddled into my office.
I was greeted by the head salesman.
" What do ye mean taking time off for a bairn? I never had one minute off when mine were born."
So there.
Two stories:
A friend of mine's father turned up after the birth of his son about 30 odd years ago. Fathers were very definitely NOT present at births at the time ( Matron would never have stood for it) so tended to repair to the pub with an old and dear friend. Needless to say, the net result was two somewhat inebriated people in the hospital once the baby had been delivered, cleaned up, etc etc.
Unfortunately, my friend had had a forceps delivery, and as a result his head was - shall we say - somewhat out of kilter.
" What's wrong with him?" said the less than proud father." His head's all twisted"
Whereupon the midwife knocked him out cold.
The second story concerns my own first born, some 30 odd years ago as well.
Mrs. Lear went into labour about 4am, and I drove her into the hospital. It took quite some time for things to come to fruition, but round about lunchtime they did. I saw the baby, saw Mrs. Lear, then toddled into my office.
I was greeted by the head salesman.
" What do ye mean taking time off for a bairn? I never had one minute off when mine were born."
So there.
A seriously good time - now back to a serious time
I've had a brilliant time in Italy with friends over the last few days - weather not too hot, food exceptional, wine even better and the opera - well, need I say more?
But it's all over now and it's back to work, with, as ever, outstanding things to be sorted, and delays in every direction.
A couple of things caught my eye in the past week.
One was a story in the Telegraph about Cosimo Mele, and Italian politician with a pregant wife and three children, who was caught in bed with not one but TWO prostitutes, cocaine, etc etc.
When questioned as to whether he believed in Christian values, his response was " Of course I identify with Christian values! But what has that to do with going to bed with a prostituite?" Hm.
The next was a website which referred to " The Alzheimer's Long Island Swim - now only a distant memory.." And before you complain, Old Kinglear( my father) died of Alzheimer's, so I know it can only be coped with if you have a sense of humour.
Then there was a character in a book saying " Bribery is simply the free market simplifying the decision making process". I rather liked that - getting a table in a crowded restaurant is the perfect example.
A quadruplet from Wobegon Boy by Garrison Keillor:
" In figuring out name order, it is common to put the duller one first"
"March and April were created by God to show non-drinkers what a hangover was like"
" People prefer comfort to aesthetics - this is a terrible truth about Americans" - and probably most people.
" Let him who is without oxen cast the first stone"
And finally, I learned about Stendahl's Syndrome. A very serious condition, it afflicts most people who visit Florence - it is a person becoming overwhelmed by it's beauty.
But it's all over now and it's back to work, with, as ever, outstanding things to be sorted, and delays in every direction.
A couple of things caught my eye in the past week.
One was a story in the Telegraph about Cosimo Mele, and Italian politician with a pregant wife and three children, who was caught in bed with not one but TWO prostitutes, cocaine, etc etc.
When questioned as to whether he believed in Christian values, his response was " Of course I identify with Christian values! But what has that to do with going to bed with a prostituite?" Hm.
The next was a website which referred to " The Alzheimer's Long Island Swim - now only a distant memory.." And before you complain, Old Kinglear( my father) died of Alzheimer's, so I know it can only be coped with if you have a sense of humour.
Then there was a character in a book saying " Bribery is simply the free market simplifying the decision making process". I rather liked that - getting a table in a crowded restaurant is the perfect example.
A quadruplet from Wobegon Boy by Garrison Keillor:
" In figuring out name order, it is common to put the duller one first"
"March and April were created by God to show non-drinkers what a hangover was like"
" People prefer comfort to aesthetics - this is a terrible truth about Americans" - and probably most people.
" Let him who is without oxen cast the first stone"
And finally, I learned about Stendahl's Syndrome. A very serious condition, it afflicts most people who visit Florence - it is a person becoming overwhelmed by it's beauty.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
World Markets in turmoil.. More follows....
Yes they really are.They're crashing all over the place.
Fortuantely I'm in Florence and going to the opera at Torre del Lago over the next few nights, so I don't really care. I don't anyway as we got out of most things a few weeks ago.
However, I was fascinated by the scrolling news on both CNN and the NASDAQ site
" Uk's Footsie falls 4%"
"Dow plunges over 300"
" Countrywide Financial going bust"
" Nigeria bans all foreign made toothpaste"
Eh? Come again?
I reread it.
I can only think toothpaste is an important medium of exchange in Nigeria, and they are tightening their credit.
Clearly a trading opportunity.
Nigerians are clearly going bananas without their Crest. I intend to buy up world supplies and smuggle them in, making a killing in toothpast futures.
Fortuantely I'm in Florence and going to the opera at Torre del Lago over the next few nights, so I don't really care. I don't anyway as we got out of most things a few weeks ago.
However, I was fascinated by the scrolling news on both CNN and the NASDAQ site
" Uk's Footsie falls 4%"
"Dow plunges over 300"
" Countrywide Financial going bust"
" Nigeria bans all foreign made toothpaste"
Eh? Come again?
I reread it.
I can only think toothpaste is an important medium of exchange in Nigeria, and they are tightening their credit.
Clearly a trading opportunity.
Nigerians are clearly going bananas without their Crest. I intend to buy up world supplies and smuggle them in, making a killing in toothpast futures.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
A perfect 1
There's a thing in the papers today about waist size (A) relative to hip size (B). Apparently if you divide A by B, and the answer is more than 1 you are heading for a heart attack.I was reading the papers this morning and suddenly found myself surounded by a metal tape measure.Much to Mrs. Lear's disgust, I am a perfect 1.
I have no idea how this could happen.I have spent years and a fortune on keeping a good Buddha-like tummy, only to discover it is relatively allowed.
I am terribly disappointed.
I have no idea how this could happen.I have spent years and a fortune on keeping a good Buddha-like tummy, only to discover it is relatively allowed.
I am terribly disappointed.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Westminster watches out
Well actually it's not, BrownLabour are living up to their name in the colour of their trousers.
In case you missed it, the SNP now have a 48% to 23% lead in the polls in Scotland.
That's actually enough to lose Labour it's overall majority on it's own.
It would appear that lots of people close to Flash are under extreme pressure to DO something.
Flash won't of course. He has absented himself from Scotland ( it's Macavity again) just when they actually need him.
A Labour Scottish Councillor told me that all their future proposals had been kicked into touch by their own people down south, and the message was to do everything they could to blacken the name of the SNP - scaremongering, spinning, sniping, you name it.
Of course, the real problem is that that is exactly what the electorate is telling us they don't want to hear.
DC's line of talking common sense and supporting measures that actually have a point goes down well ( despite the dino's inability to understand life has moved on).
If we actually want younger people to engage in political life, Westminster will have to learn that negative campaigning is no longer any use.
Amongst all it's other plus points, the internet would appear to be educating a whole new strata of society in political dialogue - however hesitantly and however slowly. I'm willing to bet that the next general election will see an increase in the percentage of voters going to the polls, and a general lowering in the age of those voting.
And have a look at the people who vote in elections in other countries like Iraq, who put the 39% of us who don't vote to shame.
In case you missed it, the SNP now have a 48% to 23% lead in the polls in Scotland.
That's actually enough to lose Labour it's overall majority on it's own.
It would appear that lots of people close to Flash are under extreme pressure to DO something.
Flash won't of course. He has absented himself from Scotland ( it's Macavity again) just when they actually need him.
A Labour Scottish Councillor told me that all their future proposals had been kicked into touch by their own people down south, and the message was to do everything they could to blacken the name of the SNP - scaremongering, spinning, sniping, you name it.
Of course, the real problem is that that is exactly what the electorate is telling us they don't want to hear.
DC's line of talking common sense and supporting measures that actually have a point goes down well ( despite the dino's inability to understand life has moved on).
If we actually want younger people to engage in political life, Westminster will have to learn that negative campaigning is no longer any use.
Amongst all it's other plus points, the internet would appear to be educating a whole new strata of society in political dialogue - however hesitantly and however slowly. I'm willing to bet that the next general election will see an increase in the percentage of voters going to the polls, and a general lowering in the age of those voting.
And have a look at the people who vote in elections in other countries like Iraq, who put the 39% of us who don't vote to shame.
A dogs life
"Our hosts were both highly solicitous of our well-being and very hands-off and "amuse yourselves". We were well fed and taken on long walks: it was a bit like being an extra pair of dogs really. "
Quants
Quants are Quantitative Strategy Funds.
"The trouble for quantitative funds started Aug. 3, when stocks started moving not only in ways that commonly used models didn't predict, but in precisely the opposite direction from what was expected. Equally troubling, the moves were far more volatile than models based on decades of testing assumed were likely. Those relatively minor anomalies escalated quickly this week, exploding into a global rout for quantitative funds by Wednesday."
Don't you just love that? " Decades of testing" and " assumed..likely" are two of the most destructive phrases in the English language.
It's precisely because, as Donald Rumsfeld would have it, " We don't know the unknown unknowns" that not everybody is stinking rich. And even those that are are feeling seriously less well off this week than even two weeks ago.
So what happens now? Well, the BofE hasn't so far lobbed any dosh at the problem. It's not a problem about to disappear, and it is certainly geometrically bigger in the US than anywhere else.
I predict a week or so of soothing words and calming markets, all of which will be blown apart again by something else coming out of the woodwork.
If not into speculative mode, I don't think it will matter too much. But if you need the money, get out now.
"The trouble for quantitative funds started Aug. 3, when stocks started moving not only in ways that commonly used models didn't predict, but in precisely the opposite direction from what was expected. Equally troubling, the moves were far more volatile than models based on decades of testing assumed were likely. Those relatively minor anomalies escalated quickly this week, exploding into a global rout for quantitative funds by Wednesday."
Don't you just love that? " Decades of testing" and " assumed..likely" are two of the most destructive phrases in the English language.
It's precisely because, as Donald Rumsfeld would have it, " We don't know the unknown unknowns" that not everybody is stinking rich. And even those that are are feeling seriously less well off this week than even two weeks ago.
So what happens now? Well, the BofE hasn't so far lobbed any dosh at the problem. It's not a problem about to disappear, and it is certainly geometrically bigger in the US than anywhere else.
I predict a week or so of soothing words and calming markets, all of which will be blown apart again by something else coming out of the woodwork.
If not into speculative mode, I don't think it will matter too much. But if you need the money, get out now.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
John Redwood on Sunday AM
Seriuosly good interview this morning. He looked much more capable and relaxed than he used to, and answered all the nasty questions reasonably and logically. If what is being touted as he and George Osborne's policy review does what it says on the tin, Flash will find it seriously diffult to refute.
Oh, and by the way, has anyone seen Alistair Darling recently? I know it's holiday time, but Flash had made all the economic announcements and Darling has only had one public engagement since he became Chancellor ( poodle). Osborne, rightly, is keeping his mouth shut until Darling says something.
Whatever it is, you can bet Flash will have written it.
Oh, and by the way, has anyone seen Alistair Darling recently? I know it's holiday time, but Flash had made all the economic announcements and Darling has only had one public engagement since he became Chancellor ( poodle). Osborne, rightly, is keeping his mouth shut until Darling says something.
Whatever it is, you can bet Flash will have written it.
All or Nothing
I just watched this Mike Leigh film again.
I can hardly believe it's 5 years since it came out. It has the excellent Timothy Spall in the lead, with Lesley Manville and a young James Corden, before "The History Boys".
I had forgotten just how good it was.
Spall's world weary depiction is perfection, livened by his declaration for his need for love at the end.
My heart bled for the daughter, who looked to be heading for nothing, whilst Corden as the son, was heading for redemption.
If Leigh tells us anything in his films,it's that, whatever happens, life goes on. It's what we make it, but without love - and hope - it's worthless.
So listen to the ending of Holst's Jupiter, and you will know that love exists, that you can win through and that you can make a difference.
I can hardly believe it's 5 years since it came out. It has the excellent Timothy Spall in the lead, with Lesley Manville and a young James Corden, before "The History Boys".
I had forgotten just how good it was.
Spall's world weary depiction is perfection, livened by his declaration for his need for love at the end.
My heart bled for the daughter, who looked to be heading for nothing, whilst Corden as the son, was heading for redemption.
If Leigh tells us anything in his films,it's that, whatever happens, life goes on. It's what we make it, but without love - and hope - it's worthless.
So listen to the ending of Holst's Jupiter, and you will know that love exists, that you can win through and that you can make a difference.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Strange juxtapositions
I have long held that where two objects appear together in the wrong context, there is something interesting going on.
For example, a golf ball found on a golf course, or even on a lawn, would hardly excite comment, but the same golf ball landing on your plate as you were served pasta could potentially have an interesting story behind it.
I am absolutely sure that inquisitiveness keeps us alive and mentally active, and both interested and interesting.
So imagine my quickened interest whilst walking the dog in the rain this morning to discover a very fine green marble egg on the grass verge.
Where did it come from? I naturally purloined it ( I have a collection of odd bits of washers, nuts, rings etc that I have picked up over the years and threaded through a wire coat hangar. I'm convinced it's the winner of the next Turner prize) and looked about for any potential droppers.
There being none, I can only assume it was dropped there by a bird. I was told many years ago, by an old Italian, that he had had a bowl of such eggs They were in all different colours, but the green ones kept disappearing.
He finally lay in wait to see how they were being stolen - to discover a large magpie flying in through the open window and removing said green egg from it's neighbours. He was so astonished that he did nothing, and thereafter, if he wanted to show off, he would hide with a friend after putting out a green egg. Sure enough, after about ten minutes, the magpie would appear.
Why the green egg? I always thought they liked sparkly things, but green?
So my guess is that over the last few days, which have been warmer up here, somebody had their window open and a magpie stole the egg, then dropped it when it found that it was of the non-edible variety.
Or somebody was having a fight and thew it at their partner with such force it landed on the grass in the park.
Either way, it's more interesting than a golf ball on a golf course.
For example, a golf ball found on a golf course, or even on a lawn, would hardly excite comment, but the same golf ball landing on your plate as you were served pasta could potentially have an interesting story behind it.
I am absolutely sure that inquisitiveness keeps us alive and mentally active, and both interested and interesting.
So imagine my quickened interest whilst walking the dog in the rain this morning to discover a very fine green marble egg on the grass verge.
Where did it come from? I naturally purloined it ( I have a collection of odd bits of washers, nuts, rings etc that I have picked up over the years and threaded through a wire coat hangar. I'm convinced it's the winner of the next Turner prize) and looked about for any potential droppers.
There being none, I can only assume it was dropped there by a bird. I was told many years ago, by an old Italian, that he had had a bowl of such eggs They were in all different colours, but the green ones kept disappearing.
He finally lay in wait to see how they were being stolen - to discover a large magpie flying in through the open window and removing said green egg from it's neighbours. He was so astonished that he did nothing, and thereafter, if he wanted to show off, he would hide with a friend after putting out a green egg. Sure enough, after about ten minutes, the magpie would appear.
Why the green egg? I always thought they liked sparkly things, but green?
So my guess is that over the last few days, which have been warmer up here, somebody had their window open and a magpie stole the egg, then dropped it when it found that it was of the non-edible variety.
Or somebody was having a fight and thew it at their partner with such force it landed on the grass in the park.
Either way, it's more interesting than a golf ball on a golf course.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Financial update
Just in case you don't think any of this affects you or is serious, the ECB lobbed ANOTHER 60 odd billion Euros into the market today. The people who are losing money are the ones who are looking after your pension - they've stuffed wads of cash into hedge-funds and higher-rate instruments.
I find it all rather fun - a bit like 1992 when the £ left the ERM. Everyone knew it was an absolute certainty - it was a one way bet. Today, if you don't think the Fed and the Central Banks are about to ease enormously ( they've been tightening for months) you shouldn't be out there. Even though the Fed lobbed in $24billion yesterday, BofE, Canada, Japan, you name it, a few billion here, a few billion there, the Banks ain't going to hand it out to the guys who really really need it. They're going down. Or being taken over by others who each Central Bank will support to the death. Remember the BofE Lifeboat 1975? No, of course not. Most of the people running the money today were all in nappies.
The Banks are even nervous of lending to each other, even overnight. I'll just bet Mervyn and Bernanke and the rest are all calling the heads of every Bank they can think of and telling them GIVE OUT THE MONEY!
BUT, if one biggish bank or institution folds a la LTCM, the markets will disappear down a plug-hole so fast you won't be able to say gurgle.
I find it all rather fun - a bit like 1992 when the £ left the ERM. Everyone knew it was an absolute certainty - it was a one way bet. Today, if you don't think the Fed and the Central Banks are about to ease enormously ( they've been tightening for months) you shouldn't be out there. Even though the Fed lobbed in $24billion yesterday, BofE, Canada, Japan, you name it, a few billion here, a few billion there, the Banks ain't going to hand it out to the guys who really really need it. They're going down. Or being taken over by others who each Central Bank will support to the death. Remember the BofE Lifeboat 1975? No, of course not. Most of the people running the money today were all in nappies.
The Banks are even nervous of lending to each other, even overnight. I'll just bet Mervyn and Bernanke and the rest are all calling the heads of every Bank they can think of and telling them GIVE OUT THE MONEY!
BUT, if one biggish bank or institution folds a la LTCM, the markets will disappear down a plug-hole so fast you won't be able to say gurgle.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
So what do we stand for?
Platform 10 ( and Iain Dale) have a link to a long article by Peter Luff, the Tory Mid-Worcs MP. It's a long article on the present political position in the UK, and the Tory's position within it.
It's final section reads as follows:
A further criticism that has been levelled in recent weeks is that it is not clear what David (Cameron) or the Conservative Party stands for. Well, I am absolutely clear, and if people aren’t then it is a case of them not listening, or us not successfully getting the message across. Either way, I agree it is something we urgently need to readdress.David, like all Conservatives and the vast majority of the British people, shares a belief in four crucial values.
First he believes in the virtue of people taking control of their lives, in families, in communities and in voluntary organisations. Unlike Gordon Brown, he does not believe the state knows best. This means, for example, that taxes will be lower, power exercised more locally and marriage properly protected only under a Conservative government.
Second, he believes in the old words that we should be in Europe but not run by Europe. He is holding the government to its promise of a referendum on the new European treaty – or constitution to give it its more accurate name. Gordon Brown is seeking to sell Britain down the river and break his manifesto promise.
Third, he believes in protecting the liberties of the British people, so brutally trampled under foot by this government. On a range of issues, from giving parliament an opportunity to repeal the hunting ban to opposition to identity cards, he has demonstrated his opposition to Labour’s authoritarian state.
Fourth, he respects the institutions s of this nation. His instinct is to stand up for the organisations and structures that have served us well, and not, like Gordon Brown, to cast them heedlessly to one side. We will protect parliament, the legal system and all those other manifestations of our liberties and traditions that support and nurture the country of which we are so proud, but which Labour does not begin to understand.These are the reasons why my support for David Cameron is total and unqualified. Put simply, he is leading the kind of Conservative party that is in tune with the hopes and aspirations of the British people. That’s the only way we will win. More importantly, it’s the kind of government this country wants and needs.
Phew! I don't know about you, but that gives me a little frisson and tingle down my spine.
It's final section reads as follows:
A further criticism that has been levelled in recent weeks is that it is not clear what David (Cameron) or the Conservative Party stands for. Well, I am absolutely clear, and if people aren’t then it is a case of them not listening, or us not successfully getting the message across. Either way, I agree it is something we urgently need to readdress.David, like all Conservatives and the vast majority of the British people, shares a belief in four crucial values.
First he believes in the virtue of people taking control of their lives, in families, in communities and in voluntary organisations. Unlike Gordon Brown, he does not believe the state knows best. This means, for example, that taxes will be lower, power exercised more locally and marriage properly protected only under a Conservative government.
Second, he believes in the old words that we should be in Europe but not run by Europe. He is holding the government to its promise of a referendum on the new European treaty – or constitution to give it its more accurate name. Gordon Brown is seeking to sell Britain down the river and break his manifesto promise.
Third, he believes in protecting the liberties of the British people, so brutally trampled under foot by this government. On a range of issues, from giving parliament an opportunity to repeal the hunting ban to opposition to identity cards, he has demonstrated his opposition to Labour’s authoritarian state.
Fourth, he respects the institutions s of this nation. His instinct is to stand up for the organisations and structures that have served us well, and not, like Gordon Brown, to cast them heedlessly to one side. We will protect parliament, the legal system and all those other manifestations of our liberties and traditions that support and nurture the country of which we are so proud, but which Labour does not begin to understand.These are the reasons why my support for David Cameron is total and unqualified. Put simply, he is leading the kind of Conservative party that is in tune with the hopes and aspirations of the British people. That’s the only way we will win. More importantly, it’s the kind of government this country wants and needs.
Phew! I don't know about you, but that gives me a little frisson and tingle down my spine.
Interest rates , Mervyn and Bernanke
Well, now we know. Interest rates are on hold both sides of the pond, but in both cases, the word is that they are expected to rise. This is talking up the possibility to fool the markets into thinking they are not going to get a reduction.
America has a gigantic ( almost insuperable) funding problem for it's twin deficits, and will shortly have to shift the bias to lower rates, in order to encourage people to buy their debt. This is exacerbated by the present turmoil. Notice how they keep saying it's no problem, storm in a teacup, not spilling over, not damaging - except companies and individuals keep running out of money and going bust. Bernanke will not want to drop rates, he doesn't want to continue the Greenspan Put, but he will have no option but to increase liquidity. Adam Smith ( not the Scot) in his book " Paper Money" told the tale of a day in the '60s or '70s " when America ran out of money". It wasn't quite true of course, but a confluence of events meant that all the liquidity got drained out of the system. For a couple of hours, there was effective paralysis,noone realy knew what might happen. Then the Fed phoned round and told all the banks " If anyone - ANYONE - comes in asking for money give it to them".They lent billions to all the banks themselves, at miniscule rates, effectively printing gigantic sums of money. That was kind of the start of the sub-prime problem.
And by the way, if you package up a load of shit in a beautifully wrapped parcel, it's still shit inside. That's what the banks have been doing with the sub-prime mortgages - AAA rated because there's a spread? Don't make me laugh.
Look to the start of the dotcom crash. What actually caused it? Why, the Fed started draining liquidity. And then it took three years to get enough back in to create the next boom.
And over here? Mervyn has virtually promised higher rates. But the turmoil in the markets has virtually done his work for him. Inflation isn't about to rise.
But, boy, it sure suits him to say it is.
UPDATE 1: In case you missed it, one of France's largest banks has suspended three of its funds " due to complete evaporation of liquidity". So to help out, the European Central Bank has added Eur 100 billion to today's liquidity. That's Eur 100 billion to help out TODAY only. Think about it.
How much is Eur 100 billion? Well, if each Euro was 1 second, 1million would be about 11.5 days.
1 billion is about 31.7 YEARS. So 100 billion is 3,170.9 YEARS. So you would need to start counting, at 1 per second, in 1164 BC to have done it by today.
Think about it some more.
UPDATE2: Another day another - what - $3 trillion dollars evaporated? To use the analogy above, that represents 9,537 years.
Oh and its's all down again today, 10/8/07
America has a gigantic ( almost insuperable) funding problem for it's twin deficits, and will shortly have to shift the bias to lower rates, in order to encourage people to buy their debt. This is exacerbated by the present turmoil. Notice how they keep saying it's no problem, storm in a teacup, not spilling over, not damaging - except companies and individuals keep running out of money and going bust. Bernanke will not want to drop rates, he doesn't want to continue the Greenspan Put, but he will have no option but to increase liquidity. Adam Smith ( not the Scot) in his book " Paper Money" told the tale of a day in the '60s or '70s " when America ran out of money". It wasn't quite true of course, but a confluence of events meant that all the liquidity got drained out of the system. For a couple of hours, there was effective paralysis,noone realy knew what might happen. Then the Fed phoned round and told all the banks " If anyone - ANYONE - comes in asking for money give it to them".They lent billions to all the banks themselves, at miniscule rates, effectively printing gigantic sums of money. That was kind of the start of the sub-prime problem.
And by the way, if you package up a load of shit in a beautifully wrapped parcel, it's still shit inside. That's what the banks have been doing with the sub-prime mortgages - AAA rated because there's a spread? Don't make me laugh.
Look to the start of the dotcom crash. What actually caused it? Why, the Fed started draining liquidity. And then it took three years to get enough back in to create the next boom.
And over here? Mervyn has virtually promised higher rates. But the turmoil in the markets has virtually done his work for him. Inflation isn't about to rise.
But, boy, it sure suits him to say it is.
UPDATE 1: In case you missed it, one of France's largest banks has suspended three of its funds " due to complete evaporation of liquidity". So to help out, the European Central Bank has added Eur 100 billion to today's liquidity. That's Eur 100 billion to help out TODAY only. Think about it.
How much is Eur 100 billion? Well, if each Euro was 1 second, 1million would be about 11.5 days.
1 billion is about 31.7 YEARS. So 100 billion is 3,170.9 YEARS. So you would need to start counting, at 1 per second, in 1164 BC to have done it by today.
Think about it some more.
UPDATE2: Another day another - what - $3 trillion dollars evaporated? To use the analogy above, that represents 9,537 years.
Oh and its's all down again today, 10/8/07
Maybe Mr.Jock has a point......
Being a good Scot I have been following Mr. Jock on www.jockshire.com.
He refers to where I live as " England's northenmost county".
We Scots are nothing if not proud of being Scottish.
So it was with some sadness that I read the following in the Diarysection of The Herald, Glasgow's very own newspaper that used to be the Glasgow Herald.
It took the form of a picture of some cheese, which, when read, said the following:
"ISLE OF MULL CHEDDAR . From England. Neal's Yard"
However, there are now so many Engies living up here, and especially on the Islands and in the Highlands, that we are rather like an occupied country.
Alex Salmond is doing his best to disabuse Westminster of that thought. His latest attack is on the BBC and ITV, who only fund and make in Scotland 3% of programmes aired nationally. On a population basis, is should be somewhere around 10%, and within Scotland itself, why shouldn't it be over 50%? The BBC in particular, of course, is completely biased in its views.
McConnell got his marching orders because he ran Scotland as if all we were was an English county. Salmond is running it as if it were our own.
Westminster better watch out.
He refers to where I live as " England's northenmost county".
We Scots are nothing if not proud of being Scottish.
So it was with some sadness that I read the following in the Diarysection of The Herald, Glasgow's very own newspaper that used to be the Glasgow Herald.
It took the form of a picture of some cheese, which, when read, said the following:
"ISLE OF MULL CHEDDAR . From England. Neal's Yard"
However, there are now so many Engies living up here, and especially on the Islands and in the Highlands, that we are rather like an occupied country.
Alex Salmond is doing his best to disabuse Westminster of that thought. His latest attack is on the BBC and ITV, who only fund and make in Scotland 3% of programmes aired nationally. On a population basis, is should be somewhere around 10%, and within Scotland itself, why shouldn't it be over 50%? The BBC in particular, of course, is completely biased in its views.
McConnell got his marching orders because he ran Scotland as if all we were was an English county. Salmond is running it as if it were our own.
Westminster better watch out.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Where are we now?
The blogosphere is talking more and more about empty buy-to-let flats and strains on housing.
I keep telling people I've been through four property booms and busts. This last boom is the longest and strongest - 1995 to date and 300% appreciation nominally. Mind you, taking inflation into account its only about 260%. From 1969 to 1995, taking inflation into account, there was effectively no increase. What it did mean was that the value of the loans against the properties faded away.
At the moment, effectively the opposite is happening. Because inflation is relatively low, the cost of the loans and interest is increasing. The properties are no longer outgrowing inflation ( ok you can argue odd percentage points, but in essence the point is valid). Buy to letters are subsidising the value of their properties, and don't seem to realise that this actually adds to their in-costs.An Australian asked me recently what the golden rule of property investment was. To paraphrase Warren Buffett : The first rule of property investment is to make sure the rental covers the interest costs. And rule two? Remember rule one.
So where are we now?
I don't think we are on the edge of a cliff. That said, credit markets have effectively dried up. Some $400 billion of deals are on hold or indefinitely postponed. The Fed's statements yesterday didn't give any cheer, but that might well be a smokescreen. They have long wanted people to assess risk properly and stop the merry-go-round of the greater fool at higher prices syndrome. If there's a serious bankruptcy, all bets are off.
My view is that activity in UK housing will now start to drop. This always pressages falling prices. After all, if you want to move you have to sell.
So if you want £500,000 for your house and someone offers you £475,000, don't walk away.
That 5% drop might look a bargain in a few months time.
Oh, and if you are cash rich, drive a really, really hard bargain.
Or bet on interest rates having to fall soon in the States.
I keep telling people I've been through four property booms and busts. This last boom is the longest and strongest - 1995 to date and 300% appreciation nominally. Mind you, taking inflation into account its only about 260%. From 1969 to 1995, taking inflation into account, there was effectively no increase. What it did mean was that the value of the loans against the properties faded away.
At the moment, effectively the opposite is happening. Because inflation is relatively low, the cost of the loans and interest is increasing. The properties are no longer outgrowing inflation ( ok you can argue odd percentage points, but in essence the point is valid). Buy to letters are subsidising the value of their properties, and don't seem to realise that this actually adds to their in-costs.An Australian asked me recently what the golden rule of property investment was. To paraphrase Warren Buffett : The first rule of property investment is to make sure the rental covers the interest costs. And rule two? Remember rule one.
So where are we now?
I don't think we are on the edge of a cliff. That said, credit markets have effectively dried up. Some $400 billion of deals are on hold or indefinitely postponed. The Fed's statements yesterday didn't give any cheer, but that might well be a smokescreen. They have long wanted people to assess risk properly and stop the merry-go-round of the greater fool at higher prices syndrome. If there's a serious bankruptcy, all bets are off.
My view is that activity in UK housing will now start to drop. This always pressages falling prices. After all, if you want to move you have to sell.
So if you want £500,000 for your house and someone offers you £475,000, don't walk away.
That 5% drop might look a bargain in a few months time.
Oh, and if you are cash rich, drive a really, really hard bargain.
Or bet on interest rates having to fall soon in the States.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Pakistan & Jason Bourne
I watched a lovely programme this evening on BBC2, about Saira Khan in Pakistan. I thought originally she might be related to Imran Khan, but it turned out she wasn't. At least, she didn't call him "Dad".
There was a wonderful bit when two clearly gay Pakistani dress designers produced their latest fashions - totally western and showing flesh.
When questioned about this, the two "Gays" ( I always think they should be called " sads") stressed they were not just designing for Pakistan, but for the world.
" But surely," said Saira, " These clothes would never be worn in Pakistan?"
" Ooh, yes - especially at a ball - for St. Valentines Day, say."
St. Valentines Day? In Pakistan? I think Musharraf should be told.
On a lighter note, go and see The Bourne Ultimatum. Intellectual it is not, the story can be encapsulated in a sentence, but for sheer crash bang wallop fun it would be hard to beat.
He'd soon sort out the Taliban.
There was a wonderful bit when two clearly gay Pakistani dress designers produced their latest fashions - totally western and showing flesh.
When questioned about this, the two "Gays" ( I always think they should be called " sads") stressed they were not just designing for Pakistan, but for the world.
" But surely," said Saira, " These clothes would never be worn in Pakistan?"
" Ooh, yes - especially at a ball - for St. Valentines Day, say."
St. Valentines Day? In Pakistan? I think Musharraf should be told.
On a lighter note, go and see The Bourne Ultimatum. Intellectual it is not, the story can be encapsulated in a sentence, but for sheer crash bang wallop fun it would be hard to beat.
He'd soon sort out the Taliban.
Labour said the plans were "uncosted" and could lead to more privatization.
I can't help but think this actually sums up the difference between our two major parties. Whether or not the Tory plans for Social Enterprise Zones are costed or not, at least they are trying a "carrot" approach, rather than a stick. Labour has spent more than ten years saying "no" and " don't do that" with little or no effect. That is, of course, in terms of things improving in deprived areas. They have had an effect - but negative.
I read today that 40% of primary school leavers are unable to read or write, never mind add and subtract. What happened to " Education, education,education?" Amazingly wonderful sound bite, excellent policy, complete non-performance - in fact I also read today that GCSE's are effectively two grades down from 10 years ago. This doesn't help anyone - not universities ( ours are slipping down world league tables because of the imposition of useless students and the snaffling of many of our best by America on Scholarships) - not employers, who have to retrain staff in order to get any worthwhile work out of them - and, most importantly, not the students themselves, who are being condemned to a life of flipping burgers.
Our forebears were religious in their insistence on children learning, understanding and knowing. Now they know nothing, beyond who the latest non-celebrity is shagging.
So lets allow local people, local organisations and local areas decide their own fates. Take schools away from local authorities and give them their own budgets. It worked magnificently for doctors surgeries until NuLabour came along and messed it all up.
Even Janet Daley has decided that local is good.
And if it means private capital making it work, then I'm all for it.
I read today that 40% of primary school leavers are unable to read or write, never mind add and subtract. What happened to " Education, education,education?" Amazingly wonderful sound bite, excellent policy, complete non-performance - in fact I also read today that GCSE's are effectively two grades down from 10 years ago. This doesn't help anyone - not universities ( ours are slipping down world league tables because of the imposition of useless students and the snaffling of many of our best by America on Scholarships) - not employers, who have to retrain staff in order to get any worthwhile work out of them - and, most importantly, not the students themselves, who are being condemned to a life of flipping burgers.
Our forebears were religious in their insistence on children learning, understanding and knowing. Now they know nothing, beyond who the latest non-celebrity is shagging.
So lets allow local people, local organisations and local areas decide their own fates. Take schools away from local authorities and give them their own budgets. It worked magnificently for doctors surgeries until NuLabour came along and messed it all up.
Even Janet Daley has decided that local is good.
And if it means private capital making it work, then I'm all for it.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Gurkha Welfare Trust and Claymore '07
Saturday was spent raising money for the Gurkhas at Claymore '07. We did the same last year ( unsurprisingly Claymore '06). This is a wargames convention held in Edinburgh.
It's actually great fun - the people are usually quite large, but unfailingly cheerful and generous.The GWT gets a share of the entrance money and we raise more by selling stuff and collecting cash from the exhibitors and public.
Two things came across really really strongly.
Firstly, most of the men had purses in which they kept their change. Perhaps it's only me that finds this somewhat obsessive as I keep mine in my pocket.
The second was the utter disgust expressed in varying degrees of vehemence about this government's treatment of the Armed Forces and the Gurkhas in particular. Amongst this coterie, Flash and his minions would have been lynched had they shown their faces.
Granted most wargamers are probably ex-forces themselves, but even so, even those who had wandered in from simple curiosity were utterly vituperative about the most recent case of the VC who wanted to come to the UK, and was initially refused because he "didn't have sufficient ties to the UK". It's OK to die for us but not to live here.
I'm reading a book called "Tulipmania" by Anne Goldgar. As the title suggests, it's about Holland in the 17th Century. But the truth of what we think we know about Tulipmania ( country ruined, economy taking years to recover) is not accurate, and the whole thrust of her arguement is to do with government responsibility.
As she says " One of the functions of those in authority is to help to create or enforce a system of values. Communities find themselves at a loss when values are thrown in doubt"
I can't help but feel this is where we are in the UK now. Does anyone really know what the values Flash and his lot espouse? I've no idea, and I don't suppose anyone else does. This very lack of principle is what is undermining what remains of our society.
I have always said we children of the '60s have ruined it for everyone else.We took on authority and respect, and largely overcame it.
What has now happened is that NuLabour ( or Brown Labour as it was referred to in one of the papers today - surely a case for the Race Relations Board) has no repect for the country, its people,institutions or professions. This can only result in decline and degeneration.
Whatever else you may think of the Conservatives, at least they have respect for institutions.
It's actually great fun - the people are usually quite large, but unfailingly cheerful and generous.The GWT gets a share of the entrance money and we raise more by selling stuff and collecting cash from the exhibitors and public.
Two things came across really really strongly.
Firstly, most of the men had purses in which they kept their change. Perhaps it's only me that finds this somewhat obsessive as I keep mine in my pocket.
The second was the utter disgust expressed in varying degrees of vehemence about this government's treatment of the Armed Forces and the Gurkhas in particular. Amongst this coterie, Flash and his minions would have been lynched had they shown their faces.
Granted most wargamers are probably ex-forces themselves, but even so, even those who had wandered in from simple curiosity were utterly vituperative about the most recent case of the VC who wanted to come to the UK, and was initially refused because he "didn't have sufficient ties to the UK". It's OK to die for us but not to live here.
I'm reading a book called "Tulipmania" by Anne Goldgar. As the title suggests, it's about Holland in the 17th Century. But the truth of what we think we know about Tulipmania ( country ruined, economy taking years to recover) is not accurate, and the whole thrust of her arguement is to do with government responsibility.
As she says " One of the functions of those in authority is to help to create or enforce a system of values. Communities find themselves at a loss when values are thrown in doubt"
I can't help but feel this is where we are in the UK now. Does anyone really know what the values Flash and his lot espouse? I've no idea, and I don't suppose anyone else does. This very lack of principle is what is undermining what remains of our society.
I have always said we children of the '60s have ruined it for everyone else.We took on authority and respect, and largely overcame it.
What has now happened is that NuLabour ( or Brown Labour as it was referred to in one of the papers today - surely a case for the Race Relations Board) has no repect for the country, its people,institutions or professions. This can only result in decline and degeneration.
Whatever else you may think of the Conservatives, at least they have respect for institutions.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Ali Miraj and Guido
I see Guido had a long talk with Mr. Miraj. In it, Miraj refused to discuss matters during his private conversation, but only when the peerage question came up.Everything else was well larded.
As Guido says, Miraj's pathetic petulance couldn't possibly be a certain male chauvinistic piggery and jealousy, often associated with some Asian gentlemen ref: a certain Pritti Patel?? No no, of course not.
As Guido says, Miraj's pathetic petulance couldn't possibly be a certain male chauvinistic piggery and jealousy, often associated with some Asian gentlemen ref: a certain Pritti Patel?? No no, of course not.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
DC and loyalty
What's this all about? Tories altready having a go at whatever chance we have of winning the next election?
There is a distinct difference between the Old Tory Party ( which has lost the last three elections, and would certainly lose the next one) and the New Tory Party. The old guard need to realise that Labour's policies, however much we dislike them, are clearly not at odds with the general mood of the country. Afer all, if all you do is appease everyone and knee-jerk react to situations, you are seen to be doing something. Actually, you are not, but the perception is that you are. So what's not to like?
The Tories need a Clause 4 moment. Labour so desperately wanted power in 1997, that they would have done anything to achieve it - and that included speaking with one voice " on message" and dumping unpopular policies.
So don't deride DC for sounding somewhat vague. Vague keeps people on side until a policy is promulgated.
And don't behave like Ali Miraj and the Chairwoman of Newark Conservative association ( see http://www.dizzythinks.net/) .
Tell the Conservatives what YOU think. Listen to what they have to say.
And maybe - just maybe - David Cameron WILL be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain
There is a distinct difference between the Old Tory Party ( which has lost the last three elections, and would certainly lose the next one) and the New Tory Party. The old guard need to realise that Labour's policies, however much we dislike them, are clearly not at odds with the general mood of the country. Afer all, if all you do is appease everyone and knee-jerk react to situations, you are seen to be doing something. Actually, you are not, but the perception is that you are. So what's not to like?
The Tories need a Clause 4 moment. Labour so desperately wanted power in 1997, that they would have done anything to achieve it - and that included speaking with one voice " on message" and dumping unpopular policies.
So don't deride DC for sounding somewhat vague. Vague keeps people on side until a policy is promulgated.
And don't behave like Ali Miraj and the Chairwoman of Newark Conservative association ( see http://www.dizzythinks.net/) .
Tell the Conservatives what YOU think. Listen to what they have to say.
And maybe - just maybe - David Cameron WILL be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Ze Tchermans und der senz of humour!
We have had several friends staying with us, all to attend the othello on Friday night.
One of them recently back from Germany and relates the following.
Having nothing to do one Saturday night, he decided to go to the cinema. He was astonished to see that the film " U-571" was showing. It tells the story of the Americans hijacking a U-boat, capturing an Enigma machine, and so winning the war.
Yes, well.
Anyway, much to his astonishment, it was dubbed into German, and all went well ( if totally inaccurate historically) until the Americans, having captured the sub, had to make a crash dive as the Kriegsmarin closed in.
"Wie tief sind wir?" ( Translation: how deep are we?) screamed the Yankee captain.
" Ich weiss nicht - es ist in Deutsch beschreiben!" ( Translation: I don't know, it's written in German)
He swears the audience continued laughing for the rest of the film.
One of them recently back from Germany and relates the following.
Having nothing to do one Saturday night, he decided to go to the cinema. He was astonished to see that the film " U-571" was showing. It tells the story of the Americans hijacking a U-boat, capturing an Enigma machine, and so winning the war.
Yes, well.
Anyway, much to his astonishment, it was dubbed into German, and all went well ( if totally inaccurate historically) until the Americans, having captured the sub, had to make a crash dive as the Kriegsmarin closed in.
"Wie tief sind wir?" ( Translation: how deep are we?) screamed the Yankee captain.
" Ich weiss nicht - es ist in Deutsch beschreiben!" ( Translation: I don't know, it's written in German)
He swears the audience continued laughing for the rest of the film.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Othello and Bard in the Botanic
We held a private party in the Kibble Palace last night, to see the excellent Othello by Bard in the Botanics ( http://www.bardinthebotanics.org/) . It's already sold out, and the success engendered this year will surely help with sales and future sponsorship for next year.
Two of the guests were of a senior military sort.
By way of conversation, I asked one what he thought of the military dimension to the play.
The two Commanders of Men looked at each other knowingly.
" Well, " said the senior " Pretty scruffy looking lot."
" Indeed," said the other. " But pretty much what one would expect from a bunch of Italians."
" Yes," said the senior. " Much rather fight them than the Germans"
I can't help but think our military are a touch behind the times.
Two of the guests were of a senior military sort.
By way of conversation, I asked one what he thought of the military dimension to the play.
The two Commanders of Men looked at each other knowingly.
" Well, " said the senior " Pretty scruffy looking lot."
" Indeed," said the other. " But pretty much what one would expect from a bunch of Italians."
" Yes," said the senior. " Much rather fight them than the Germans"
I can't help but think our military are a touch behind the times.
Eric Muhe
I read with regret that this fine East German actor had died.
He played the Stassi man who became human in " The lives of Others" , an excellent film I mentioned some time ago.
In real life he had been persecuted until the fall of the wall, as an anti-government actor and activist. In making the film, he must have often thought of the things that had happened to him, which, I'm sure, made his acting and portrayal utterly brilliant.
He died of cancer at a relatively young age, perhaps brought on by his sufferings. I mourn his passing.
But we have friends staying who are nothing if not stalwart Tories. When I mentioned that Muhe's early death was probably brought on by his suffering at the hands of the East German Government, my friend said " Goes to show that Socialism gives you cancer."
Certainly, if the incidence of cancer in Scotland and Glasgow in particular are anything to go by, he is not wrong.
He played the Stassi man who became human in " The lives of Others" , an excellent film I mentioned some time ago.
In real life he had been persecuted until the fall of the wall, as an anti-government actor and activist. In making the film, he must have often thought of the things that had happened to him, which, I'm sure, made his acting and portrayal utterly brilliant.
He died of cancer at a relatively young age, perhaps brought on by his sufferings. I mourn his passing.
But we have friends staying who are nothing if not stalwart Tories. When I mentioned that Muhe's early death was probably brought on by his suffering at the hands of the East German Government, my friend said " Goes to show that Socialism gives you cancer."
Certainly, if the incidence of cancer in Scotland and Glasgow in particular are anything to go by, he is not wrong.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Death of two hedgehogs
I read the following in Money Week today.:
" The Department for Environment etc ( DEFRA) has run up a bill of £50,000 for taxpayers over the alleged wrongful deaths of two hedgehogs. DEFRA said the animals were poisoned by Great Yarmouth Council, despite having no back-up from either the RSPCA or police. After a FOUR DAY trial, the judge threw the case out. DEFRA's wildlife adviser was forced to admit there was no conclusive evidence the hedgehogs had been killed by poison. Robert Whiley, the pest controller who had laid the poison in a pensioner's garden after she complained of rats, denied recklessly distributing it. When his level of training was questioned, he said " I've been on more courses than Lester Piggot."
I think several points emerge from this.
1) Judges in general retain their independence and common sense.
2) The Government and DEFRA in particular are complete morons, to whom OUR money is water through their fingers.
3) Robert Whiley has been on a number of pest control courses.
4) DEFRA, despite presumably having Government Laboratories at it's beck and call, couldn't prove there was any poison in the hedgehogs.
and finally 5) There are rats in Yarmouth.
I don't actually think any of this should come as a surprise to anyone. I am particularly enamoured of our judges, who seem to be that last bastion against the government and the taxman ( viz. Arctic case the other day).
If only there was more common sense around.
" The Department for Environment etc ( DEFRA) has run up a bill of £50,000 for taxpayers over the alleged wrongful deaths of two hedgehogs. DEFRA said the animals were poisoned by Great Yarmouth Council, despite having no back-up from either the RSPCA or police. After a FOUR DAY trial, the judge threw the case out. DEFRA's wildlife adviser was forced to admit there was no conclusive evidence the hedgehogs had been killed by poison. Robert Whiley, the pest controller who had laid the poison in a pensioner's garden after she complained of rats, denied recklessly distributing it. When his level of training was questioned, he said " I've been on more courses than Lester Piggot."
I think several points emerge from this.
1) Judges in general retain their independence and common sense.
2) The Government and DEFRA in particular are complete morons, to whom OUR money is water through their fingers.
3) Robert Whiley has been on a number of pest control courses.
4) DEFRA, despite presumably having Government Laboratories at it's beck and call, couldn't prove there was any poison in the hedgehogs.
and finally 5) There are rats in Yarmouth.
I don't actually think any of this should come as a surprise to anyone. I am particularly enamoured of our judges, who seem to be that last bastion against the government and the taxman ( viz. Arctic case the other day).
If only there was more common sense around.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Proactive recycling in Scotland's southern counties
This is complete plagiarism, but I just love the story.
We have a friend staying, helping sort out various IT issues. As I was driving him into town today, he told me of the village near Bristol, which had had metal flood defences installed some years ago. After they had twice been stolen ( hence " proactive recycling" in the words of the council spokesperson), it was decided they should be stored in a place of safety, and only installed when a flood threatened.
So last week, it was decided the time had come. The plan was in place, the equipment was ready, the transport was laid on, the critical path analysis was in place. It only remained to move the barriers and install them.
Alas, by the time this had all been done, the barriers could not reach the relevant location.
The roads leading to the installation site were already under 8ft. of water. So the town ended up being flooded out again.
As with so many things with this present government, the law of unintended consequences struck again.
PS we have our first flood refugees arriving tonight. Apart from the motorway gunk they will presumably have eaten on the way north, the coq au vin being prepared for them will be their first hot meal in 5 days.
We have a friend staying, helping sort out various IT issues. As I was driving him into town today, he told me of the village near Bristol, which had had metal flood defences installed some years ago. After they had twice been stolen ( hence " proactive recycling" in the words of the council spokesperson), it was decided they should be stored in a place of safety, and only installed when a flood threatened.
So last week, it was decided the time had come. The plan was in place, the equipment was ready, the transport was laid on, the critical path analysis was in place. It only remained to move the barriers and install them.
Alas, by the time this had all been done, the barriers could not reach the relevant location.
The roads leading to the installation site were already under 8ft. of water. So the town ended up being flooded out again.
As with so many things with this present government, the law of unintended consequences struck again.
PS we have our first flood refugees arriving tonight. Apart from the motorway gunk they will presumably have eaten on the way north, the coq au vin being prepared for them will be their first hot meal in 5 days.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
James Cleverly's Mum
James has had to come back from his hols, because his Mum was taken ill with a chest infection, which she did not survive.
The only two things absolutely sure in life are taxes and death, but I certainly do my best to mitigate the former.
My father predeceased my mother by some 14 years. When she died, for the first time ever, I actually felt grown-up. There wasn't anyone above me. There was just me.
Three things come back to me from that time.
The first is that my mother had got dressed in her new Basler suit, put on her makeup, done her hair and then dropped dead. We decided to bury her in the (extremely smart) new suit, only to discover the credit card bill with the purchase on it.
When I told a Godfather of mine of her decease, he said " Well, if it was a big day, your mother would surely have been looking her best".
The last thing was the funeral. Mother was never one for being morbid and morose, and the funeral in a small Lancashire town reflected that. Afterwards, I thanked the minister, only to be told, in a broad Yorkshire accent," It were a bit light for a funeral, in my view"
Mum would have been delighted.
The only two things absolutely sure in life are taxes and death, but I certainly do my best to mitigate the former.
My father predeceased my mother by some 14 years. When she died, for the first time ever, I actually felt grown-up. There wasn't anyone above me. There was just me.
Three things come back to me from that time.
The first is that my mother had got dressed in her new Basler suit, put on her makeup, done her hair and then dropped dead. We decided to bury her in the (extremely smart) new suit, only to discover the credit card bill with the purchase on it.
When I told a Godfather of mine of her decease, he said " Well, if it was a big day, your mother would surely have been looking her best".
The last thing was the funeral. Mother was never one for being morbid and morose, and the funeral in a small Lancashire town reflected that. Afterwards, I thanked the minister, only to be told, in a broad Yorkshire accent," It were a bit light for a funeral, in my view"
Mum would have been delighted.
Out of the blue
I got a phone call the other day from someone I knew had left the country.
He had a few problems some years back and he scarpered to avoid retribution in spades, not only from the police but a few other people as well.
He was calling from Glasgow, he said. He had popped back because his old Mum was ill and he wanted to see her before she died. He wouldn't be going to the funeral, as people would be looking for him. They'd never think he would be back before, and probably didn't even know she was ill.
Why he called me was a complete mystery, except he and I had always got on well, and, in so far as I trust anyone, I had trusted him. One might say there is honour amongst thieves. In some small way I had helped him when he first went overseas, but, on reflection, I had probably heard nothing from him for more than 15 years.
He was doing well. He had not had loads of money when he went, but he had managed to make a life for himself. He was married with two kids. They were very happy. He regretted his earlier life. He blamed the people he went about with in the late 80's. They were still looking for him.
This last was hardly surprising, as he had left depositions for the Procurator Fiscal about the activities of certain gentlemen.But he had left before any trials as he knew he would never survive day one.
He thanked me for my small service. He said he would buy me a drink if we ever met again, but failed to tell me where he was.
It was an interesting conversation, and it set me thinking.
It makes no difference what happens, life goes on.
Unless you're dead of course.
He had a few problems some years back and he scarpered to avoid retribution in spades, not only from the police but a few other people as well.
He was calling from Glasgow, he said. He had popped back because his old Mum was ill and he wanted to see her before she died. He wouldn't be going to the funeral, as people would be looking for him. They'd never think he would be back before, and probably didn't even know she was ill.
Why he called me was a complete mystery, except he and I had always got on well, and, in so far as I trust anyone, I had trusted him. One might say there is honour amongst thieves. In some small way I had helped him when he first went overseas, but, on reflection, I had probably heard nothing from him for more than 15 years.
He was doing well. He had not had loads of money when he went, but he had managed to make a life for himself. He was married with two kids. They were very happy. He regretted his earlier life. He blamed the people he went about with in the late 80's. They were still looking for him.
This last was hardly surprising, as he had left depositions for the Procurator Fiscal about the activities of certain gentlemen.But he had left before any trials as he knew he would never survive day one.
He thanked me for my small service. He said he would buy me a drink if we ever met again, but failed to tell me where he was.
It was an interesting conversation, and it set me thinking.
It makes no difference what happens, life goes on.
Unless you're dead of course.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Scotland the What?
I have written before about this since disbanded group of comedians from Rhynnie outside Aberdeen. Not only was their speech almost incomprehensible, their belief that Rhynnie was the centre of the Universe made them a very endearing act.
I was reminded of them yesterday as I walked along the cliffs at Dunure near Ayr. We had had an excellent lunch outside at the pub. We were taking a constitutional for our health ( and the dog's). The sun was blazing down ( really) so strongly that the suntan cream was doing the rounds.
And I thought to myself, if only the weather was reasonably stable and like this a bit more of the time, noone would ever leave Scotland.
At which point we walked past a parked car where the people inside were setting up their own BBQ. I could not understand a word that was being said. I decided they might be Polish. Or Latvian. Or anything.
And then I noticed the car number plate. From Aberdeenshire. I couldn't resist asking if they knew Rhynnie.
" Aye.Centre of the Universe " I think he said.
So it's everyone there then.
I was reminded of them yesterday as I walked along the cliffs at Dunure near Ayr. We had had an excellent lunch outside at the pub. We were taking a constitutional for our health ( and the dog's). The sun was blazing down ( really) so strongly that the suntan cream was doing the rounds.
And I thought to myself, if only the weather was reasonably stable and like this a bit more of the time, noone would ever leave Scotland.
At which point we walked past a parked car where the people inside were setting up their own BBQ. I could not understand a word that was being said. I decided they might be Polish. Or Latvian. Or anything.
And then I noticed the car number plate. From Aberdeenshire. I couldn't resist asking if they knew Rhynnie.
" Aye.Centre of the Universe " I think he said.
So it's everyone there then.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
The Man who said he could be there for 9am.
We have a friend staying who decided, after a year of not asking, that he would quite like to get back some of the money the British Government took from him. I refer, of course, to the dole, or, as we say not in Jockshire but in SCOTLAND - the Broo. This is lingua franca for The Bureau, short for the Employment Bureau, which is what everyone used to call the offices now called - who knows, but the place you go to sign on if you are out of a job.
He carefully phoned for an appointment, and was told there was a long waiting list. After some discussion - and reluctance on the part of the person supposed to give him some of his own money back - a date one week after the phone call, was agreed.
Because he decided to visit us, he phoned again to say he would be unable to come on the appointed date. More than a certain amount of belligerence was expressed, especially as he justified his non-appearance because he intended to look for a job in Glasgow.
" You'll need to bring proof, otherwise we can't help you" said the harridan. After some more fruitless discussion, my friend put the 'phone down, and rang back five minutes later.
" I want to apply for jobseekers allowance," he said, disguising his normal mellifluent tones with some difficulty. He says it was worse than Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
" There's a very long waiting list -have you applied before?"
"No" Sharp intake of breath at the other end of the phone.
" It'll be at least two or three weeks. What time could you come in?"
" What time do you open?" " 9am"
" That's fine I'll come in at 9am"
" Seriously? You could come in at 9am?" " Yes"
" Oh, well, you could come in any day you like - even tomorrow. Noone ever comes in before 11"
Now in theory, if you have to sign on, it appears you get a letter saying you have to be there for 9am. But noone ever is.
And these are people with no jobs and nothing to do. I hate to think when someone who actually did have something to do would turn up.
He carefully phoned for an appointment, and was told there was a long waiting list. After some discussion - and reluctance on the part of the person supposed to give him some of his own money back - a date one week after the phone call, was agreed.
Because he decided to visit us, he phoned again to say he would be unable to come on the appointed date. More than a certain amount of belligerence was expressed, especially as he justified his non-appearance because he intended to look for a job in Glasgow.
" You'll need to bring proof, otherwise we can't help you" said the harridan. After some more fruitless discussion, my friend put the 'phone down, and rang back five minutes later.
" I want to apply for jobseekers allowance," he said, disguising his normal mellifluent tones with some difficulty. He says it was worse than Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
" There's a very long waiting list -have you applied before?"
"No" Sharp intake of breath at the other end of the phone.
" It'll be at least two or three weeks. What time could you come in?"
" What time do you open?" " 9am"
" That's fine I'll come in at 9am"
" Seriously? You could come in at 9am?" " Yes"
" Oh, well, you could come in any day you like - even tomorrow. Noone ever comes in before 11"
Now in theory, if you have to sign on, it appears you get a letter saying you have to be there for 9am. But noone ever is.
And these are people with no jobs and nothing to do. I hate to think when someone who actually did have something to do would turn up.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
The Manzilla Foundation
I received a txt msge yesterday afternoon."Come to the opening of the exhibition at 7pm Artentrepreneur".Artie is the son of friends of ours, who has managed to create an impressive arts empire in an old whisky bond. By the way, www.whisky.com is presently in an auction of domain names, and is sitting at $200,000 if you want to make a bid.
Anyway, Mrs. Lear and I have a friend staying, so we thought it a good idea to take him along to see what Le Tout Glasgow has to offer.
The art itself was not overly wonderful, apart from a circle made from straight vertical lines ( weird but true) which I thought would look good in the corridor of a building we are doing up.
However, the performance art group - The Manzilla Foundation - were rather fun. Two men and a girl - one leading a Saluki - extolled the joys of artists rising like a Phoenix from the ashes, and handed out envelopes.
When I read the contents, I immediately thought it was a brilliant idea. It plainly stated that the MF would take away any art that the owner wished destroyed, certify it had been burned, and produce a piece of paper to that effect for presentation.I thought what a brilliant way of raising money for the Artentrepreneur! I just bet there are many who would like to destroy a lot of the work he sells.
As one of the paintings in the show I particularly disliked, I decided I would buy it and present it for destruction.
Fortunately, I decided to check to cost of the actual destruction process before proceeding.
The MF person I asked was horrified. I had completely misunderstood the whole thing. The idea was that an Artist might be having eg writing block or creative block, and it might be his/her previous work was holding her/him back. The MF only undertook to destroy an Artist's own work, and at that Artist's request.
Can't help thinking Mr.Artie has missed a trick.
Anyway, Mrs. Lear and I have a friend staying, so we thought it a good idea to take him along to see what Le Tout Glasgow has to offer.
The art itself was not overly wonderful, apart from a circle made from straight vertical lines ( weird but true) which I thought would look good in the corridor of a building we are doing up.
However, the performance art group - The Manzilla Foundation - were rather fun. Two men and a girl - one leading a Saluki - extolled the joys of artists rising like a Phoenix from the ashes, and handed out envelopes.
When I read the contents, I immediately thought it was a brilliant idea. It plainly stated that the MF would take away any art that the owner wished destroyed, certify it had been burned, and produce a piece of paper to that effect for presentation.I thought what a brilliant way of raising money for the Artentrepreneur! I just bet there are many who would like to destroy a lot of the work he sells.
As one of the paintings in the show I particularly disliked, I decided I would buy it and present it for destruction.
Fortunately, I decided to check to cost of the actual destruction process before proceeding.
The MF person I asked was horrified. I had completely misunderstood the whole thing. The idea was that an Artist might be having eg writing block or creative block, and it might be his/her previous work was holding her/him back. The MF only undertook to destroy an Artist's own work, and at that Artist's request.
Can't help thinking Mr.Artie has missed a trick.
Jockshire
I came across http://www.jockshire.com/ - I've tried to put a link it, but as the resident non-tecky I can't get it to work. I'll wait for someone to turn up and do it for me.
Anyway, outrageously, it refers to where I live as " England's northernmost county"
We're not! We're a country on our own with some autonomy.The interesting thing is that despite the promulgator of this site's apparent disdain, by calling us this, he implies there is and should be a UNITED KINGDOM.
But the author does have a point when he mentions the West Lothian question. I think he intends that the Loth bit ( read LOATHE) makes his point. Unfortunate, too, that for every crossword compiler ever born, the clue containing the word "Scot" always ends up being IAN - slightly esoteric I know, but true none the less ( loathe a Scot - geddit?).
Certainly, per head of population, we provide more forces personnel than any other part of the UK. And more Labour voters, heart attacks and pious cant. We do defeat much better than the English, something I have always found endearing. Bill Shankly's " Football is more important than life or death" sums us up almost perfectly.
In a recent survey ( reinforced by the Holyrood Election results) more of us Jocks wanted to separate from England. Many more English want rid of us. If we are to be treated as just another English County ( something that Jack McConnel effectively did, which lost him the election) then maybe we should declare UDI. Alex Salmond and his team are presently making all political parties look cack-handed and out of touch.
The one thing we lack in our homeland is irony. Enthusiasm, pride,aggression, self-belief and self-doubt in equal measure, and passion we have in spades, but not irony.
I was reminded of this yesterday when, parked and waiting for a friend, I was beside a Big Issue seller. He did a brilliant marketing job, and within a few minutes had clearly collected about £10 or so. Without a moment's hesitation he nipped into the bookies next door to place a bet. I saw him do this about four times.
Think about that next time a ( non) homeless person urges you to buy a load of drivel.
P.S. I particularly like the picture at the top of Jockshire - a wet window. Whilst I would normally agree, we have, mercifully, not been flood out, unlike SCOTLAND'S SOUTHERNMOST COUNTIES.
Anyway, outrageously, it refers to where I live as " England's northernmost county"
We're not! We're a country on our own with some autonomy.The interesting thing is that despite the promulgator of this site's apparent disdain, by calling us this, he implies there is and should be a UNITED KINGDOM.
But the author does have a point when he mentions the West Lothian question. I think he intends that the Loth bit ( read LOATHE) makes his point. Unfortunate, too, that for every crossword compiler ever born, the clue containing the word "Scot" always ends up being IAN - slightly esoteric I know, but true none the less ( loathe a Scot - geddit?).
Certainly, per head of population, we provide more forces personnel than any other part of the UK. And more Labour voters, heart attacks and pious cant. We do defeat much better than the English, something I have always found endearing. Bill Shankly's " Football is more important than life or death" sums us up almost perfectly.
In a recent survey ( reinforced by the Holyrood Election results) more of us Jocks wanted to separate from England. Many more English want rid of us. If we are to be treated as just another English County ( something that Jack McConnel effectively did, which lost him the election) then maybe we should declare UDI. Alex Salmond and his team are presently making all political parties look cack-handed and out of touch.
The one thing we lack in our homeland is irony. Enthusiasm, pride,aggression, self-belief and self-doubt in equal measure, and passion we have in spades, but not irony.
I was reminded of this yesterday when, parked and waiting for a friend, I was beside a Big Issue seller. He did a brilliant marketing job, and within a few minutes had clearly collected about £10 or so. Without a moment's hesitation he nipped into the bookies next door to place a bet. I saw him do this about four times.
Think about that next time a ( non) homeless person urges you to buy a load of drivel.
P.S. I particularly like the picture at the top of Jockshire - a wet window. Whilst I would normally agree, we have, mercifully, not been flood out, unlike SCOTLAND'S SOUTHERNMOST COUNTIES.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Butterflies
From 7am yesterday morning I was walking over fields and hills, checking maps against physical contours and landmarks, taking photos to tie in with marks on the maps. By the time we finished at 2pm we were all seriously exhausted, but we had mapped out an area we wanted to buy to plant trees, create a fishery and recreational lake.
It's a most beautiful valley, just beside Mosna. It abounds with thousands of butterflies, birds and flora. We are only using a tiny part of it, so anyone who wants to see the sights I did yesterday can go anytime. One was of about 1,000 small blues and grizzled skippers dancing,whirling and alighting, only to shoot away again. Fantastic.
The rest of the day was spent checking titles against the maps, getting people to sign precontracts and generally doing all the dull and uninteresting stuff that you can't leave to chance.
Most of the land we are buying is derelict in the sense that it is no longer worked - the owners have long disappeared to Germany or into the towns - and our hope is that by giving employment, it will bring people back to the villlages. Or at least encourage them to stay.
All bar two of the people signing yesterday were young people who had inherited the land from their parents or grandparents. They had no interest in keeping it. They no longer had any connections with Mosna or the villages round about. They just wanted the money.
There were two old men , no longer able to work, both well into their '80s, who were selling. The first was going to move to the local town where his children all lived, and the money would help with that move.
The other was a wonderful character and man of honour. He looked every inch like a Roman Senator. But inwardly I was crying whilst he signed the papers.
He had three daughters. They all lived in Canada and America. He hadn't seen them for more than fifteen years. He had never seen his grandchildren, although he had photographs of them. I asked if he had any plans for the money. No, he said, he would probably just have an extra glass of wine or two. In any case he had a bad heart and probably wouldn't last long anyway.
Our buying the land from the old people ( rather than the younger ones) triggers a payment from the State of Eur 100 per year per hectare. The idea is to consolidate the ( very small and scattered) areas around villages. Overall therefore, our buying his land was going to represent quite a significant increase in his standard of living.
But I felt heart-sore for him. I have three daughters too, and I thought, perhaps for the first time ever, about what being old and alone really meant.
It isn't nice.
So go out today and try and find an old person to be nice to.
I promise it will make you feel better.
It's a most beautiful valley, just beside Mosna. It abounds with thousands of butterflies, birds and flora. We are only using a tiny part of it, so anyone who wants to see the sights I did yesterday can go anytime. One was of about 1,000 small blues and grizzled skippers dancing,whirling and alighting, only to shoot away again. Fantastic.
The rest of the day was spent checking titles against the maps, getting people to sign precontracts and generally doing all the dull and uninteresting stuff that you can't leave to chance.
Most of the land we are buying is derelict in the sense that it is no longer worked - the owners have long disappeared to Germany or into the towns - and our hope is that by giving employment, it will bring people back to the villlages. Or at least encourage them to stay.
All bar two of the people signing yesterday were young people who had inherited the land from their parents or grandparents. They had no interest in keeping it. They no longer had any connections with Mosna or the villages round about. They just wanted the money.
There were two old men , no longer able to work, both well into their '80s, who were selling. The first was going to move to the local town where his children all lived, and the money would help with that move.
The other was a wonderful character and man of honour. He looked every inch like a Roman Senator. But inwardly I was crying whilst he signed the papers.
He had three daughters. They all lived in Canada and America. He hadn't seen them for more than fifteen years. He had never seen his grandchildren, although he had photographs of them. I asked if he had any plans for the money. No, he said, he would probably just have an extra glass of wine or two. In any case he had a bad heart and probably wouldn't last long anyway.
Our buying the land from the old people ( rather than the younger ones) triggers a payment from the State of Eur 100 per year per hectare. The idea is to consolidate the ( very small and scattered) areas around villages. Overall therefore, our buying his land was going to represent quite a significant increase in his standard of living.
But I felt heart-sore for him. I have three daughters too, and I thought, perhaps for the first time ever, about what being old and alone really meant.
It isn't nice.
So go out today and try and find an old person to be nice to.
I promise it will make you feel better.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
My way of Life...
I'm back in Transylvania again in the most glorious weather.
I just love it here. I love the way everyone tells me to be careful of everyone else as they are crooks. It's the Yorkshireman's cry of " I worry about everyone except thee and me and I sometimes worry about thee."
This has been, so far, the most interesting visit yet.
I got the keys for our new ( read 1796) office/flat and have put in train various changes.
Cleaning it for a start.
Anyway, with a bit of luck when I come back next month it will be a) habitable and b) useable.
I've been interviewed by some Romanian TV Channel, and three times by journalists, all in connection with the LAG ( qv) and now the EcoMuseum project (see below). Two very nice Welsh ladies, one older one younger, who were in the area doing research for a play they want to write about immigrant workers in UK, heard about me and Alin my translator, and asked to meet for an interview. We scheduled them in for 30 minutes, only to find that the mobiles started ringing to demand why weren't we in Biertan. We looked at our watches to discover that nearly two hours had gone past. Just as an aside, this shows that turning up 2 hours late in Romania is not unusual.
The EcoMuseum project is most interesting. In effect, 6 villages have clubbed together to form a living testimony to the Saxon past in the area. The LAG has set aside one room in its offices in Mosna as a starting point for the tour ( brochures, maps,guides etc) and from there you will be able to visit various places. We did a tiny bit today ( the dignitaries were more interested in the food and drink to come). It included the Mosna Church and Citadel, the first place Prince Charles wanted to visit in Romania. To the house set aside for the LAG and EcoMuseum , then on to a Saxon ( still in use) corn mill, a working farm, and the oldest house in the village with beams date marked 1794. A small libation was taken in each of the wine made by the owner, water was drunk from the wells, honey from the honey combs, tomatoes from the gardens and then it was time for the feast.
It took place in the kindergarten school. 60 of us sat down to pork and vegetable sour soup ( sounds dreadful but is truly delicious) with wine, plum brandy and a glass of water for the wimps. The main course called ( I think) Sambals, is pork and rice wrapped in cabbage, and served with cabbage. Sounds dreadful but is utterly wonderful to eat.
Of course there were some speeches ( including one from me saying how happy I was and delighted to be invited) which resulted in a kiss on both cheeks from all the men present. None of the women bothered - or maybe they weren't allowed to. The local choir master rendered a Romanian paen of praise to the mayors present.
Amidst all this, Alin, myself and our advisor on matters sylvan, managed to look over some land, agree a price for it, agree to meet with another 12 potential vendors on monday, and get the car washed. This last was very important, as it gave the three of us about 10 minutes to gather our thoughts and plan the next bit.
At the feast I sat next to a man who had been at a thing called Globefest in Budapest, organised by the person who drove a tractor through a McDonalds, and went to jail for it to make his point.The theme of the "fest" was " Which way IS forward". I think this is increasingly a very important point, particularly in places like Romania. It seems to me to be unlikely that our very advanced society IS going to go forward in any meaningful way for billions of people on Planet Earth.
Transylvania,despite it's many problems, does not show any of the angst, jealousy and envy visible anywhere in the UK. Even the poorest, living on the equivalent of Eur100 per month, are clothed, fed and housed - and apparently happy. How many in the UK on 20 or 30 times this amount can say they really are happy?
The reason we were to be in Biertan was to meet a fantastic lady who paid for the children of poor people to be educated. That sounds very grand, but it only consisted in her giving them the bus fare each day to the main town - about Eur 50 per child per year. She had no money herself. She begged, borrowed and shamed anyone and everyone to give her money. If anything, she is a Rosa Luxembourg staunch Communist, but in the true tradition of sharing. If there were more like her, Romania would be the best educated country in Europe.
She told me a story about when she got married. In fact, she didn't mean married in the religious sense, she meant bedded. She has stayed with the man for 35 years and they have children.
The reason they never married was that her "husband" had elderly parents who had a flat, and she had a small flat as well. If they had married, there would have been two flats with one surname between them, and blood-related people in each.
At that time in Romania, such a situation meant that the second flat had to be given back to the state. No ifs no buts.
As she says ." We still have a hard life, but we are free."
I wish we appreciated freedom as much.
I just love it here. I love the way everyone tells me to be careful of everyone else as they are crooks. It's the Yorkshireman's cry of " I worry about everyone except thee and me and I sometimes worry about thee."
This has been, so far, the most interesting visit yet.
I got the keys for our new ( read 1796) office/flat and have put in train various changes.
Cleaning it for a start.
Anyway, with a bit of luck when I come back next month it will be a) habitable and b) useable.
I've been interviewed by some Romanian TV Channel, and three times by journalists, all in connection with the LAG ( qv) and now the EcoMuseum project (see below). Two very nice Welsh ladies, one older one younger, who were in the area doing research for a play they want to write about immigrant workers in UK, heard about me and Alin my translator, and asked to meet for an interview. We scheduled them in for 30 minutes, only to find that the mobiles started ringing to demand why weren't we in Biertan. We looked at our watches to discover that nearly two hours had gone past. Just as an aside, this shows that turning up 2 hours late in Romania is not unusual.
The EcoMuseum project is most interesting. In effect, 6 villages have clubbed together to form a living testimony to the Saxon past in the area. The LAG has set aside one room in its offices in Mosna as a starting point for the tour ( brochures, maps,guides etc) and from there you will be able to visit various places. We did a tiny bit today ( the dignitaries were more interested in the food and drink to come). It included the Mosna Church and Citadel, the first place Prince Charles wanted to visit in Romania. To the house set aside for the LAG and EcoMuseum , then on to a Saxon ( still in use) corn mill, a working farm, and the oldest house in the village with beams date marked 1794. A small libation was taken in each of the wine made by the owner, water was drunk from the wells, honey from the honey combs, tomatoes from the gardens and then it was time for the feast.
It took place in the kindergarten school. 60 of us sat down to pork and vegetable sour soup ( sounds dreadful but is truly delicious) with wine, plum brandy and a glass of water for the wimps. The main course called ( I think) Sambals, is pork and rice wrapped in cabbage, and served with cabbage. Sounds dreadful but is utterly wonderful to eat.
Of course there were some speeches ( including one from me saying how happy I was and delighted to be invited) which resulted in a kiss on both cheeks from all the men present. None of the women bothered - or maybe they weren't allowed to. The local choir master rendered a Romanian paen of praise to the mayors present.
Amidst all this, Alin, myself and our advisor on matters sylvan, managed to look over some land, agree a price for it, agree to meet with another 12 potential vendors on monday, and get the car washed. This last was very important, as it gave the three of us about 10 minutes to gather our thoughts and plan the next bit.
At the feast I sat next to a man who had been at a thing called Globefest in Budapest, organised by the person who drove a tractor through a McDonalds, and went to jail for it to make his point.The theme of the "fest" was " Which way IS forward". I think this is increasingly a very important point, particularly in places like Romania. It seems to me to be unlikely that our very advanced society IS going to go forward in any meaningful way for billions of people on Planet Earth.
Transylvania,despite it's many problems, does not show any of the angst, jealousy and envy visible anywhere in the UK. Even the poorest, living on the equivalent of Eur100 per month, are clothed, fed and housed - and apparently happy. How many in the UK on 20 or 30 times this amount can say they really are happy?
The reason we were to be in Biertan was to meet a fantastic lady who paid for the children of poor people to be educated. That sounds very grand, but it only consisted in her giving them the bus fare each day to the main town - about Eur 50 per child per year. She had no money herself. She begged, borrowed and shamed anyone and everyone to give her money. If anything, she is a Rosa Luxembourg staunch Communist, but in the true tradition of sharing. If there were more like her, Romania would be the best educated country in Europe.
She told me a story about when she got married. In fact, she didn't mean married in the religious sense, she meant bedded. She has stayed with the man for 35 years and they have children.
The reason they never married was that her "husband" had elderly parents who had a flat, and she had a small flat as well. If they had married, there would have been two flats with one surname between them, and blood-related people in each.
At that time in Romania, such a situation meant that the second flat had to be given back to the state. No ifs no buts.
As she says ." We still have a hard life, but we are free."
I wish we appreciated freedom as much.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Lost 'phone
Whilst at the Bard on Sunday afternoon, a lady started wandering around waving a mobile phone " Anyone lost one?"
As she seemed somewhat lost herself, I took the phone off her and phoned O2 - the network provider in this case. Luckily, the mobile's number was written on the back. They couldn't help - it was against company policy to give out the names of mobile owners - even though I was phoning from the number concerned.
So I started to phone the people in the stored numbers. I asked if they recognised the number. The first two said they didn't and had no idea who it could be.
The third said: " Oh my God! What's happened?" When I calmed him down I told him it was a lost mobile, and, from his reaction, I assumed he knew who it was.
" Hang on hang on!" he shreeked," I'll need to read the number again!" There was a pause, followed by some muttering.
" Er ..actually I have no idea whose number it is" - end of conversation.
So I went into previously dialled numbers and dialled the first one. Fortunately, my enquiry was met with a calm man's voice, who opined it was his mother's number, her name was Mrs.X, and she was at the do with a Mrs.Y.
It transpired Mrs.X had gone home, but Mrs.Y was still there and promised to return the phone to her.
However, the non-recognition of the numbers set me thinking. It was a pretty old 'phone, with odd bits of cellotape on it. My eventual conclusion was that whoever had owned the phone before had stored numbers in it, but that Mrs. X had never deleted them. The old phone owner would have given his mates his new number, so they wouldn't recognise the old one on their screens.
I could have spent all afternoon contacting the stored numbers to no effect.
As she seemed somewhat lost herself, I took the phone off her and phoned O2 - the network provider in this case. Luckily, the mobile's number was written on the back. They couldn't help - it was against company policy to give out the names of mobile owners - even though I was phoning from the number concerned.
So I started to phone the people in the stored numbers. I asked if they recognised the number. The first two said they didn't and had no idea who it could be.
The third said: " Oh my God! What's happened?" When I calmed him down I told him it was a lost mobile, and, from his reaction, I assumed he knew who it was.
" Hang on hang on!" he shreeked," I'll need to read the number again!" There was a pause, followed by some muttering.
" Er ..actually I have no idea whose number it is" - end of conversation.
So I went into previously dialled numbers and dialled the first one. Fortunately, my enquiry was met with a calm man's voice, who opined it was his mother's number, her name was Mrs.X, and she was at the do with a Mrs.Y.
It transpired Mrs.X had gone home, but Mrs.Y was still there and promised to return the phone to her.
However, the non-recognition of the numbers set me thinking. It was a pretty old 'phone, with odd bits of cellotape on it. My eventual conclusion was that whoever had owned the phone before had stored numbers in it, but that Mrs. X had never deleted them. The old phone owner would have given his mates his new number, so they wouldn't recognise the old one on their screens.
I could have spent all afternoon contacting the stored numbers to no effect.
Whither?
I wrote a while ago, before Flash, that there was a sense of drift and stasis in the country.
I accept that the attempted bombings and other matters have somewhat interrupted various agendas, but I don't sense any great directional impulse.
I am reading Fantasy Island at the moment, which I daresay is influencing my thoughts, but there does not seem to be anything "new" going on. If anything, the Tories committees reporting over the next few months is arguably the most interesting thing happening.
France under Sarko is certainly girding her loins, whilst Germany has slowly but surely been plodding along. I am always amused at Flash's insistence that these two countries are " in trouble" because of their refusal to adhere to the new Anglo-Saxon business principles . My goodness, they still make things! How old fashioned! Except Germany is still the largest exporter in the world, and the French are getting along pretty well too.
We ,on the other hand, are over-indebted, oversupplied with non-productive council and government " workers", and have no world class businesses apart from pharmaceuticals. And they will probably leave soon for the good old US of A where the real money is.
So what's to do? It seems Flash has no real new ideas. He may have intended to announce a blizzard of initiatives, and may yet do so, but it can only be more of the same. They don't have principles. They have the desire for control.
So I await with interest the Tories results. At least it represents some debate and thought.
I accept that the attempted bombings and other matters have somewhat interrupted various agendas, but I don't sense any great directional impulse.
I am reading Fantasy Island at the moment, which I daresay is influencing my thoughts, but there does not seem to be anything "new" going on. If anything, the Tories committees reporting over the next few months is arguably the most interesting thing happening.
France under Sarko is certainly girding her loins, whilst Germany has slowly but surely been plodding along. I am always amused at Flash's insistence that these two countries are " in trouble" because of their refusal to adhere to the new Anglo-Saxon business principles . My goodness, they still make things! How old fashioned! Except Germany is still the largest exporter in the world, and the French are getting along pretty well too.
We ,on the other hand, are over-indebted, oversupplied with non-productive council and government " workers", and have no world class businesses apart from pharmaceuticals. And they will probably leave soon for the good old US of A where the real money is.
So what's to do? It seems Flash has no real new ideas. He may have intended to announce a blizzard of initiatives, and may yet do so, but it can only be more of the same. They don't have principles. They have the desire for control.
So I await with interest the Tories results. At least it represents some debate and thought.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Lazin' on a summer afternoon....
I had a lovely Sunday afternoon, sitting in the sun, having a picnic and watching a rather good rendition of Midsummer Night's Dream.
It was all in the aid of charity, and the cast of Bard in Botanics ( http://www.bardinthebotanics.org/) gave their time and afternoon off for free ( NB all contributions gratefully accepted).
Apart from the fact they performed exceptionally well, our Director, Gordon, had done a brilliant job of having only 5 actors. It certainly kept our brains in gear, as Hermia also played Titania,Oberon etc etc - you get the idea. It was a pretty physical performance which used a lot of tricks to make the audience understand what was happening. Everyone enjoyed it.
http://living.scotsman.com/performing.cfm?id=974822007
Even more interesting is going to be Othello with only 5 actors, from next week. I can't help but feel small acting companies are the way forward. The London Theatres are presently swamped with musicals, who have the big budgets and the pulling power. We need a counterbalance or The Theatre, as we know it in this country, will eventually disappear.
It was all in the aid of charity, and the cast of Bard in Botanics ( http://www.bardinthebotanics.org/) gave their time and afternoon off for free ( NB all contributions gratefully accepted).
Apart from the fact they performed exceptionally well, our Director, Gordon, had done a brilliant job of having only 5 actors. It certainly kept our brains in gear, as Hermia also played Titania,Oberon etc etc - you get the idea. It was a pretty physical performance which used a lot of tricks to make the audience understand what was happening. Everyone enjoyed it.
http://living.scotsman.com/performing.cfm?id=974822007
Even more interesting is going to be Othello with only 5 actors, from next week. I can't help but feel small acting companies are the way forward. The London Theatres are presently swamped with musicals, who have the big budgets and the pulling power. We need a counterbalance or The Theatre, as we know it in this country, will eventually disappear.
DON'T MENTION THE WAR!
After my mentioning the day WWII broke out, the youngest Ms. Lear,who clearly does not have enough to do, emailed me the following:
To add to your anniversary and birthday: my birthday marks the day in 1936 when Germany occupied the Rhineland, breaching the Treaty of Versailles. On the Eldest Ms.Lear's birthday the first gas murder experiment were conducted at Auschwitz and on Mrs. Lear's birthday the the Germans occupied the remaining bits of Czechoslovakia.
Clearly Middle Ms. Lear is innocent of all charges.
UPDATE: Eldest Ms. Lear has opined that the MOST appalling thing about her birthday is she shares it with Cherie Blair - or Booth.
To add to your anniversary and birthday: my birthday marks the day in 1936 when Germany occupied the Rhineland, breaching the Treaty of Versailles. On the Eldest Ms.Lear's birthday the first gas murder experiment were conducted at Auschwitz and on Mrs. Lear's birthday the the Germans occupied the remaining bits of Czechoslovakia.
Clearly Middle Ms. Lear is innocent of all charges.
UPDATE: Eldest Ms. Lear has opined that the MOST appalling thing about her birthday is she shares it with Cherie Blair - or Booth.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
See You Jimmy
With all the praise for the taxi-driver who knocked the balls off the flaming terrorist the other day, I was reminded of an incident many years ago after a Scotland- England football match at the old Wembley.
I was driving back to Scotland and stopped in , I think, Harrow to get something to eat. As It was about half past nine at night, the only thing open was a Chinese Carryout. Inside were numerous people waiting for their orders, amongst whom were four quiet and well behaved Scots, reading their Daily Records, and commiserating with each other - Scotland had lost, I think, 3-0. They informed anyone in the assembled English company that would listen that " Aye, yer boys were good. Good match - could have gone either way."
Their number was called and they collected their bag of food. They had already paid ( a requirement in that place), and Jimmy checked the contents.
" Where's ma Chinese roll?"
You could have heard a pin drop in the shop.
The young Chinese girl serving was unabashed.
" You no order."
" Aye I bluidy did! An' paid 50p fer it an aw!"
At which point, his pal said " Leave it Jimmy, it's no worth it." - and out the shop they went, to sighs of relief all round. Conversations even started.
Until ten seconds later Jimmy came charging back in. Everyone tried to make themselves disappear into the walls, and Jimmy gripped the counter, leaning aggresively into the Chinese girl's face.
"It's no the 50p!. It's the principle o' the thing!" And he began to make his way out.
Half way to the door he stopped and turned. He was clearly trying to think of something to show he was a big man, to whom the 50p was a mere trifle.
" See, " he said," Its the principle. Why, I've spent more than 50p on... on.." nothing came out for a few seconds, and then enlightenment dawned. "... crisps!"
And out he went, head held high.
We are a proud race.
I was driving back to Scotland and stopped in , I think, Harrow to get something to eat. As It was about half past nine at night, the only thing open was a Chinese Carryout. Inside were numerous people waiting for their orders, amongst whom were four quiet and well behaved Scots, reading their Daily Records, and commiserating with each other - Scotland had lost, I think, 3-0. They informed anyone in the assembled English company that would listen that " Aye, yer boys were good. Good match - could have gone either way."
Their number was called and they collected their bag of food. They had already paid ( a requirement in that place), and Jimmy checked the contents.
" Where's ma Chinese roll?"
You could have heard a pin drop in the shop.
The young Chinese girl serving was unabashed.
" You no order."
" Aye I bluidy did! An' paid 50p fer it an aw!"
At which point, his pal said " Leave it Jimmy, it's no worth it." - and out the shop they went, to sighs of relief all round. Conversations even started.
Until ten seconds later Jimmy came charging back in. Everyone tried to make themselves disappear into the walls, and Jimmy gripped the counter, leaning aggresively into the Chinese girl's face.
"It's no the 50p!. It's the principle o' the thing!" And he began to make his way out.
Half way to the door he stopped and turned. He was clearly trying to think of something to show he was a big man, to whom the 50p was a mere trifle.
" See, " he said," Its the principle. Why, I've spent more than 50p on... on.." nothing came out for a few seconds, and then enlightenment dawned. "... crisps!"
And out he went, head held high.
We are a proud race.
That PMQs
I didn't watch it at the time ( although Mrs. Lear did).
From what I have seen and read, Brown is exhausted already. He stuttered. He twitched. He needs to train up.
But more importantly, the man's a complete bore. From Bliar, who was engaging, light on his feet, and, in my view, one of the great politicians and a genius at the soundbite, we have a man who is incapable of producing anything less than a tome.
The day of the NuLabour soundbite is gone. Flash can't do it. And if occassionally he manages a short bon mot, it sounds false, because someone else wrote it. Bliar always sounded as if he had made it up on the spot ( he mostly did) and meant it. Flash sounds as if he is reading the telephone directory.
Most commentators suggest he will get better. I'm not so sure. As PoliticalBetting points out today, PMQs mean just that - noone else can brief him, he has to answer. Bliar, of course, never answered anything, but Flash's instinct is to give an answer with facts and figures, and if he does, he will get shot down in flames every time.
The most telling moment, of course, was the " I've only been Prime Minister for 5 days..."( actually he was wrong - it's 7 days - not a good start). It sounded whiney and weak, and not the sort of thing one wants to hear from Our Leader.
There must already be many who wish Bliar was back. I'll take a small bet Flash won't lead NuLabour into the next election. I feel a resignation on "health grounds" coming up.
From what I have seen and read, Brown is exhausted already. He stuttered. He twitched. He needs to train up.
But more importantly, the man's a complete bore. From Bliar, who was engaging, light on his feet, and, in my view, one of the great politicians and a genius at the soundbite, we have a man who is incapable of producing anything less than a tome.
The day of the NuLabour soundbite is gone. Flash can't do it. And if occassionally he manages a short bon mot, it sounds false, because someone else wrote it. Bliar always sounded as if he had made it up on the spot ( he mostly did) and meant it. Flash sounds as if he is reading the telephone directory.
Most commentators suggest he will get better. I'm not so sure. As PoliticalBetting points out today, PMQs mean just that - noone else can brief him, he has to answer. Bliar, of course, never answered anything, but Flash's instinct is to give an answer with facts and figures, and if he does, he will get shot down in flames every time.
The most telling moment, of course, was the " I've only been Prime Minister for 5 days..."( actually he was wrong - it's 7 days - not a good start). It sounded whiney and weak, and not the sort of thing one wants to hear from Our Leader.
There must already be many who wish Bliar was back. I'll take a small bet Flash won't lead NuLabour into the next election. I feel a resignation on "health grounds" coming up.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Acrylic
I had lunch today with a couple of business colleagues. One is fairly erudite in a rough sort of way, whilst the other is fairly rough in a rough sort of way.
The latter, Mr. Wheeler Dealer, was most interested to hear all about Romania. Once I had given him the spiel, he told me he had never been, but he had gone on a fact finding mission ( read rape and pillage) some years ago to Bulgaria.
" Naw naw," he said," I couldnay take it. All that acrylic script."
Mr. Investment Management Guru looked pensive for a bit.
"That's wrong," he eventually said. " Think you mean acrostic"
I don't suppose they meant cyrilic, do you?
The latter, Mr. Wheeler Dealer, was most interested to hear all about Romania. Once I had given him the spiel, he told me he had never been, but he had gone on a fact finding mission ( read rape and pillage) some years ago to Bulgaria.
" Naw naw," he said," I couldnay take it. All that acrylic script."
Mr. Investment Management Guru looked pensive for a bit.
"That's wrong," he eventually said. " Think you mean acrostic"
I don't suppose they meant cyrilic, do you?
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
3rd September
In case anyone doesn't know, I was born on 3rd September some years ago.
I've always been proud that this date is an infamous one.
1929 - Black Tuesday.
1939 - WWII broke out.
1948 - you get the idea.
Anyway, I learnt for the first time tonight that " Les Droits des Hommes" was also signed originally on 3rd September, 1792.
It's not all bad then.
I've always been proud that this date is an infamous one.
1929 - Black Tuesday.
1939 - WWII broke out.
1948 - you get the idea.
Anyway, I learnt for the first time tonight that " Les Droits des Hommes" was also signed originally on 3rd September, 1792.
It's not all bad then.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Interview
As heard on Classic FM this evening.
" These people can come and do what they like down south. But this is Glasgow and we'll knock the S..t out of them"
Glad to see our true colours are still to the fore.
As I've said before Terry Pratchett's wee blue men ("We'll fight onythin'! We kin get oot of onywhere! - Except a pub") r us.
" These people can come and do what they like down south. But this is Glasgow and we'll knock the S..t out of them"
Glad to see our true colours are still to the fore.
As I've said before Terry Pratchett's wee blue men ("We'll fight onythin'! We kin get oot of onywhere! - Except a pub") r us.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Letter from Romania
Hi Alin,
there is an article in one of the UK papers today which offers tours to near Poiana Brasov which, if you go above the tree line, says you can see bears and wolves. Any chance if you could find out if there are guides or people who can take you to where to see them?
It is very cold here, we have the central heating on again!
Kinglear ______
Hello Mr King
every night in romania tv news its a reportage regarding the Brown Bears and wild Wolves as long as I know there are no guide,just 1 week ago 2 Amercans turist they got kiil by a wild Bear,(and because of this incident the Brasov authority they want to stop the turist and the taxi driver )they was brot there by a taxi driver,most of the turist they are brot there by taxi drivers,I think its a madness to hire a guid to bring turist in a place were nobody its safe!!!!
sometimes in this reportage on TV people are tryng to give food to Bears,the reasome wich the Bears are coming near to the main road its food ,because the romanian turist are used to trow rest of the food near to the tree line so this its one of the reasome wich the Bears are coming . Krs ,Alin
there is an article in one of the UK papers today which offers tours to near Poiana Brasov which, if you go above the tree line, says you can see bears and wolves. Any chance if you could find out if there are guides or people who can take you to where to see them?
It is very cold here, we have the central heating on again!
Kinglear ______
Hello Mr King
every night in romania tv news its a reportage regarding the Brown Bears and wild Wolves as long as I know there are no guide,just 1 week ago 2 Amercans turist they got kiil by a wild Bear,(and because of this incident the Brasov authority they want to stop the turist and the taxi driver )they was brot there by a taxi driver,most of the turist they are brot there by taxi drivers,I think its a madness to hire a guid to bring turist in a place were nobody its safe!!!!
sometimes in this reportage on TV people are tryng to give food to Bears,the reasome wich the Bears are coming near to the main road its food ,because the romanian turist are used to trow rest of the food near to the tree line so this its one of the reasome wich the Bears are coming . Krs ,Alin
Wotsis name part 2
It has to be Flash Gordon, or Flash for short, on the basis that somebody 6ft 10in is always called Tiny.
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